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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how your DP behaves when you're ill?

104 replies

Bellyrub1980 · 19/08/2016 22:03

As the title says really....

Is your DP affectionate? Caring? give you a big comforting hug?

Or do they get irritated and basically try to avoid you at all costs?

OP posts:
StillStayingClassySanDiego · 19/08/2016 22:08

He's fab, asks me what I need and buys me whatever j want to make me better (drugs, paracetamol) if we're out at home .

He doesn't hug me as he tries to avoid picking up the bug but wouldn't refuse a cuddle if I asked for one.

Jayne266 · 19/08/2016 22:09

My dh is loving and caring but I do feel like I have borrowed time. Mostly because he looks after ds and I feel like he would need a break at some point.

Gileswithachainsaw · 19/08/2016 22:10

He has a go at me for not taking it easy/going to bed yet never takes time of work or offers to help out or clears up properly so I can take it easy
....

positivity123 · 19/08/2016 22:11

Mine is lovely. He makes rest and bring food and drink and is very kind
On the other hand I'm terrible! I just have no patience with him and see it as whining but I've started to be a lot nicer as I'm learning from him.

VoldysGoneMouldy · 19/08/2016 22:11

He couldn't be better. He's wonderful.

TeamFinn · 19/08/2016 22:12

I get about 5 minutes of sympathy and then ignored or get unsubtle digs. It is one of the things that I like least about him.

dalmatianmad · 19/08/2016 22:13

Fortunately I'm never unwell but when I broke my leg last year DP was amazing, I didn't need to worry about a thing, he did everything for me and my dc. He gave me space if I needed it and cheered me up when I got down.
My exdh was an arse when I was unwell after an apendescetomy, he did absolutely nothing to help and made horrible comments that I looked "rough" Confused

PigPigTrotters · 19/08/2016 22:13

DH and I are both awful to each other if we're ill Blush
To be fair, it's really inconvenient and both of us milk it to have a break from day to day stuff (DC with ASD). It's also probably to do with us being a team when we're both at home and one team member down = chaos.
We do love each other really!

sunnydayinmay · 19/08/2016 22:14

He goes to pieces. He tries to be sympathetic, but actually can't cope. He also tells me to get "fixed". Hmm Like a broken car??

sunnydayinmay · 19/08/2016 22:15

Should say that I am awful when he is ill, as I do think he over plays it.

MrsTerryPratchett · 19/08/2016 22:16

He's lovely but invariably also 'gets sick' because he's a terrible hypochondriac. Family stuff so I know why! It's a running joke now!

ifyoulikepinacolada · 19/08/2016 22:17

I've never been ill in the time we've been together but I had a nasty injury last month and he was great in practical terms, walking the dog and stuff and not letting me do anything. He's veryanxious though so I had to do all the emotional work and keep reassuring him I was OK, which meant I actually took longer to get over what had happened! It's not his fault though and he'd hate to think I'd felt that.

ShatnersBassoon · 19/08/2016 22:17

He's great. I'm a useless nurse, very impatient and unsympathetic. He's the opposite of me. I really should get ill more often to get best use of him Grin

MsVestibule · 19/08/2016 22:18

I'm rarely poorly, but he's generally OK - if it's a weekend, he looks after the kids properly, leaves me to lie on the sofa/in bed etc.

I don't think he'd be all that good if I had a long term, chronic illness, though.

MadameCholetsDirtySecret · 19/08/2016 22:18

My DH is lovely. He would do anything for me despite having a hugely demanding career. I know I am his first priority.

Bagina · 19/08/2016 22:18

With 2 small dc running round, I just get the practicalities seen to! It's not good enough!

MLGs · 19/08/2016 22:19

Stbxh was awful. Completely awful.

Never (or rarely) did anything to take over with DCs. Would be quite rude about me being ill, annoyed with me about it. Horrible.

Really milked his own illnesses for all they were worth too,

SlipperyJack · 19/08/2016 22:20

Mine used to be an utter arse. Huffing and pouting like I'd personally insulted him. What cured him of it was me catching viral meningitis - hospital etc - and after I recovered I told him my main worry was that I wouldn't be able to "prove" I'd been really ill, given how he obviously thought I'd faked being ill in the past. (Bitchy I know, but it was true!) He had the grace to look ashamed and has been much more pleasant since. It doesn't help that he is one of those irritating gits who never gets poorly, whereas I can catch flu in an isolation cell.

Masketti · 19/08/2016 22:21

I have to make it perfectly clear I am Really Poorly. I had a migraine the other day and he acted like I was really irritating. I updated him on things that might happen while I was incapacitated (no idea how long one might last) because some people were due to pick up stuff I'd sold. Someone was due 2 hours later and he said "you're not still going to be in bed at 10.30 are you?" 2 hours is not an unreasonable length of time to have a migraine for!

That said he was an absolute star when I had hyperemesis during both pregnancies. Probably because it made me cry so much and I don't do a whole lot of crying.

Skiver123 · 19/08/2016 22:22

He waits on me hand and foot. Never leaves my side and always looks after me sick or not.

ChunkyMonkey4321 · 19/08/2016 22:22

I'm quite low maintenance when I'm ill (super hungover today) so he generally gets me a drink and a bit of food and leaves me to it. He is great with the kids, takes them out for tea or to the park and that helps more than pandering to me

Buzzardbird · 19/08/2016 22:22

I've just stabbed myself accidently with a fork, blood all over the place. DH got himself a glass of wine. DD helped me, put some plasters on and gave me a hug and a kiss.

Hugs are actually really good pain killers, I have just discoverd. :)

user1465383488 · 19/08/2016 22:23

It's changed with each child.
Pre kids we both attended to each other with various remedies and oodles of sympathy.
6 kids (2 SN) later and the "ill" person is resented and seen as a malingerer.
I have fibro and don't even bother complaining on my really bad days because it's much easier to grit my teeth and crack on myself 😁

JinkxMonsoon · 19/08/2016 22:24

Brilliant. He had to take two days off work to look after the kids when I had a gastro bug and couldn't get out of bed. It was massively inconvenient, but he did it and didn't complain.

Sheezus · 19/08/2016 22:27

He's good for approx two hours.
Then he gets whatever I have but tenfold.
He's wailing and flailing but I have to deal with everything and everyone.
EVERY time.