To ask how your DP behaves when you're ill?

[Bellyrub1980]

As the title says really....

Is your DP affectionate? Caring? give you a big comforting hug?

Or do they get irritated and basically try to avoid you at all costs?

Current DP is lovely, kind. Reassures me that it is ok to be ill and need looking after, because....

Ex-H was awful, would be furious about it, yell abuse at me, tell me I was "shit mum" for having the temerity to be ill, etc etc

Actually thinking about it, he was great when I was pregnant and in the early days with newborns so the way he is when I am ill is strange. Probably just thinks I am not really ill if I keep doing jobs as he immediately goes to bed and does nothing when he feels ill. And I judge him for not carry f on regardless. Guess we are both as bad as the other.

Last time I was ill dh unimpressed that I wouldn't get out of bed. I called ooh myself as I felt terrible. Dh took dc to school fete, activities and a birthday party, arranged to have them collected and then drove me to hospital.
4hrs later the ooh gp (they were very busy and missed appt times)put me in a wheelchair, took me to a&e and had me admitted.
I spent two days on iv being given anti-biotics to kill an infection.
Dh very guilty for being grumpy with me in the morning.

Mine doesn't understand why life doesn't just go on.
He's very rarely I'll, but when he is, I ship him off to bed and take care of him.
When I'm ill, I still have to parent, work, clean and cook. If I am so I'll I can't cook, he wombles on and on until it reaches about 8pm. Then starts cooking. Intact it's so rare that don't organise dinner because it means that my daughter will be up till 9pm waiting for food.

I'll get ratty with my OH, he'll roll around the house for days complaining about some ailment but won't take any painkillers

My oh knows his place when i'm ill, it's taken over 20 years but he's finally learnt to throw painkillers and fluids in my direction then leave me the hell alone until i'm better. It's also the one time he knows not to moan about me having the fan on at night.

Sulky, sullen, huffs and puffs and long, deep sighs about anything he has to do. Then claims he doesn't know why I'm pissed of with him when he's done everything I asked if him. Always does it with a heavy heart though, but because he hasn't refused he doesn't think he's done anything wrong. It really annoys me!

Arsy git! I get one day off, two if I'm really lucky! However, the whole world knows if he's ill. He was waited on hand and foot yesterday because he had a slight temperature.

I take back my comment about DH being a overprotective PITA.
I'm amazed some of these men aren't worm food!

His first reaction is usually "I hope I don't get it". But after I've told him off he's usually fine. To be honest, my illnesses tend to be the type where all I want is to be left alone till the headache's gone or I've stopped throwing up, so I don't want much from him - but he's fine about taking over with the DC. Once I spent Christmas Day moaning in bed and he did the whole thing brilliantly.

Have just read some of these out to DP. He's absolutely gobsmacked at these 'd'p's. I've got a sprained ankle atm. He got his old crutches out of the cupboard, makes me put my foot in hot water and cold water (and tops up the hot as soon as it cools down). I'm not allowed to be moving around so I don't put weight on it. Cups of tea are brought. He's doing all the cooking and washing up. Goes to the shop to get whatever I need and looks after DD (though she's 9 so not a lot of looking after).And he's told dd that mummy needs looking after so she's been giving me chocolate And that's just for a sprained ankle. Mind you, he gets looked after when he's ill as well. Can't believe some of the stuff being said by pp. Some blokes are terrible

He tends to leave me in bed if possible, look after the kids, bring me drinks often (too often sometimes, if I am asleep he will wake me up to 'let me know' there is a cuppa there...I don't want a cup of tea, I am asleep!) and generally really really good tbh. He does often push for me to eat though when I never eat when ill but I think he is just worried about me..I hate it though, I am perfectly capable of going without food for a day or two if it means I wont puke.

Strange I think I'd get real sympathy for a broken bone or a life threatening illness. My DP was amazing after the birth of my daughter. And similarly very patient and supportive when I had PND. But when it comes to temporary illness like colds, he doesn't have the patience!!

He's fab, brings me anything I need, looks after kids for me, and leaves me to it - which is generally what I want.

I'm shocked at some of these men too, what's the point if your own partner doesn't care? I'd feel uncomfortable in my own home.

Flings some pills at me & then goes to work.

He's lovely but invariably also 'gets sick' because he's a terrible hypochondriac. It's a running joke now!

^^^^^^^^^

This

Mine tries to be lovely but instantly starts becoming convinced he has all the same symptoms and is ill too. Even with sodding morning sickness!!

TBF to my DP he does most the householdy stuff anyway - he works fewer hours and so is home more - he still gets everything ailment I get :)

If it's serious, he's wonderful. I need to be left the fuck alone when I feel really rough & he is great at that. Less serious though, he's a bit of a pest. I was diagnosed with trigeminal neuralgia (for those fortunate enough not to know, aka the suicide disease or most painful medical condition known to mankind) - he said he had a sore face. I still bring that up! Pregnancy 2 was horrendous, I've never done anything as exhausting or difficult - he was always really tired.

Mind you, I accuse him of milking it if he's ill.

Sounds like we're fairly standard judging by the other replies!

Mine does the "I'm worried I might have the same symptoms" thing as well - he has a bit of health anxiety, I think. He's much nicer and kinder to me when I'm ill than vice versa - I was brought up in a very "stuff upper lip, pull yourself together man" sort of household, and struggle to get past that. I'm not good on sympathy.

Bloody awful. I don't get ill very often, thankfully, but whenever I've been really ill, he's crap and won't do anything to help me. Even when I had sepsis he wouldn't accept I was ill until I was admitted to hospital and wired up to IV antibiotics.

Horrible tbh, he expects everything to carry on as normal and gets irritated when I can't. If I'm off work, he thinks it's a great time for me to catch up on the housework . The idea of me staying in bed for a whole day would probably be too much for him, so I drag myself up.

He's worst when sick is involved, especially with DS who doesn't always make it to the toilet, as he just stands there telling about it going on the carpet/ furniture. Like I care when our child is suffering 😡😡😡

Oh and then of course, when he gets the same illness, it's the worst thing ever!

Belly have you actually got antibiotics? Cos you must, if not. And if they don't kick in within 48 hours get back to the docs. And have a hug. I once had an abscess on my eardrum and it's agony.

we are not super-affectionate, but he picks up ALL the slack with the housework/DC, and pops in to check on me, bringing tea and smoothies.

I'm not brilliant at sympathy, but if he's ill I'll run around for him and generally keep the plates spinning.