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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To despise putting babies to bed

82 replies

Rollonbedtime7pm · 08/08/2016 20:07

3 babies. All crap at going to sleep. Moaning, whining, rubbing eyes but fighting it til the last.
I've just walked out of the bedroom having spent the last hour attempting to get 15 week old DD2 to sleep. She's shut her eyes on numerous occasions and then shaken herself awake again.
She has a bedtime routine, as pointless as it appears to be.
WIBU to just have plans every night between 6 and 9pm?! Confused

(And also to go out and stab the neighbour who has spent the whole time angle grinding and clanging metal in the garden, which has really helped the situation)

OP posts:
MooPointCowsOpinion · 08/08/2016 20:09

Oh hello me. Bloody ridiculous isn't it.

ACatastrophicMisintepretation · 08/08/2016 20:14

Might not be helpful but I've just introduced a white noise app to my 8month old and it's been a game changer. I did it as I was spending ages cuddling and singing to sleep which I didn't mind but wanted to try and get him to learn to fall asleep on his own.
I've heard mixed reviews on white noise and never bothered until now but I honestly can't express how good it's been. I take him up when I can tell he's tired, pop him in the cot, white noise app on (womb noises), kiss and leave. He sometimes whimpers or cries a bit for 5/10 minutes and he's gone! The app I've got (free one) just plays for 1/2 an hour so I just leave it to finish. Might be coincidence but since using it he's started sleeping right through the night. Hopefully because he's learning to self soothe if he wakes.
Let me know if you want to know which app I use, it is frustrating and I do feel like I have loads more time in the evenings now; it felt like it was taking hours before

Original poster
Rollonbedtime7pm · 08/08/2016 20:14

And how irritating is the advice doled out "have a nice routine then just pop them in their cot when they're drowsy"
FFS! And where do you "pop" them when they are wild eyed and frenzied?! Angry

OP posts:
Original poster
Rollonbedtime7pm · 08/08/2016 20:16

Sorry, wasn't meaning that "pop" at you - crossed post!

I have tried white noise. Useless here.

OP posts:
Drbint · 08/08/2016 20:17

I tried the white noise. It did fuck all. My son is just a shite sleeper and always has been. Still love him to bits, just wish he'd fucking sleep through like everyone else's kids!

Kalispera · 08/08/2016 20:18

I still hate bedtime now and they're 6 and 4. It was fine until the 6 year old started wanting to read some of her story and now I sit there, silently screaming, while she says a word approximately every 90 seconds.

CaramelPrincess · 08/08/2016 20:18

I'm completely with you here - DS is bathed and fed at 6.30 and meant to be asleep at. 7pm. I've literally just come downstairs. And now I have to cook tea Confused I hate evenings!

EvansAndThePrince · 08/08/2016 20:19

Just spent an hour and 3/4 getting my 16 MONTH old to sleep Angry drowsy...eyes shutting...shake awake shake awake!!!

Binkybix · 08/08/2016 20:19

I used to get a sense of dread that built up throughout the day. We seem to have turned a corner thankfully but I never get complacent. My sympathies. It's awful and people with good sleepers JUST DON'T GET IT!

Gardencentregroupie · 08/08/2016 20:20

Putting my DD down 'drowsy but awake' inevitably led to picking her up 'wide awake and screaming her head off with unbridled fury'. After 4 months I gave up and let her sleep on my knee until I went to bed. At 9 months I was able to put her down 'fast asleep' and get away with it, which was an improvement.

Lweji · 08/08/2016 20:22

Do you put her on her back?
Have you tried swaddling?

My DS used to sleep so much better on his tummy (and I did let him on occasion when I was ready to shoot myself - and then watched him like a hawk, but at least it was quiet and he did sleep) and I remember him waving around when trying to sleep as if something was missing. I didn't know about swaddling then, but apparently it doesn't let them shake themselves awake.

DS still gives a shake just as he falls asleep, which is rather funny.

ACatastrophicMisintepretation · 08/08/2016 20:23

Ha ha, no offence taken... I didn't realise I'd become one of those woman who "pop" their babies into bed but apparently I have!! Agree that "popping" is not what you're do if with a screaming, red faced, angry little person- maybe dumping is more appropriate??

So sorry the white noise doesn't work; I really thought it was a miracle but must just be lucky. Hope your baby gets the memo about sleeping really soon

Champagneformyrealfriends · 08/08/2016 20:25

My DD has a routine.

It involves screaming like she's being murdered the second she's put down on the bed to be changed into her Pajamas. And for an hour before that come to think of if.

I fucking hate bed time.

beachbaby18 · 08/08/2016 20:25

Two children who are non sleepers!

Constantly exhausted and feel like I have a permanent hangover from lack of sleep.

19 month old is now co sleeping as couldn't cope with getting up and down all night but he wakes up EVERY night between 3-5am!!!!! Getting him to sleep in the first place is an achievement if I manage it in an hour but sometimes takes two hours of breast feeding, singing lullabies or telling stories only for him to look at me wide awake and smile!!!!

I have no social life either past 7pm!

LBOCS2 · 08/08/2016 20:26

No, I loathe it. And I find myself counting down to it at the same time. 3.9yo DD1 is still cuddled to sleep by one of us, so I'm trying to avoid that with DD2.

We put DD2 on her tummy. She rolls now (freak baby; she's been doing it since she was 14 weeks!) so I'm more comfortable with it but I've done it since about day two. It really really helps but it's really really frowned upon.

NickNacks · 08/08/2016 20:26

Possibly you're leaving it a bit kate and they are over tired. Certainy much harder when they are. Wide eyed and frenzied could suggest this. Not having a pop just a thought.

LBOCS2 · 08/08/2016 20:27

(That made it sound like she self settles. She doesn't - I put her down ASLEEP on her tummy. But this way she stays asleep...)

GettingScaredNow · 08/08/2016 20:27

Mine are 4 and almost 2. Am still fighting them to sleep most nights!
4 yr old is just about getting it! Goes down without too much fuss but you have to follow a routine to the absolute letter. Otherwise she's calling at 11pm 'mummy. I didn't have any water...' Angry

The 2 yr old... I still rock him to sleep! Blush cos it's the only way! He flatly refuses to sleep train. Screams til he is sick. There was a short period of time where he went down without too much fuss, only to wake 2 hours later and play til 3am. Then he started screaming til vomitting again.
I give up. Cuddles and rocking it is til he can talk and I can bloody well explain it all to him!!

Not helpful I know, but thanks for the vent!!

Champagneformyrealfriends · 08/08/2016 20:28

LBOCS2 Everything is frowned upon in my experience. DD sleeps with her little face pressed right up against the fabric of her co sleeper. We move her away, she moves back. We gave up moving her in the end-the way I see it if she can get there then she can get away.

CathFromCooberPedy · 08/08/2016 20:29

I sometimes hold my 10 month old until she falls asleep on the nights l can't be arsed with it. I also turn the ceiling fan on to drown out other noise.

I also limit her naps as I'd rather her cranky at 5pm and asleep at 7pm.

But truthfully l try not to think about it until it's time as it can be soul destroying.

Lweji · 08/08/2016 20:30

NickNacks has a point.

I noticed later that DS cried when he wanted to sleep but couldn't for some reason.
At some point his bed routine involved at least 5 min of a good cry, with me patting him every minute or so, but it still involved a huge "I'm being murdered" cry for a few minutes.
Not sure how to tell when they're tired, though.

overwhelmed34 · 08/08/2016 20:37

Oh it's the worst isn't it! I'm often sitting with dd 3.9 until after 9 when she's finally asleep... whilst my fb friends with babies and toddlers are posting pictures of wine and what tv they are watching. One day I tell myself, I will tuck her in, say goodnight, close the door and that will be it. One day..

Original poster
Rollonbedtime7pm · 08/08/2016 20:39

Thanks all - glad it's not just me!

I'm sure she is overtired; unfortunately as she is complaining and eye rubbing from the moment she wakes from her late nap (around 4:45) I can't quite work out her optimum window of opportunity for bedtime!

Frustrated today as have been mostly successfully instigating a nap routine so she has slept loads more than usual but still knackered by 5pm!

I know from the other 2 that this won't be forever (she is actually the best of the 3!) but doesn't stop the red mist when she's hollering...

OP posts:
Petal40 · 08/08/2016 20:41

Omg...bless you all...this sounds horrendous ...not meaning to sound sumg or get yr backs up...I've had 4 ...from day one it was bed at 7 after supper bath story....even new born I did this with..I had them all in the same routine..3 under 3....they all slept through from about 8 weeks...but I did a dream feed about 11 pm with the babies.i think that helped them sleep through....I was so scared of not having kids that slept I was meticulous with the routine...I also dropped daytime naps at 18 ish months..I kept them very busy and active as toddlers...and babies had morning nap only from quite early ish on...I always put them to bed with full tummies.and they were all on 3 smallish bits of food at meal times from 4 months...hope that helps someone ,anyone...I'm so sorry it horrendous for you guys x

x2boys · 08/08/2016 20:44

Babies were easy for me six yr oldd with autism however a whole different ball game especially during summer holidays i could cheerfully kill loud people talking in their own garden and dh creaking on the stairs as he comes up to have a wee i feel your painAngry