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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To despise putting babies to bed

82 replies

Rollonbedtime7pm · 08/08/2016 20:07

3 babies. All crap at going to sleep. Moaning, whining, rubbing eyes but fighting it til the last.
I've just walked out of the bedroom having spent the last hour attempting to get 15 week old DD2 to sleep. She's shut her eyes on numerous occasions and then shaken herself awake again.
She has a bedtime routine, as pointless as it appears to be.
WIBU to just have plans every night between 6 and 9pm?! Confused

(And also to go out and stab the neighbour who has spent the whole time angle grinding and clanging metal in the garden, which has really helped the situation)

OP posts:
applesvpears · 08/08/2016 22:31

My 5 month old doesn't go down till 10pm. And prior to that she is a mixture of irritable and excited/happy. She doesn't sleep much during the day and I think she gets over tired. Was also hoping for advice on this !

applesvpears · 08/08/2016 22:32

She does sleep through the night though. So I am lucky !

Lightbulbon · 08/08/2016 22:40

It's 10.35 and mine is still up fighting sleep, looking gone but then waking up as soon as he goes in the cot!

cornishglos · 08/08/2016 22:41

2 hours putting 9mo down tonight. Then I found

cornishglos · 08/08/2016 22:41

Oops. Then I found the 2yo asleep on the floor...

MermaidTears · 08/08/2016 22:44

Yep pretty much! We all have dinner, then I feel really chilled and look forward to the next few hours of watching TV, sitting chatting in the garden, doing colouring in etc...then when time is ticking on abit, say maybe 8ish or later in summer, we all go upstairs, kids go in their own rooms with book or whatever, and I say, go asleep in ten minutes please. I usually potter about or chat to them, then leave them to it. Always asleep within half hour (when I check) and wake themselves up every morning before my alarm so they have clearly self regulated. It feels like reverse psychology to me haha! They don't feel the pressure or the mounting anxiety I used to have of...I need to get these kids to sleep, sitting in dark rooms stroking backs etc. It was too stressful.

MermaidTears · 08/08/2016 22:49

I don't dread the evenings because to be quite honest years ago it played a part in my anxiety and depression, I could feel it building as the hours went towards 'that time's at night. Now me and dp don't care if they are downstairs with us later than they should be because we just don't give a fuck, it's not the end of the world to us.

HSMMaCM · 08/08/2016 22:51

It gets better. My 17 year old normally only wakes once a night now Grin. Fortunately she only disturbs dh and not me.

EnglishGirlApproximately · 08/08/2016 23:03

fusion have you kidnapped my ds? 4yo here too and endless bloody yapping every night. His latest smart arse trick is to repeat every sentence of the short you're reading but make it the opposite I.e. 'Bob went up the hill' ds - 'Bob didn't go up the hill' 'is that funny mummy, is it larious' aaarrghh. On the plus side he has a lovely lie in till 5 every day If anyone has the holy grail of sleep please pass it on I'm on 4.5 years of surviving in a zombie like state.

Vickyyyy · 09/08/2016 01:54

I used to love putting babies to bed. Both of mine settled within minutes. DD slept through the night from birth too, though DS woke for feeds but always settled easily afterwards...

Don't hate me though..as I now go through at least an hours worth of oscar winning screeching and broken drawers and such, complete with nappy flinging and bangs that sound like the ceiling is caving in every night

Give me a whinging baby any day rather than these demons my otherwise cute cherubs turn into once the word bed time is uttered Angry

OlennasWimple · 09/08/2016 02:46

Don't worry, once they get to about six you can leave them in their room with a book to read - only five more years to go....

Flowers
londonrach · 09/08/2016 02:58

Ive discovered ignoring her whilst mntting works better than rocking and singing badly to her....mind you still takes time! Hoping she can gondown in a minute now as she started to sleep from when i started to read this post...😴😴😴😴😴💤💤💤 (hoping)

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 09/08/2016 03:10

YANBU.

DS1 - nightmare to get to sleep once we stopped co-sleeping; every night I'd go and sit with him in his room, feed him, put him in the cot, all in the dark, all in silence and THEN DH would decide that HIS need to say goodnight to me outweighed any other fucking consideration of any fucking thing at all, and open the door, come in and disturb us. Light from the hall into the room, noise, me waving frantically and furiously had zero fucking effect because HE needed to say goodnight.

Still not quite sure how he survived that period, actually.

Lweji · 09/08/2016 09:27

I once realised that a good giggle before bed/nap also helped.
It needs to be short and then followed by quiet time. I think it tires them and releases endorphins or something similar that relaxes them.
One time I did that it was dramatic and under the disapproving eyes of my parents, but DS fell asleep very quickly after struggling for one hour before.

MooPointCowsOpinion · 09/08/2016 09:51

Lewji I always do that too, if my youngest is fighting bed we have a tickle fight and kisses and silliness and then I do a big sigh and snuggle her up, and she goes all calm.

AlphaVTango · 09/08/2016 10:18

My 2 year old has slept through from about 6 months. Now at bedtime he says goodnight, walks to his bed and puts himself in and that's him for 12hrs Smile

Because he was so good we had number 2, now 7 months old - a completely different situation. Fights sleep, doesn't want to be put down but doesn't want to be held Hmm, completely shattered and wide eyed but won't give in to sleep. I spend most of my evenings and nights either walking with her or watching her scream in the cot. A huge shock after the first child.

Pretty sure I'm doing the same as I did with the first, trying to think positive, it's not forever - I hope!

ACatastrophicMisintepretation · 09/08/2016 15:17

StylingWax App I use is the same as mentioned by a pp. it's called Sound Sleeper, it's a free app which gives 30mins of sounds (there's about 15 to choose from for varying ages) or you can pay for the full version - £3 -which gives unlimited time and also has an option to "listen" in and start up automatically if baby stirs. I haven't upgraded yet as the 1/2 hour is enough to get my son to sleep and he doesn't seem to need it in the background once he is asleep. I'm going to pay for the upgrade though just to say thanks to the designers of it!

I was looking at getting Ewan myself until I read a review that said it was cheaper to get an app so I thought id try that first. I have an old iPhone so that just stays in his room with the app all loaded, turned off wifi etc so I don't have to worry about leaving it in the cot if necessary

bigarse1 · 09/08/2016 15:43

can I join in? I have 5 children, first 3 all slept fine (not perfect, took a lot of work but ok). then the twins arrived. just turned 3 they have now been diagnosed with a sleep disorder (on top of a lot of other things). takes from 6pm til 10/11 pm for them to go to sleep, they then are awake every hour or less and are up at 4am.
they are up from 4am til 10/11pm with no nap, no rest, no nothing. we are shattered and I just grin now at the people who say well just pop them down when they are tired. they are always tired!

splendide · 09/08/2016 15:45

Bloody hell bigarse, that sounds very difficult. Hope you are able to get some help and a rest occasionally!

Crunchymum · 09/08/2016 15:49

My 19mo doesn't got to bed until 9.30pm at least and only then its if I go to bed with her and feed her to sleep.

She barely naps... she gets up early... where the fuck does she get her energy from? I am half dead from it all.

Sadly my older DC is a brilliant sleeper but its completely wasted having one brilliant sleeper when the other is awful !

bigarse1 · 09/08/2016 18:27

nope but if the kids are alright at the end of the day and ive actually remembered my name then its a good day!

geekymommy · 09/08/2016 19:39

I've got 2 lousy sleepers. I'm starting to wish I had cheated on DH with someone with no sleep problems- he has a sleep disorder and I was a terrible insomniac as a child.

DD used to take forever to get down, every night. I was finally able to get her in her own bed and sometimes even not stay with her till she falls asleep at around age 3.5. She's 4 now.

DS, age 1, has still not slept through the night without me there with him. He sleeps for an hour, tops, if no one is with him. We co-sleep, but I'd like to get him to bed before I go to bed and have a little kid-free time. I generally can't leave him to nap and do stuff then.

Right now, they've also both got ear infections. DD just got a tetanus shot, so she's probably in pain from that, too.

Fourfifthsof · 09/08/2016 19:47

My 1yo hates to sleep. Fights it and fights it, will only go to sleep after being out in the buggy and still wakes up at least twice per night between 12 and 5am. Last night was every 45 minutes until 3am then woke up to start the day at 5am. He's great at napping in the day though - everyone keeps saying to me - sort out the daytime naps and the night will be fine... I call BS. Wink

I find the only thing that helps is wine. For me, not him. And sometimes when he is having a good bellow at the unfairness of it all, I join in too. Wink

geekymommy · 09/08/2016 21:57

I miss the days BC (before children) when I could relax once dinner time came. Now, it just means the hardest part of the day is starting.

UnlikelyRunner · 09/08/2016 22:04

DS is 7 and now falls asleep quite nicely with someone sitting in the room, and lets us sleep til ooh about 5.45am Hmm . It was a long 5 years to get to this point!

Like others, I passed the infant and toddler years dreaming up ways to get revenge when he is a teenager. I favour waking him at 4am daily for weeks to tell him "I got toes!" as that's what I remember him doing aged 2.

As a baby:
Routine: useless. He had reflux. The only routine was regular puking.

White noise: if on loud enough, helped me drown out the screaming of the baby in my arms and prevented him from hearing me crying Sad

Hang in there. It's not often you hear of a 15 year old that still needs feeding to sleep or co-sleeping!