to think this isn't good enough for DS packed lunch

[getyourfingeroutyournose]

This is half AIBU and half 'I have no idea what I'm doing please help'.

So today we went to a kids group thing for DS (4) and the flier said "Bring a packed lunch for a picnic after" - YAY
The picnic side didn't actually happen for some reason but last night OH and I had a discussion regarding what the kid should have in his lunchbox (for the picnic and for lunch).
OH thinks a small peanut butter sandwich, value range small yogurt (fromage frais? like PF size pot) and a value range small cereal bar with chocolate in it will do.

I don't mind if the odd thing in his lunchbox is value or basics etc. I like the idea of saving money. I can't get on board with only having that in DS lunchbox in front of other people. We moved to a "better" area recently and everyone seems to live on Nakd bars, gluten and dairy free foods and quinoa... said KEENWAAAH dontcha know.

I'm out of my depth here. I'm of the belief that there should be some fruit, maybe carrot sticks and hummus and then a carby thing and a drink. I'm lost beyond that. I have no more ideas and I'm very aware that I'm lagging behind in this department. I've gone online and looked for recipes and ideas but the kid can be very specific about his food. He eats sushi but wouldn't dare touch pasta.

I'm very funny about food myself. I grew up with an eating disorder and I really don't want my son to have one. But how do I give him things I know he'll eat whilst keeping it balanced and healthy whilst not singling him out at lunchtime by giving him a lot of cheap food whilst the other kids have more e? Or am I trying to do too much

That last paragraph mucked up a bit. Sorry, sausage fingers over here.

Its meant to read:

"I'm very funny about food myself. I grew up with an eating disorder and I really don't want my son to have one. But how do I give him things I know he'll eat whilst keeping it balanced and healthy whilst not singling him out at lunchtime by giving him a lot of cheap food whilst the other kids have more expensive stuff? Or am I trying to do too much?"

Actually I wouldn't give the sandwich if anything.
If another child has an allergy it could be set off by something as innocent looking as them touching hands or sharing a cup after lunch.
Much safer to stick to cheese, ham or tuna.
Add a piece or 2 of fruit and it sounds a lovely picnic lunch.

Just give him a variety of things he likes- a sandwich, a drink, a yoghurt, some veg sticks and a biscuit or something. I don't see why you are getting hung up on what other people do and the 'value range' stuff? If he likes it, give it to him, whether it's value range or not. I didn't realise lunchbox one-upmanship and snobbery was a 'thing'!

Via the peanut butter i mean.

Bread/roll/pitra/wrap/bagel with various fillings
Fruit/veg sticks
Yoghurt
Homebaked mini muffin/flapjack etc
Bottle of water

That's usually what DDs consists of.

Honestly, its just a packed lunch, no need for keeenwaaaah salads and maki rolls.

I hate spending money on stuff marketed at kids packed lunches. Mine has:
Sandwiches (cheese or peanut butter - sandwich thins are easy)
Houmous and breadsticks
Satsumas and grapes
Babybel when it's on offer
Value yoghurts
Raisins
A biscuit (value rich tea or digestive)

The only thing noticeably 'value' in there is the yoghurt.

Dd isn't at school yet but has a sandwich dinner sometimes. I do:

Sandwich ham/cheese
Cheese blocks (she loves cheese)
Some fruit. Usually two.
Half a packet of crisps

You're worrying too much. Think what your child will eat, think what a balanced meal looks like. Make an approximation between the two.
Drop the peanut butter- fine at home, but no nursery or school can allow it, due to other children's allergies. Nutfree everything for packed lunches, I'm afraid.

Sausage fingers... yes. Quorn cocktail sausages go down well!
Also scones.

And cherry tomatoes.

I would pack what your dh said but prob swap cereal bar for a satsuma and drink would be tesco value pure fruit juice carton. I don't care what people think. If kids it it then great

I agree. Peanut butter is a minefield. You can buy Naked bars in Home Bargains, if you're bothered (I wouldn't be). But yes, change the sandwich, stick a banana in and it sounds fine.

Four year olds don't know how much stuff costs. And don't the value things have less sugar/salt in them anyway?

Hard boiled egg?

But if you are worried about 'value' labels, decant everything into little pots though, honestly, even people with lots of money buy 'value' ranges.

1. how do you think they stay 'rich'? 2) value ranges usually have least salt/sugar/fat, so better for you

Add a piece of fruit, bits of cucumber and it's perfect. Just take with you what he has for lunch at home?

I wouldn't say that there is much wrong with what your OH would put in if that is what your child will eat.

Check though that there isn't a no nuts policy in place to protect children with nut allergies. Schools and pre-schools often have those policies.

Add a little fresh or dried fruit in and there is nothing too far wrong with it.

I would add the odd packet of crisps mini cheddars for filling up. Flapjack or cereal bars can also be good.

Ds is 12 & a fussy eater. He goes to private school (I only mention that as it may be relevant as you mention being in a "better" area.

His lunchbox consists of:
Philadelphia sandwich or pitta bread or wrap or a
Dairylea dunker or a packet of crisps
Carrot sticks or cucumber or grapes or a combination
Value fromage frais (so he won't be teased for kiddy branding. )
Rice Krispy cereal bar or kit Kat or supermarket/value equivalent

I can't get on board with only having that in DS lunchbox in front of other people. We moved to a "better" area recently

I can't see how other 4 yr olds would give a shit about it tbh. As long as it is healthy and balanced.

Hi op...first of all I don't think lunchbox food needs to be expensive to be healthy. A bag of value apples for a quid or a bunch of bananas or cut up carrot sticks or cucumber are not expensive.

Your husband's idea of a packed lunch sounded fine to me...though I'd probably put in a piece of fruit as well. I'd also go for another sandwich filling rather than peanut butter because if there's other kids around some may have nut allergies. I think some schools tell parents not to put nut products in packed lunches for this reason.

My dd takes a packed lunch to school...I give her

A tuna/ham sandwich
Cut up cucumber
Piece of fruit
Yoghurt/cheese cubes
A biscuit/small cake

Oh and I wouldn't stress about 'value range" yoghurts! Anyone who'd judge you for this wouldn't be worth knowing anyway!

Hth

We put peanut butter sandwiches in packed lunches. Some schools have rules about it (ours doesn't) but if you're doing something in your own time you can take what you like as long as you're not told of any allergies. My son has just gone out to kids camp with a bag of pistachio nuts in his lunch box.

2 of mine at football camp today - they had 1 sandwich (chicken for one - tuna the other) a banana, an apple, 2 penguins, 2 fruit shoots (hahaha!) 1 apple juice drink, a yoghurt and a pack of crisps

for schools they would get the same but with one drink, one piece of fruit and 1 penguin

He doesn't normally eat sandwiches to be honest. Duly noted about PB being allergen. I don't normally let him have it around other kids as I don't know who is or who isn't allergic and it's not worth a reaction in my book.
I wouldn't care if nobody looked at his lunchbox but someone actually asked DS once if "Mummy needed help with money and food" because he had a cheapo yogurt and some breadsticks with cheese rather than the bento box her child had... I think it stuck with me. I'm not rich but I don't need to feel like I'm failing my son because he chose breadsticks with soft cheese that day :S
The woman never said it to me, she said it to my son in front of all of his friends. I know they are young but he picked up on it and asked for "better food next time".
I remember being the same as a kid when everyone else got Sunny D and Lunchables (back when they first came out) and my mum sent me in with food I didn't even like let alone the cool stuff everyone else had.
I get that I'm probably overthinking it. I don't want to but it's not easy to forget when someone else does that to your child.

Actually I wouldn't give the sandwich if anything.
If another child has an allergy it could be set off by something as innocent looking as them touching hands or sharing a cup after lunch.
Much safer to stick to cheese, ham or tuna

you do know kids can be allergic to anything don't you?

the smears of dairy from the cheese spread or butter and egg from the mayo mixed with tuna is equally as dangerous and probably more likely.

it is a bit if a rubbish lunch. could use some fruit amd perhaps sone hummus or some cubes s of cheese and some cucumber sticks or something

I personally don't think there is much difference between value range and more expensive stuff if you look at the ingredients. My ds lunch is normally similar plus fruit. Today he had peanut butter and soft cheese sandwich, cereal bar, a few dried dates and figs, a few nuts, a slice of melon an apple and a banana. What he doesn't eat for lunch he'll eat on the way home.

My youngest eats so much food, and I send her with all different things, usually leftovers from last night's dinner! If there's a microwave some leftover spag Bol, chilli, curry, all works well. Cocktail sausages, cheese sticks, cucumber sticks, bread sticks, crisps, biscuits, banana, satsuma.

Rarely she might have a sandwich or a wrap. Nothing that might cause an allergic reaction to those around her.

Just put whatever you have in a box that he will eat. You must feed him lunch when he's home, what does he eat then?