to think this isn't good enough for DS packed lunch

[getyourfingeroutyournose]

This is half AIBU and half 'I have no idea what I'm doing please help'.

So today we went to a kids group thing for DS (4) and the flier said "Bring a packed lunch for a picnic after" - YAY
The picnic side didn't actually happen for some reason but last night OH and I had a discussion regarding what the kid should have in his lunchbox (for the picnic and for lunch).
OH thinks a small peanut butter sandwich, value range small yogurt (fromage frais? like PF size pot) and a value range small cereal bar with chocolate in it will do.

I don't mind if the odd thing in his lunchbox is value or basics etc. I like the idea of saving money. I can't get on board with only having that in DS lunchbox in front of other people. We moved to a "better" area recently and everyone seems to live on Nakd bars, gluten and dairy free foods and quinoa... said KEENWAAAH dontcha know.

I'm out of my depth here. I'm of the belief that there should be some fruit, maybe carrot sticks and hummus and then a carby thing and a drink. I'm lost beyond that. I have no more ideas and I'm very aware that I'm lagging behind in this department. I've gone online and looked for recipes and ideas but the kid can be very specific about his food. He eats sushi but wouldn't dare touch pasta.

I'm very funny about food myself. I grew up with an eating disorder and I really don't want my son to have one. But how do I give him things I know he'll eat whilst keeping it balanced and healthy whilst not singling him out at lunchtime by giving him a lot of cheap food whilst the other kids have more e? Or am I trying to do too much

Those expensive healthy stuff taste horrible for normal children! My ds has those because he is allergic to lots of thing and no choice. When children came over and if I offer those gluten free stuff, they won't touch it! Packed lunch should be about balanced diet not the price.

Art sounds like a great lunch for your Dc's but is lacking in carbs? They need carbs for energy!

nowt wrong with quinoa...

DD1 (8) has packed lunch. At nut free school.

She usually has a wrap (Cheese and salad, or chicken and salad, etc depending on what is on hand), some greek yogurt and fresh fruit in a lidded container (that I make up cause I hate how all the kids yogurts are chokka with added sugar, colourings etc and she loves what I make - which is rare).

Then she will have something else - usually a piece of fruit - apple, banana, pear, or I make popcorn and she takes some of that.

If she is going on a trip I'll add a juice and YoYo Bear or something.

No sweets or crisps allowed.

DD2 has free school dinners - yay!

I used to "Care more" about packed lunches until I realised some vital home truths:
DD just wants to wolf down her lunch asap so she can go and play;
I was putting to much in there in the name of diversity;
So much was coming home uneaten;
She actually likes a wrap everyday and will let me know if she fancies a change;
all those items marketed as "school lunch" stuff are BS - I use sandwich wrap and make little parcels for dried apricots etc - they don't need their own tiny expensive bag;
it's just lunch - carby sandwich type thing, plus fruit/yoghurt is pretty good.

Slightly OT, but on the allergies thing and feeling sorry for the kids who you couldn't share the treats with... as the mother of a child with allergies, I much prefer that situation when it comes to home baked things, where I or the nursery staff can't read the label. How can I know that you have read all the labels of all the ingredients properly (dairy in particular is in the most unlikely of places), or didn't add jam that had a buttery knife put it in earlier, or have quite simply misunderstood or made a mistake (like the cafe that told me a cake was dairy and egg free, when in reality it was dairy and gluten free - causing DD2's lips to swell up rather alarmingly after one tiny bite).

I'm much much happier providing a little packed treat instead (I keep frozen cupcakes for emergencies), and knowing that nobody else has to stress about cross-contamination or catering for multiple allergies.

Jw - cashews are full of carbs, about 30g per 100g. I don't think every meal has to full of carbs. The same day they had porridge with banana and pecans for breakfast, and a beef curry with rice and vegetables for dinner so I think that's plenty of carbs for 5 years olds over 24hrs.

I'd love to give the dc a very naice bento box, but instead I give them stuff that they'll eat and that I can prepare quickly: a sandwich (often marmite, sometimes cheese or meat), a piece of fruit or small pot of grapes or berries, a biscuit (own brand kitkat equivalent) or pack of crisps. Water to drink. That's pretty standard fare around here... Not at all a deprived area. There are some parents who provide more elaborate lunches but each to their own.

Kippers, quick prep is kinda what I'm after. Sadly I have a demon child who doesn't like marmite (Not sure if that means he isn't really my son or??)

Stop beating yourself up.

It's lunch. In a box.

Put food in it, real food, not ad man's food and see if your child eats it. If not, keep experimenting.

Ignore all the thoughts about what other people think. It's all a load of bollocks.

They aren't judges in the Perfect Parent competition and you didn't enter, did you?

Oh btw that pic is a bento box.

Short for Benton driving us all insane with feelings of inadequacy.

Mine would have hummus and ham sandwich in a wrap or granary roll (only because he doesnt like white bread

Or
Pasta with pesto and tomato/cucumber/feta cheese

Carrots and hummus and some berries
He has a milk allergy so cant do yoghurt etc.
Dont overthink it.

The issue with nut allergy over milk/gluten/lactose is that the dust from nuts, in particular peanuts, can trigger anaphylaxis. Gluten etc generally has to be physically touched/ingested to cause a reaction.

I suffer with dairy allergy, lactose intolerance and an anaphylactic reaction to chilli pepper. The chilli in particular requires me to have an epi pen as even talking to someone who has eaten them can cause me to react.

My Dd starts back at school next week and after years of being on school dinners she wants to go on to packed lunches. She says that her friends packed lunches are full of crisps, biscuits and adult sized portions of pasta. I've told her that no way will that be happening and if she wants to go on to packed lunches then she'll be getting a chicken/turkey sandwich/roll or lean ham salad wrap along with a peice of fruit and ONE savoury or sweet snack along with bottle of water/flavoured water. She's happy with this but I'm sick of other parents sending their kids in with crap for their lunch as they're directly or indirectly influencing my dd food choices.

DD1 is 3 so doesn't often have a packed lunch as she's not at pre-school long enough but what she has at home for lunch will be pretty much what she has if she decides she wants a packed lunch when she starts school.

So a normal lunch usually consists of:
Some sort of 'sandwich' - this includes wholemeal bread/thins/wrap/pitta with a filling such as ham, turkey, chicken & mayo, tuna, peanut butter, cheese, very occasionally jam.
Cherry/Plum tomatoes or cucumber
Some sort of fruit - banana, berries, apple, pear, grapes, melon etc
Small pot of yogurt.

Eggs give her stomach ache so I avoid those on their own - shame as that limits quite a few options, she's fine if they're an ingredient in something. Apart from tomatoes and cucumber (and even cucumber can be a bit hit and miss) she doesn't really like 'salad' - won't touch lettuce or onions etc but hopefully that will change as she gets older. I often worry that it's not enough or that it's not healthy or balanced enough but this thread is reassuring.

I'd've been more worried about a shortage of fruit/veg if someone else's judgement was going to be of concern to me. which it isn't!

My 16y.o. takes value juice every day As his lunch. I have no intention spending 2 or 3 times as much on something just so it doesn't come in a white carton.
Doesn't bother him. Actually, when OH picked up branded ones the other week because HE was having a smartprice wobble, the kid said they didn't taste as good!

We try to mix it up a bit so he's not always taking regular sandwiches. Savoury pastries, crackers/cocktail and an accompaniment, cocktail sausages, cold slices of pizza are a favourite (if we're making our own, I usually make an extra bit of dough and knock up a few pizza pockets/calzones. Swap the usual red sauce for green pesto & chuck in some shredded cooked chicken & cheese - delicious!)

As for the value bar? If you're that worried about it, take it out the wrapper and parcel it up in some greaseproof, if anyone asks; either you made it yourself or be suitably vague as to which high class artisan patisserie it came from...

I'm a bit [shocked] at the overheard snide remark, what a ridiculous comment to make!

Crackers/BREADSTICKS and accompaniment...
Clearly I don't send him to school with a mojito.

Value stuff is fine in my book, I would probably pack a bit more than your dh suggests though and definitely a drink.

My two usually have a pretty mixed bag of healthy and unhealthy. A sandwich (usually ham, cheese etc although sometimes Nutella ), a bottle of water, a decent wedge of melon, a packet of crisps / rice cakes affair, a yoghurt or frube type thing and then another price of fruit (apple, pear, plum or whatever we have going at home).

I loved this post.... We are quinoa eaters but my DD (4) has specific requirements for packed lunches. She wants a sandwich - quite plain usually cheese or ham, a small pot of cherry tomatoes, cucumber, peppers and olives ( she loves olives), a piece of fruit, and then either a tube yoghurt, with a treat ( packet of mini biscuits or homemade flapjack). She also loves plain rice cakes, organix bars, hummus. As long as they have enough to eat and you vary it up it doesn't matter about the branding. ( I know some kids get sent with a mars bar and a can of red bull). I certainly don't give up my Nakd bars ( too expensive for a start) but if you can be bothered Nakd style bars are Really easy to make if you have a food processor. ( they're just dates and nuts and raw cocoa )

DS has a sandwich, two bits of fruit/veg and either a yogurt or cereal bar or crisps on a Friday.
I really don't think kids this age would notice "value" range. They'd just be impressed with the choc chips.

I've found this very useful:
healthy-kids.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/Lunchbox-V2.pdf

What your OH suggested would be okay if it also had some fruit or veg. Mine always have cucumber/tomatoes/celery/carrot sticks etc and or a piece of fruit in theirs.