to think this isn't good enough for DS packed lunch

[getyourfingeroutyournose]

This is half AIBU and half 'I have no idea what I'm doing please help'.

So today we went to a kids group thing for DS (4) and the flier said "Bring a packed lunch for a picnic after" - YAY
The picnic side didn't actually happen for some reason but last night OH and I had a discussion regarding what the kid should have in his lunchbox (for the picnic and for lunch).
OH thinks a small peanut butter sandwich, value range small yogurt (fromage frais? like PF size pot) and a value range small cereal bar with chocolate in it will do.

I don't mind if the odd thing in his lunchbox is value or basics etc. I like the idea of saving money. I can't get on board with only having that in DS lunchbox in front of other people. We moved to a "better" area recently and everyone seems to live on Nakd bars, gluten and dairy free foods and quinoa... said KEENWAAAH dontcha know.

I'm out of my depth here. I'm of the belief that there should be some fruit, maybe carrot sticks and hummus and then a carby thing and a drink. I'm lost beyond that. I have no more ideas and I'm very aware that I'm lagging behind in this department. I've gone online and looked for recipes and ideas but the kid can be very specific about his food. He eats sushi but wouldn't dare touch pasta.

I'm very funny about food myself. I grew up with an eating disorder and I really don't want my son to have one. But how do I give him things I know he'll eat whilst keeping it balanced and healthy whilst not singling him out at lunchtime by giving him a lot of cheap food whilst the other kids have more e? Or am I trying to do too much

I've not been told that any child in ds school has nut allergy. He has nuts most days and I've never been asked not to give them to him.

I was thinking about decanting everything into little pots but I don't think it's worth the hassle. The more I read the replies the more annoyed I get at how I let the woman win and make me paranoid about it. I'm not exactly setting a good example to DS am I :S

I think I'm going to stick with what he has but make it more about fresh fruit and veg where I can and put a treat in every now and then. The nursery aren't bothered about what he has but I have no organisational skills so creating a huge bento box filled with other worldly delights only for it not to get eaten would probably destroy what little good mental health I have left.

Thanks for the suggestions. I might buy the bigger value yoghurts to wind the woman up now. He does love his yogurt!

Peanut butter sandwich on Hovis wheatgerm bread (the top crust cut off, long story!!!), a Cadburys Mini Roll (left over from Easter), a purple Babybel round thing, some sultanas in a little tiny tupperware dish and half my banana) That's what 6 year old DN had on Sunday when we went out for the day. Plus a packet of Monster Munch in the car coming home. Not the worst (and I'm not losing sleep over the Monster Munch either), then he ate chicken curry with spinach in it for tea. (i had a Mini roll for pudding after when he was in the bath). His favourite is Wholegrain wraps with cream cheese and ham cut into pinwheels and fastened with cherry tomatoes and pineapple on cocktail sticks, funny boy.

I wouldn't care if nobody looked at his lunchbox but someone actually asked DS once if "Mummy needed help with money and food" because he had a cheapo yogurt and some breadsticks with cheese rather than the bento box her child had... I think it stuck with me. I'm not rich but I don't need to feel like I'm failing my son because he chose breadsticks with soft cheese that day

Look at it this way. As crude as it sounds.

Food is food. Whether cheapy value range or expensive bento box, it all ends up being digested the same way and crapped out the same way.

I think what you would give is fine if you add some fruit and a drink. Don't worry about using value stuff. If you worry about tiny things like that then you will have so many bigger things to worry about in the future.

Be confident and don't try to 'Keep up with the Joneses' because they are not worth it. Your LO is 4, give him something you know he will eat and please, please don't get into a competition about food with other mums.

You will be fine if you trust your instinct and ignore the marketing pressure. The other 4 year old's don't know if their food is value brand or flown in on the back of a rainbow unicorn.

I would love to give him hot meals like he has at home at lunchtime so he can have an easier dinner when he gets home. Sounds old ladyish but I prefer to eat that way too.
Not sure if nursery has time to microwave his dinners for him. He prefers to eat his hot meals when they are stone cold though... Might be a bit gross but if he eats it right?

I try to do: carb, protein, fruit, veg, dairy & small treat. E.g. ham sandwich, cucumber sticks, strawberries, yoghurt & a fruit string. Or tuna pasta salad with lots of chopped up veg, chopped up apple, cheese cubes & miniature cake.

Train your LO to respond to if "Mummy needed help with money and food" with " no, nor does she need help with good manners"
Just a thought...

The only judgement I have ever heard about value contents of a packed lunch for DC is at secondary school level.

One of the lads had snackrite crisps and had the piss taken mercilessly apparently. I am friends with his Mother and they are not remotely hard up she just likes a bargain.

As a comparison when ds's private junior school went on a trip they provided a packed lunch consisting of:

Cheese, ham or tuna sandwich
Packet of crisps
Chocolate biscuit bar
Apple or orange
Carton of juice

My main concern about that lunch is that it's absolutely tiny. I know children vary in how hungry they are but if my ds had had a 'hungry day' even at that age there is no way that would have been enough. Much better for them to bring back some uneaten stuff than for them to have had to be fed by the teachers because they've gone off on one due to hunger. A Babybel, a box of raisins, carrot sticks, an extra sandwich, all that sort of stuff.

Couldn't care less about the value side per se, but double check the actual ingredients as a lot of value stuff contains fairly low nutrition fillers - like the cereal bar for example.

I'm also pretty careful about yogurts in packed lunches because it's really easy for them to burst and ruin the entire lunch.

My mum buys snack rite crisps she says they taste nicer than walkers. She's a paper millionaire but shops at Aldi & Lidl.

Off topic, but it pisses me off tremendously when "gluten/dairy free" is presented as some kind of aspirational lifestyle choice on a par with overpriced smoothies and snack bars, and 'health' foods like kale, quinoa et al.

Whatever the "area" we might choose to live in, gluten will always poison my son. He's not eating 'gluten free' in an attempt to appear superior.

Back on topic: standard packed lunch for my two would be a tub of salad; a tub of grapes/berries; a 'main' element (could be a sandwich; or pasta, cold fritatta, hard boiled egg, cheese and crackers; heated up leftovers or soup in a Thermos); and something sweet, like a cereal bar, bun, slice of cake etc.

My main concern about that lunch is that it's absolutely tiny.

Yy!

Dd is only 3 but I'm at the people who send their children with a sandwich, piece of fruit and a biscuit.

That wouldn't fill my dd at all.

Today she had a sausage roll, strawberries, cheese and toast. She had a biscuit afterwards. Not the healthiest option maybe but filling for her

Fine but I would include some fruit or veg sticks in addition.

Need...That is very very true.

He has a cup of water or squash with everything which he will happily have just that for the entire day.
We normally eat things like grilled chicken and veg (green beans are a fave) and often he'll love some mash and peas. We are never out of peas.
We don't have a huge amount of options right now as both OH and I are trying to diet so it's only healthy options for us atm. I do add extras for littleun because he needs to add to his stores rather than deplete them
I really would like to just be able to chuck in a few things and run him to nursery and go and have a few hours to myself though.

If you are bothered about what people think then take the stuff out of the wrapper/remove the label or only put in homemade food.

As for content, we usually go for a sandwich/wrap/bread based thing with cheese/meat/tuna/mackerel. 2 pieces of fruit e.g. some raisins or other dried fruit such as apricots or grapes/a banana/a small orange/apple etc etc. a treat of some kind e.g. biscuit/cereal bar/cake/crisps and something else such as sausage rolls/mini scotch eggs/crackers & cheese/chicken drumstick or whatever, probably would have been a yoghurt or jelly when they were younger. Mine are teenagers now though but have had a packed lunch since they were 5.

Need I would say that was quite healthy... I mean, I'm clearly no expert here but you have fruit dairy and much needed carbs at her age and a bit of protein too... what's not to love about that?

The best result I ever had was once I went to waitrose and found some reduced lemon soul breaded goujons... I cooked them and gave them to him cold for his lunchbox and the nursery said he was all over them. He LOVES fish. Strange child I know but I purposely bought a similar (cheaper) version from another store. They're basically like more expensive fish fingers but they hold together better and look like chicken dippers or something. He loves them. They're also not processed (according to the packaging) which makes me feel like I'm in the healthy zone with them.

Thought it was the combination of sausage roll AND toast made it a bit unhealthy

Occasionally as part of my work I am at an expensive private nursery - fairly posh intake - just as the children are starting their packed lunches. Some have quite fancy food, some have very basic 'value' type food. I doubt whether any of the children notice or care what the others have.

One of my DDs loved having cold baked potato wedges for lunch at infant school. Nothing with them, no dips, no salad. Goodness knows what the staff thought but nobody ever commented to me.

Children's food should never be competitive.

Your lunch sounds absolutely fine and wouldn't raise any eyebrows around here at all! Stick in some fresh fruit/veg and it is perfect.
I don't think it's tiny, either. It's exactly what I would pack for my dcs.

And don't worry about the bento box brigade with star shaped mini sandwiches. They have nothing better to do than make bento boxes all day, update their yummy mummy blog and feel smug.

I really don't think that's a "tiny" lunch at all for a 4 year old I remember being told their stomach is the size of their fist and they really don't need more than that.
My active and sporty 9 year old DS school lunch is usually a cheese or ham sandwich, pot of grapes/berries and an apple, yoghurt and either a packet of crisps or a flapjack/oaty bar type thing plus a carton of juice. That keeps him going perfectly well from 12 till he's home at 4/4.15, he's not ravenous then either. Sometimes one item will come home uneaten. A couple of oatcakes with peanut butter or cheese and he's fine till tea at 6.

OP ignore the snobby cows that are judging on lunch boxes (if she really said that, she is a cow) and give him a balanced lunch that he will enjoy.

DS has a sandwich (cheese or ham), a piece of fruit, a yoghurt tube like this www.yeovalley.co.uk/things-we-make/for-children/little-yeos-raspberry-tubes (no spoon to lose and marginally less sugar than PF maybe), some cherry tomatoes or cucumber sticks and a drink.

Any more than that and he doesn't eat it.

mulitvac, this annoys me too. I was forced to go through the obligatory two weeks without gluten or dairy to find out what allergy I had when I was a teen. It was dreadful. I'm hoping they have expanded the food since then but the prices are stupid. Kids can't help being allergic to something yet a dairy and gluten free option is always so much more expensive than eating the same product with dairy and gluten in.