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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To refuse sex with DH until he learns hygiene

78 replies

Mousedl1 · 30/03/2016 16:32

Ok so I love my DH but his personal hygiene leaves a lot to be desired and it actually turns my stomach. He washes his hear every couple of days but I can't remember the last time he actually bathed or showered! He doesn't smell or anything but his breathe does. He doesn't clean his teeth from one day to the next and can literally go days until I flip as I have a really sensitive sense of smell.
I have tried gentle reminded etc but I have 3 kids and refuse to chase him round everyday but the smell is vulgar! Is it unreasonable to actually tell him I won't kiss or consider sex until this improves

OP posts:
Original poster
Mousedl1 · 30/03/2016 16:32

Hair not hear

OP posts:
Justmuddlingalong · 30/03/2016 16:34

Is this a new thing or has his personal hygiene always been lacking?

pinkyredrose · 30/03/2016 16:35

Yuk that is vulgar! Surely he wasn't like this when you married him!? I certainly wouldn't be able to have sex or kiss him. YANBU!

expatinscotland · 30/03/2016 16:36

I always wonder if such people were always such mingers and if so, how on Earth did they get a shag in the first place? Boak.

ohmywhatamisaying · 30/03/2016 16:36

"I love you my DH but your personal hygiene leaves a lot to be desired and it actually turns my stomach"

Does he know it bothers you, ie, have you actually said the above, or just dropped (maybe too subtle) hints?

Sometimes people need to be told clearly. If your DH is turning your stomach with his smell, then that doesn't sound like a great recipe for a happy continuing marriage..

Good luck

Original poster
Mousedl1 · 30/03/2016 16:36

When we first got together it wasn't an issue but once he moved it I noticed it more and more. I ignore him cleaning his ears with my kitty grips and leaving them everywhere filed with wax but he is getting worse we are currently on day 4 with the no teeth cleaning

OP posts:
molyholy · 30/03/2016 16:37

How does he wash his hair without getting a shower? Sounds like it would be just easier to jump in the shower. Is he depressed or something as this just doesn't seem right.

SanityClause · 30/03/2016 16:37

I'm just amazed you have managed to have sex with him the three times it took to have the DC with him, frankly!

Just let him know how it makes you feel - repulsed and disrespected, maybe? - and ask him please to pay more attention to his personal hygiene, particularly his teeth.

(Incidentally, I'm amazed his body doesn't smell if he doesn't bathe at all. Are you sure?)

Tanfastic · 30/03/2016 16:38

You tell him to clean his teeth every day and shower every day and use deodorant or you will leave him. Simple.

Original poster
Mousedl1 · 30/03/2016 16:38

I am not subtle in any way and have been blunt about the smell and I can smell from his breath he hasn't cleaned his teeth so won't sit next to him but nothing changes and it's really starting to grate on me!

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molyholy · 30/03/2016 16:38

Ewww. He sounds gross. I wouldn't want his penis anywhere near me.

liberatedwine · 30/03/2016 16:40

Ew. I couldn't be affectionate, let alone intimate, with someone with such hygiene issues.

But if his lack of cleanliness is a new thing, could he be unwell? Depressed perhaps?

flirtygirl · 30/03/2016 16:44

Nasty nasty and nasty
2nd dirty husband thread of the day that ive read, starting to think lesbians are on to a great thing

expatinscotland · 30/03/2016 16:44

So he moved in and you noticed he was a vile minger but you still married him and shagged him? I'm actually astonished.

expatinscotland · 30/03/2016 16:46

Oh, here we go with the depressed/autistic/MH problems, etc. This guy's been a minger for a while. He moved in and you noticed it because he was living your kitty grips coated with his ear wax and then you went on to marry him.

Original poster
Mousedl1 · 30/03/2016 16:47

He wasn't anywhere near as bad when we first got together and as I worked away a lot I didn't really notice but the last 6 months I am literally pulling my hair out as idiot even understand how anyone can feel ready in the morning without cleaning there teeth.
He washes his hair over the bath a lot and a couple of times recently I have accidently walked in to see if he is over the bath or actually in the shower

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Topseyt · 30/03/2016 16:47

I really would have to tell him bluntly.

Shower properly every day, at least change underwear every day, use deodorant.

Clean teeth twice a day.

I would feel awful doing it, but really couldn't put up with the smell.

Tiggywinkler · 30/03/2016 16:47

Frankly, YWBU to shag him.

Buy him a loofah and some Dettol soap.

dottycat123 · 30/03/2016 16:47

This is not normal, his genitals must stink, definitely refuse sex until he cleans up.

Roseberrry · 30/03/2016 16:48

Oh gross. Has he always been like this? Could he be depressed?

I would refuse to go anywhere near him until he cleans like a normal person. I've had a really bad experience with a smelly man though and vowed never to go back. I went to go down and found it covered in cheese never been with a stinker since!

ohmywhatamisaying · 30/03/2016 16:48

"DH, you smell like an anchovy's unwashed arse - sort it out, ta."

BastardGoDarkly · 30/03/2016 16:49

Firstly, what are kitty grips?

Secondly, no, no and thrice no fucking way could I put up with 4 days of rank breath.

Wtf is his problem?

Original poster
Mousedl1 · 30/03/2016 16:49

I DO not go down Roseberry for this very reason with him. He changes underwear everyday

OP posts:
MrsUnderwood · 30/03/2016 16:49

Gross!

expatinscotland · 30/03/2016 16:50

Yak, Rose! I still remember the kipper cock thread.