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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to send DS to school without breakfast

86 replies

BreakfastMuffin · 07/03/2016 10:02

We're trying to eat healthier and this morning DS (11 yo) came down to breakfast and asked for a double chocolate muffin (what he usually eats) I said we haven't got any and explained that we are going to stop buying them so often as they're not a healthy option. I offered him toast, cereal, grapefruit, porridge. No, it had to be a chocolate muffin OR one of those hot microwave chocolate pot desserts with chocolate middle.. I said no, you're not having it as it's for after dinner. He then said he's not eating anything for breakfast and he's not eating lunch at school either ( he won't now he's said it!) so I said fine, as I still didn't have the muffins and I don't want to buy them either... Then we had the usual 'everyone at the school has buns/muffins/junk food for breakfast and I'm a terrible mum for not letting him do the same'.. So for tomorrow my options are: buy chocolate muffins and let him have one and I'll have peace or Don't buy any and have the stress. Also in the car on the way to school we always have a snack eg carrots, red peppers etc. well today he didn't want the carrot as he said he's not eating.

OP posts:
FigMango1 · 07/03/2016 10:04

A chocolate muffin every day as breakfast and he's 11 yo? How did you let this go on for so long?

RubbleBubble00 · 07/03/2016 10:05

Mini step changes - would he take toast with Nutella or bagel?

BeautyGoesToBenidorm · 07/03/2016 10:06

Also Hmm at the double chocolate muffin as a regular breakfast - no wonder he's turning his nose up at something more suitable. This is going to be a serious battle of wills.

Original poster
BreakfastMuffin · 07/03/2016 10:08

Need to add, he'd also eat pancakes (I'm not making them on a school day), grapefruit, pop tarts (yuk) and eggs but as he had the eggs on sat and sun I didn't offer them again this morning....

OP posts:
gamerchick · 07/03/2016 10:08

Let him get on with it and if he gives you grief after school tell him you won't be buying any desserts at all.

Why has this gone on for so long? How did a chocolate muffin even become a breakfast habit?

It might be a bit of a battle but he won't starve himself.

Branleuse · 07/03/2016 10:08

its not ideal, but if all he wants to eat for breakfast is a muffin, then i would either make them or buy them, as its better than him not eating breakfast or even eating all day. If youve brought him up on chocolate muffins till now, then youre fighting a losing battle to all of a sudden decide to go healthy on a monday morning

pudcat · 07/03/2016 10:08

Maybe you should have warned him a few days ago and got him to choose something else he would like. Chocolate for breakfast not good

Branleuse · 07/03/2016 10:09

cant he have eggs every day? Thats a great breakfast. Egg and toast

gamerchick · 07/03/2016 10:09

Eggs are preferable and more filling.

Bitchrestingface · 07/03/2016 10:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Branleuse · 07/03/2016 10:09

sounds like you just want a little show of power with him

BeautyGoesToBenidorm · 07/03/2016 10:10

If he has a muffin every day, he can easily switch to having an egg every day. At least it's good protein and brain food!

MrsJayy · 07/03/2016 10:11

Get a jar of nutella show him the toaster and tell him to crack on cake for breakfast of course he wont eat anything else he wont wither away he will get used to the changes you are making

VoldysGoneMouldy · 07/03/2016 10:11

Double chocolate muffins for breakfast? Every day? Really?

How on earth have you got to a point where that is a normal breakfast? Changing that isn't 'eating healthier' it's 'eating normally'.

Oh, and pop tarts aren't much better.

AlwaysDancing1234 · 07/03/2016 10:11

I was going to say maybe start with a blueberry muffin tomorrow and gradually get on to healthier stuff then I re-read that he's 11! Old enough to understand why double chocolate muffin for breakfast is not sensible or healthy! I think you offered enough alternatives, I'd say he needs to like or lump it.

ElderlyKoreanLady · 07/03/2016 10:12

Well, there have obviously been some very poor choices previously.

He's 11. A few missed meals while you stick to your guns won't hurt. Just don't make too many changes at once.

Marynary · 07/03/2016 10:13

Obviously it's not great to be eating a double chocolate muffin for breakfast. However, now that he is into that routine I think you will find it hard to get him to eat porridge. I find it hard to get eldest DD (16 years) to eat anything that early in the morning and have had to resort to giving her a "morning bar" to eat on the bus.

HeffalumpHistory · 07/03/2016 10:15

Hmm a double chocolate muffin??
Even coco pops would be better.
A couple of days of stress will be worth it in the long run. He'll not go with nothing for long but if you back down now it sets a precedent!!!

We got into ds only drinking (strong) squash without really realising. It has taken about a month to get him drinking a decent amount of water & asking for water, not squash/juice.
Started with milk & water alternatively. Maybe start with bran muffins? It does all work out in the end

Ameliablue · 07/03/2016 10:15

No I wouldn't give in and give him a chocolate muffin, but I would give him eggs.

WorraLiberty · 07/03/2016 10:15

Did you spring it on him this morning or did you sit him down and explain yesterday, about this new healthy eating?

If it was the former then it might take a bit more time to get his head around.

Either way, it sounds as though you need to explain again exactly why you're changing his eating habits.

Apologise and make it clear that he is in no way to blame for having go used to such an awful diet.

WorraLiberty · 07/03/2016 10:15

*got

SpaceDinosaur · 07/03/2016 10:15

Did you communicate this change in food to him before this morning when he came down anticipating his "normal" breakfast?

He's 11. Perfectly capable of being told on Friday and Saturday and Sunday "no more double chocolate muffins from now on" it would have stopped it being a shock.

This isn't an aibu is it? You've stated "he refused to eat, he won't eat his snack and he will refuse his lunch too" you want us to tell you you're in the right.

You're so far from being in the right for your allowing a double chocolate muffin to become your son's anticipated and "usual" breakfast. How the hell does that happen?

AnotherEffingOrangeRevel · 07/03/2016 10:16

So he's having a bit of a sulk, but it's extremely unlikely he's going to starve. Good on you, OP, for making these changes even though it's proving tough and you're meeting resistance. In all likelihood he'll readjust - even adults with a lifetime of too much sugar behind them can readjust their palates.

As for the posts lambasting you for things in the past... well, I hope you can gloss over them. Idiotic.

(I'm assuming this is not a child with high food anxiety or anything, or it might need a bit of extra planning).

Cressandra · 07/03/2016 10:18

Plainer muffin, eg blueberry, or those ready made packs of (american?) pancakes?

CocktailQueen · 07/03/2016 10:21

Get him involved in making his own healthy breakfast muffins with oatmeal, raisiins and apricot in? Or invent your own. Beans on toast? Cheese on toast? Ham on toast?