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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to send DS to school without breakfast

86 replies

BreakfastMuffin · 07/03/2016 10:02

We're trying to eat healthier and this morning DS (11 yo) came down to breakfast and asked for a double chocolate muffin (what he usually eats) I said we haven't got any and explained that we are going to stop buying them so often as they're not a healthy option. I offered him toast, cereal, grapefruit, porridge. No, it had to be a chocolate muffin OR one of those hot microwave chocolate pot desserts with chocolate middle.. I said no, you're not having it as it's for after dinner. He then said he's not eating anything for breakfast and he's not eating lunch at school either ( he won't now he's said it!) so I said fine, as I still didn't have the muffins and I don't want to buy them either... Then we had the usual 'everyone at the school has buns/muffins/junk food for breakfast and I'm a terrible mum for not letting him do the same'.. So for tomorrow my options are: buy chocolate muffins and let him have one and I'll have peace or Don't buy any and have the stress. Also in the car on the way to school we always have a snack eg carrots, red peppers etc. well today he didn't want the carrot as he said he's not eating.

OP posts:
shinynewusername · 08/03/2016 09:06

You are trying to do the right thing. The problem is that it will feel like a punishment to your DS. All of us react badly when something we like is taken away from us. It's great that you want him to eat better, but you will sabotage your efforts if you give him the message that healthy food is being inflicted against his will. You need to engage him in the healthy eating project - he is getting to the age where he will just go and buy crap from a corner shop otherwise.

Agree with all PPs saying to work with him to come up with an alternative. Also maybe he can have a muffin once a week?

If he likes pancakes, could you batch cook (or buy ready-made but watch the sugar content), freeze and microwave? With a squeeze of lemon and only a sprinkling of sugar they'd be a lot healthier than what he has now and could be a stepping stone to something really healthy.

Marynary · 08/03/2016 09:39

I agree with everyone who suggests that you collaborate and compromise with your DS regarding what he eats. Those who think that he will start eating porridge if he goes without breakfast for a couple of days either don't have children or only have very young ones and are a bit clueless.

gentlydownthestreammm · 08/03/2016 10:20

I often didn't eat anything for breakfast (and still don't) because I wasn't/am not hungry at that time. However I cearly remember sometimes having a choc chip muffin that I'd eat in the car. I think some of the comments upthread are a bit pearl-clutching! It's hardly the worst parenting ever to give a chocolate muffin for breakfast every day if the rest of the meals are healthy, is it? Not ideal but still.

I'd say the best way forward is to say muffins are a Friday breakfast from now on, and get him to come up with some other alternatives for the other days of the week.

Branleuse · 08/03/2016 10:21

whats the difference between having chocolate pudding for breakfast instead of after dinner, if the chocolate pudding is going to be eaten anyway

TooMuchOfEverything · 08/03/2016 10:23

I can't stand breakfast unless it's v v sweet. At college I had a jam donut and Ribena every morning. Happiest 2 years of my life!!

Is he healthy?

BathshebaDarkstone · 08/03/2016 10:24

YANBU. Most DC won't deliberately starve themselves. If he doesn't eat breakfast or lunch he'll wolf down supper.

BarbarianMum · 08/03/2016 10:25

Oh well. I spring breakfast "surprises" on mine all the time. Usually cause we've run out of something. Laughing at the idea that an 11 year old might need to be sat down and "prepared" for a bowl or cereal or piece of toast.

BathshebaDarkstone · 08/03/2016 10:34

Koala DS1 very rarely eats breakfast still at 25. He has cystic fibrosis and quite often I couldn't even get him to finish a Build-Up. It's not always because nobody's giving them breakfast, even though SS tried to accuse me of as much.

Original poster
BreakfastMuffin · 08/03/2016 12:24

Thank you to everyone for your suggestions. They are great and i'll def be using some of them. Just to give a little update. DH picked him up from school yesterday - he ate lunch there fine and no mention of the issue at breakfast. I went to the shops and bought lots of frozen fruit etc for smoothies and 'prepared' him for no muffin tomorrow. This morning - what would you like for breakfast I said. Chocolate muffins he answered with a cheeky smile. Smoothie it is then. He had it and the usual snack in the car. Hurray.

OP posts:
ThePebbleCollector · 08/03/2016 12:31

All the "Hmm" Comments at you giving him a chocolate muffin in the first place - Biscuit

As parents we can fall into the trap of making the easiest decision to keep our children happy and before you know it it's become the norm. Great that you've made the decision to change family eating habbits :)

There are some perfect parents ready to scold you for your terrible decisions but not provide much in terms of support and advice.

I don't think YABU, you gave him lots of options and he will eventually be hungry and give in and may like the alternatives you have offered, if he doesn't there are plenty of ideas online (try the change4life website) :)

Good luck

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