Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WWYD? DP's eating habits

95 replies

KinkyAfro · 10/02/2016 21:19

On holiday at Christmas time, DP and I decided we'd try and get healthier ie lose some weight, do some exercise. I joined Weight Watchers mid Jan and am pleased to have lost 1 stone, 5 lbs to date. I do have a bit to lose. DP on the other hand seems to be making it his mission to eat as much as possible, every night. As an example tonight he ate 2 chicken fillets, 2 baked potatoes with lots of butter and a massive pile of sweet corn. He finished eating that at 7.30. Since then he's eaten a large bag of wine gums, 4 creme eggs and 6 Club cake bars. There's also a full pack of chocolate digestives in the pile of stuff on the coffee table.

I've said to him you can't be hungry after that dinner and he says he isn't so why is he eating all this shite? He's very sensitive if I question why he's eating it and says just because I'm eating healthily doesn't mean he has to.

His dad died of a heart attack when he was 49, DP is 46 and has mentioned a few times that he's worried about it happening to him.

I just don't know what to say to him Sad

OP posts:
Bohemond · 10/02/2016 21:21

Ask him to google diabetes. It is not pleasant.

Original poster
KinkyAfro · 10/02/2016 21:22

Oh he knows, his daughter is type 1

OP posts:
Proginoskes · 10/02/2016 21:26

My first thought is that there is something in his life, or maybe somethingS, that he feels he has no control over, and his response is to (figuratively) say "Well, fine dammit, but I am controlling my food intake and I'll eat what I want and you (meaning whatever he feels causes the loss of control) can't stop me!"

XiCi · 10/02/2016 21:27

I'm finding it hard to believe anyone could eat that much. Is he very overweight?

Bunbaker · 10/02/2016 21:28

"Since then he's eaten a large bag of wine gums, 4 creme eggs and 6 Club cake bars"

So why are they in the house then? Just stop buying this junk.

Original poster
KinkyAfro · 10/02/2016 21:31

I don't buy it, he does. He's about 6 stone overweight

OP posts:
VoldysGoneMouldy · 10/02/2016 21:31

Is he comfort eating or boredom eating?

Original poster
KinkyAfro · 10/02/2016 21:32

And when I say he buys it, he goes to the shop every night on the way home from work

OP posts:
Fairylea · 10/02/2016 21:32

Oh I eat like this BlushBlush and I'm not hugely overweight either.. Not skinny by any means but not particularly huge either. I just get a lot of pleasure from eating, I'm the happiest I have ever been at the moment so it isn't even an emotional thing. I just love junk food Blush I know it's not good for me but I have no will power, simple as that really. I'm not sure you can make someone eat more healthily when they don't want to.

Tiggeryoubastard · 10/02/2016 21:33

You don't say anything. His life, his choice.
Otoh, bloody well done you on your weight loss. That's fantastic.

Original poster
KinkyAfro · 10/02/2016 21:33

I don't know Voldy, I just asked him again and he says "I'm not hungry I just fancied something". And now he's just told me to stop going on at him

OP posts:
SaucyJack · 10/02/2016 21:36

Is that a typical evening meal for you both?

It sounds on the dull side if I'm being brutally honest. Would he still get the munchies if he had something tastier in the first place?

janethegirl2 · 10/02/2016 21:37

My dh eats loads more than he needs, and it tends to be crap. As he occasionally goes round the supermarket I can't stop him buying shit.
He does whine when I buy alcohol though as he thinks I shouldn't drink!
Each to their own poison in 'our' house IMO.
I think he'll be dead first though!

Original poster
KinkyAfro · 10/02/2016 21:38

I don't say anything a lot of the time but it's just since we decided to do something about our health, he's got much worse. It's upsetting when he talks of his dad, you'd think that would make him try at least

OP posts:
VimFuego101 · 10/02/2016 21:41

That is a LOT of food! What did he eat the rest of the day? Does he drink much water?

Original poster
KinkyAfro · 10/02/2016 21:41

That's what he asked for Saucy. The chicken was cooked in the garlic Maggi papers which he loves. Last night he had takeaway curry and the night before a chippy because he didn't want what I was having (chicken stir fry & omelette)

OP posts:
Original poster
KinkyAfro · 10/02/2016 21:43

He said he didn't have breakfast and had a Tesco pasta salad for lunch. He doesn't drink water at all, he has 1 or 2 lattes and lots of diet coke

OP posts:
Florene · 10/02/2016 21:44

Try talking to him when he's not buried in food. Maybe go out for a walk at the weekend and try to talk to him then.

Tell him how worried you are and how you think he should think about some professional help to get to bottom of what triggers his desire to eat. Might be easier to communicate without the guilt of whatever he's just overeaten hanging over him.

Original poster
KinkyAfro · 10/02/2016 21:45

I don't think he feels guilty lol!

OP posts:
Cleensheetsandbedding · 10/02/2016 21:48

Op I could have wrote your post. Im in exactly the same situation with my Dh. We have actually had a little tiff over it tonight and I've come up stairs.

I've joined slimming world and Dh is supposed to be doing it to but it's half arsed. He went for a 'buisness meeting' yesterday and had a pub dinner and then rang me tonight to see if I fancied eating out for tea Angry

He needs to lose at least 4 stone, he is a big bloke so just about carries it off but at the moment his gut is stuck out like a nine month pregnant woman and I hate it.

We have a dd together and trying for another and I told him he has pushed him self in to obesity and could end up leaving us (dead) after a heart attack.

He has been to the gym (spent more time in steam room) and thinks this now means he can eat shit for the rest of the week.

I'm fed up with it AngryWine

SaucyJack · 10/02/2016 21:52

"That's what he asked for Saucy. The chicken was cooked in the garlic Maggi papers which he loves."

Ah fair enough. That sounds much tastier than it did in the OP anyway.

I wasn't trying to be bitchy- it's just that if I have summat bland for dinner I'm much, much more likely to go routing around in the cupboards afterwards. I try and use a lot of chilli and onions for satiety.

Original poster
KinkyAfro · 10/02/2016 21:53

It's hard isn't it cleen. He told me I'm being all preachy because I'm doing WW and if it was that good I wouldn't need to keep rejoining. I do admit this is the 4th time I've rejoined but my head has never been in the right place before. I'm feeling really positive this time and it is very hard watching him eat all that stuff, and very hard for me to resist sometimes. I don't feel I can say too much though because I'm overweight so who am I to talk?

OP posts:
Original poster
KinkyAfro · 10/02/2016 21:54

I didn't think you were being bitchy saucy Smile

OP posts:
ivejusthadacake · 10/02/2016 21:57

i can only speculate but might he be bored or secretly stressed? these are my triggers.

my DH really has to bite his tongue and tbh, im glad. I know all the food is bad for my teeth, diabetes and my visceral fat around organs etc but im nowhere near overweight as im active and have a broad frame (my arms and chest can even look boney).

today i ate the entire 5 pack of cream eggs, a 75g bag of milk bottles, 2 sugary cereal bars and a 75g of strawberry shoelaces, 2 crumpets with strawberry jams on them.

ive started to do two different evening class each week and this has helped lift my mood. does your partner need to break the boredom/weekly treadmill cycle?

skinnyamericano · 10/02/2016 21:57

Well done on your weight loss!

I think his over-eating is all tied up with your healthy eating - he's probably jealous that you are sticking to it and being successful, so he's reacting by going the other way. He possibly sees you as being a bit over the top, as I certainly can be when I'm eating extra healthily, so wants to be different.

As a PP said, you can't talk about it whilst he's in the throes of stuffing it down - try at a time when he is more receptive. Ultimately, there's nothing you can say or do to change him, as we all know too well, the only way to lose weight is to really, really want to yourself.