to object to MNHQ forcing a MALE/FEMALE gender binary on my account.

[HairyLittleCarrot]

I don't have any GENDER.

My MN account forces me to pick from two 'genders'.

I can't even opt out, it's a forced binary choice.

I'm not agender, pangender, cisgender, transgender, male gender, female gender or ANY GENDER.

If you want to know my sex, I am happy to provide that information. But you'll have to add that in as a field, because it doesn't exist currently.

Sex and gender are not the same thing. If you insist on collecting data by gender and making it a forced choice I would like an option as follows:

"Reject gender as a harmful, made up, bullshit concept".

Then when you analyse your account database you can say
X% identify as female gender
Y% identify as male gender
Z% reject gender as a bullshit concept.

AIBU to request MNHQ to alter my account details so that they do not misrepresent me?

I mean I'm very new to the idea of radfem but was really shocked at some of the things folks in the trans community have been saying about it, enough to have disengaged for the last few months as it was an insane minefield. I'd never see someone as a 'TERF' just for wanting to talk about the historical and current oppression of women as a sex class. Why is a biological reality transphobic? There's been some truly disturbing vitriol towards women who want to talk about being biologically women recently. Sorry, probably getting sidetracked, I just don't understand it.

Oops, that was a run-on from Empress's and Barry's post but the thread has whooshed since then.

Why does MNHQ need to know our sex or gender anyway? Is it for statistics for advertisers?

Why is anyone on Mumsnet if they dont identify with that?

Women need sanitary bins in toilets, men don't. Men can use urinals, women can't. It seems like a sensible way to segregate toilets.

When I was at school girls were so embarrassed about periods that we would go to the loo in pairs so that one girl could use the hand dryer to cover up the rustling noises from changing sanitary protection. It would have been so much more embarrassing if there were boys in the toilets too.

You are basically saying that if we accept gender, then men will go out of their way to wear a skirt just to sexually assault women

Yes, this exactly. I fear that some men, who have no qualms about their male bodies, will claim they are gendered as female and will use this as another route to assault women. I also fear that rapists will claim the same and be placed in women's prisons. Look at the recent case of 'Davina' and tell me that man, convicted of raping a minor, now claiming to be a woman, should be placed in a women's prison because they now claim to be female. If everyone is allowed to pick their gender, this is a reality we must face

Davina Ayrton

(Sorry to pick one line of your reply, I am supposed to be doing something else, but it stuck out to me)

OP I have an issue with the way you've approached this and that's what makes you unreasonable.

Nobody is forcing you to do anything. MN is a free website. Signing up was your choice. There was no coercion.

If you want to change policy there are better ways to go about it.

Are the people who are ok with sharing loos and changing rooms with males also happy to insist that girls should be required to do this too? No problems with under 18s being required by anti discrimination legislation to share intimate spaces with adults with penises?

You are basically saying that if we accpet gender, then men will go out of their way to wear a skirt just to sexually assault women.

There is already at least one documented case of a man in prison claiming to be trans with the purpose of gaining access to women for sexual assault. So yes, I am saying that some men will do this.

Why is a biological reality transphobic?
A good question, Riviera.

The only time I've ever had a tick box to enter either sex or gender, was when I signed up to an account here!

ChiefClerkDrumknott

This.

Empress

I stand and applaud you - a brilliant post which illustrates the continued injustice faced by women who are expected to make continual sacrifices for others regardless of the impact on their rights and freedom's.

To answer BarryMerry's question, from a purely selfish point of view, that wouldn't affect me, as I always get changed in a private cubicle. I don't wish to be seen naked in front strangers, be they male, female, or anywhere in between, nor do I wish to see naked strangers. No ta very much. So it's not for me to answer the question as to whether it would bother me, because I can't.

Chief - you do know women are capable of sexual assault as well? You say these things as if all men are programmed to rape on some level, and will take any opportunity to do so. Are you saying this person should be in a male prison, where no one will be at risk of sexual assault? This is only the reality of the paranoid.

I always understood 'gender' to be more politically correct than 'sex'.
Gender can be self-ascribed.
Perhaps there should be a 'prefer not to/cannot say'.

Perhaps MNHQ have a hidden agender.

I signed up to MN years ago. I don't recall whether the box said gender or sex at the time. Whilst checking my account details recently I realised I couldn't uncheck the box, I had to pick a gender.
I don't wish to delete my account.

I chose AIBU for the high traffic and to canvass opinion. Isn't that what AIBU is for?
There isn't a list of topics unsuitable for AIBU that I'm aware of. I've seen worse than this.

MrsGently

Female sex offenders are in a significant minority when compared to male sex offenders, so whilst women can and do commit sexual assault, a man is far more likely to do so, statistically.

I've certainly lost a lot of friends since I've been asking it. I de-transitioned several years ago (FtM) and have always wanted to remain supportive of trans issues and active in community support, but the aggressive steamrolling over female voices I've seen more and more of in recent years is too much to handle.

I got as far as your post Lurking and after I stopped laughing I realised there's much else I could add.
Keep up the good work mate.
👍👍👍

Words keep on being redefined over time. I have often seen gender used as a synonym for sex in databases - usually by people and organisations (often American) who got upset by words like sex and "titbit" which Americans have had to recast as "tidbit" to preserve their delicate sensibilities.

Now gender has been hijacked as a word to be offended by, when it's not being employed as a way to deliberately offend. I suspect the redifinition is lost on most ordinary people, but like descriptions of racial groups, what's acceptable will change over time.

Are you saying this person should be in a male prison, where no one will be at risk of sexual assault? This is only the reality of the paranoid.

Putting one male person's safety ahead of the safety of a prison full of women is misogynistic.

And your argument is flawed. You seem to be saying on the one hand that women are as dangerous as men and also that the transperson needs to be placed with women rather than men because it is safer. Both can't be true.

this is such a mumsnet thing to get worked up about. yawn.

i'd like to say i have learnt something from this thread..

I'm not sure what i learnt but definitely something

Yabu. It just for data collecting for uses. 99.9% of us fall into the two cats.