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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Do you know anyone who has never had a partner?

137 replies

pimpyourprosecco · 06/01/2016 18:42

A thread in relationships made me think of this (the person in question was very young) but do you know anyone who's a bit on in years who has never been in a relationship?

Would it put you off being with them?

OP posts:

rogueantimatter · 06/01/2016 18:44

I know two people who are both middle-aged who have never had a partner.

helensburgh · 06/01/2016 18:45

Yes my SIL who is mid 40s.
She appears not interested

JE1234 · 06/01/2016 18:47

My best friend who is the loveliest person in the world has never had a partner. She is genuinely the most caring, wonderful person and would make an amazing wife and mother. She has a facial disfigurement and sadly I think people often don't look past it. My heart breaks for her because she would love a family.

Donthate · 06/01/2016 18:47

Yes by best friend who is 34. She would love to have a partner but won't put herself out there.

Allyearcheer · 06/01/2016 18:48

Yes, bil. He is Middle aged now and a really lovely guy, lots of friends and interests. I think he may suffer from being 'too nice'. There was recently an woman he was friends with who wanted a relationship but he didn't. Sil thinks because she was too old for kids, which bil would like.
It wouldn't put me off going out with someone if they had never had a girlfriend, i don't think.

TheTroubleWithAngels · 06/01/2016 18:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes · 06/01/2016 18:50

Yes, SiL. 34 but never really grew up. Lives at home, very dependent on her mum, has a huge list of things a man must do/have before she'll consider going out with them.

Ex-friend. Alcoholic. Male. Also would only consider women who looked like supermodels and would point out stunningly beautiful women and say they were ugly/fat/had a massive arse, etc.

Weird.

ByThePrickingOfMyThumbs · 06/01/2016 18:50

A few years ago I would have said yes. A friend who was 30ish. He was lovely but he lacked self confidence. He'd never so much as kissed anyone else. The longer he'd gone without a relationship, the lower his confidence in that area and so it became a vicious circle for him. Happily, a couple of years ago someone new started at his work. They clicked immediately and they are now living together and she is 20 weeks pg with their first child.

TrappedInAWitchesCurse · 06/01/2016 18:51

I'm in my late 30s and have never had a partner, I'm just not interested in a relationship which some of my friends find very hard to understand.

Callthemodwife · 06/01/2016 18:52

Yes, my best friend. She's successful, attractive and intelligent but very closed to men emotionally. I have a theory that most women have a friend like this, at least into your mid-30s. I hope she finds someone soon but as time goes on she seems to make less and less effort to meet men and you don't stumble across as many single guys in your mid-30s.

Wristy · 06/01/2016 18:54

My lovely little sister. She is painfully shy I think.

IWantSantasNewToyInMyStocking · 06/01/2016 18:58

Yep, I have friend mid 40s who hasn't. She doesn't seem that bothered, she's very slim and attractive and very intelligent so I think she'd be a catch for anyone.

Original poster

pimpyourprosecco · 06/01/2016 19:01

Why do you think most women have a friend like that?

OP posts:

areyoubeingserviced · 06/01/2016 19:03

Yes I know three women in their late thirties
My cousin ( who is forty)
Next door neighbour's brother who is in his early fifties- he says that he has never met the right person.

JuniorMint · 06/01/2016 19:04

My sister is 27 and has never had a boyfriend serious enough to bring home and meet the parents, think she had someone she was "seeing" at uni. She's absolutely lovely (I would say that!) and very pretty with her own house and a good job, but I think she's quite young for her age and probably quite set in her ownways and choosy so it just hasn't really happened for her yet.

hyperspacebug · 06/01/2016 19:05

Yep, my colleague. Very clever and popular at work, great sense of humour, good friend to many incl me. Has looks with Hugh Grant demeanour. Christian and really workaholic. First girlfriend at 41 years old and married 1 year later :)

GlitterNails · 06/01/2016 19:06

I haven't had a relationship, am late 20s. Would love to have one, but I'm overweight and disabled, so don't get out much and feel no one would ever fancy me. To be fair no one has asked me out/flirted, so I'm not rejecting anyone!

I really hope I don't go my whole life like this. It feels so awful.

Tuiles · 06/01/2016 19:06

My brother, never shown the slightest inclination to find a partner. He's a lovely guy, but is a bit set in his ways and likes things just so. He's a fantastic uncle though, fun loving and generous.

Shesinfashion · 06/01/2016 19:06

Yes, lovely friend. In early 50's. Has brilliant career, beautiful flat. Seems "sorted" in her life without a man. She's just not interested in romantic relationships. Maybe she has a very low libido or she is completely content with the single life. Maybe it's both...

Janeymoo50 · 06/01/2016 19:08

Ex colleague. 56, male and displays very obvious signs of Aspergers. Lives at home with his mum.

SaucyJack · 06/01/2016 19:09

I have an old (male) friend who still hadn't ever done the deed last time I spoke to him. Mid 30s.

He's completely obsessed with all the mucky business- which sadly only gets worse and makes him even less attractive to sane women as time goes by.

He's otherwise a perfectly decent bloke. Just very very creepy about sex and women. I'm fond of him in theory, but I haven't seen him in a long time because I find him unbearably intense.

J, if you're reading this- just pop your fricking cherry already.

WeAllHaveWings · 06/01/2016 19:12

db never had a relationship until he met his dw when they were both in late thirties.

Meeting so late they missed out on having a family which they regret, but they have the most amazing relationship, careers, holidays and social life.

toffeeboffin · 06/01/2016 19:22

Hmm, my DH had never had a real 'partner' before he met me.

He'd dated, but not seriously. He was 33 when we met. He's been a good investment so far

Allbymyselfagain · 06/01/2016 19:23

Yes two. My cousin mid 30s who I'm not sure if she wants one. She is lovely but can be grumpy and seems to never strive for anything so I think there are some self esteem issues there.
And the other a man in his 40s who is extremely socially awkward and your stereotypical mummy's boy. Like saucys friend this man is a virgin and desperate to lose his virginity. He tried to ask me out several times, becoming more and more forceful until I have to end the fledgling friendship and go NC. Shame because he was an ok bloke, reasonably good looking but he couldn't get past the desperation to be in a relationship and he scared everyone he met off

MrsMook · 06/01/2016 19:25

My friend's never had a settled relationship. He's dated but never got very far. He's about 40. His standards are... aspirational. Unfortunately the glamourous, wealthy, intelligent type that he's lusting for isn't going to be inclined to have him at the top of their wishlist.

There's been lovely girls that have liked him and had potential from their end, but he's been unrealistically picky.

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