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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To assume he has forgotten his child?

92 replies

HairySubject · 19/12/2015 16:13

Exp brought our son home at 10am this morning. He only picked him up at 6 last night but that is a whole other thread. Anyway he said he had too much to do so couldn't have ds today. He had to get his tyres changed and a isn't want to take ds with him.
He had his dd with him (from relationship previous to ours) and she asked if she could stay here too rather than get dragged around. She is 7 our ds is 3.
I of course said yes. Well it is now 6 hours later and still no sign of him.

Aibu to assume he has forgotten his dd is here? I know I can just ring him but then he will be all like, well if dd is too much trouble for you I will just pick her up blah blah blah. If you don't want her etc etc.

OP posts:
PurpleWithRed · 19/12/2015 16:16

Why not just ring him then? What's the problem? does he have form for using you as an unpaid babysitter for his other child?

Original poster
HairySubject · 19/12/2015 16:16

Just rang... No answer.

OP posts:
blueistheonlycolourwefeel · 19/12/2015 16:16

He's taking the piss!!!

Original poster
HairySubject · 19/12/2015 16:18

I didn't want to ring because he turns it around as if I don't like his dd and don't want her here. That isn't the case at all, I just think he is being unreasonable dropping her off unannounced and then sodding off all day..

OP posts:
myotherusernameisbetter · 19/12/2015 16:20

Does his DD normally live with him or has he dumped her on you during his agreed contact time? Does her mother know?

Is he on his Christmas Day out with work?

Original poster
HairySubject · 19/12/2015 16:21

No she doesn't live with him, he is having contact.

Her mum won't mind, we get on great and dsd still stays over and comes to see us which I arrange with her mum.

He had his work night out so don't think it's that.

OP posts:
Dungandbother · 19/12/2015 16:26

What a lame excuse for a father. But then you already know that.

It's so exasperating isn't it.

My stbxh had his best friend over for dinner last weekend for his bday. Fine. Except the best friend is father to my God daughter and he hasn't seen her for 6 months

Original poster
HairySubject · 19/12/2015 16:34

I just don't know why these men wouldn't want to see their kids. It makes no sense to me at all.

OP posts:
myotherusernameisbetter · 19/12/2015 16:36

I know :(

I feel like my arm is cut off when one of mine is away overnight....and they are big hairy teenagers not little ones - especially in the week before Christmas.

WaitingForSnow · 19/12/2015 16:38

Call her mum. Say it in as way that says well I don't mind but did you realise kind of way and go forward from there. Either she stays over or mum picks her up. When he finally calls you tell him she is no longer with you.

myotherusernameisbetter · 19/12/2015 16:39

I had to steal a cuddle from next doors 3 year old when mine wouldn't come outside to see Santa last night. Why wouldn't you want to share a bit of pre Christmas magic with your little ones? And my DSs when they were 3 would have loved going to get new tyres on the car...

AndNowItsSeven · 19/12/2015 16:41

The silver lining is the lovely relationship you seem to have with your ds sister. It appears his dd's mum is far better and putting her child's needs before her own than he is.

Original poster
HairySubject · 19/12/2015 16:43

I have just text him, will give an hour to reply then ring her mum and ask is she stopping for the night. She is no trouble.

OP posts:
Lweji · 19/12/2015 16:45

I wouldn't be pleased if I was the mum. Unless she is also using you as an unpaid babysitter.

EeyoresTail · 19/12/2015 16:47

He sounds like an arse!
It's refreshing that you have such a good relationship with your DS's half sister and her DM

whatdoIget · 19/12/2015 16:51

Must be nice to have the option of whether to take your child with you when you go about your daily life or not. A luxury that many single mothers parents don't have

petalsandstars · 19/12/2015 17:05

Why give him an hour to reply. Call mum now so you can decide for yourself and not be reliant on his timings.

Boomingmarvellous · 19/12/2015 17:15

I'd ring her mother and let them sort their daughter out. I wouldn't worry about upsetting him as he is a total arse. Just do it quietly so the DD doesn't hear.

So sorry for children having a parent like him.

Youarentkiddingme · 19/12/2015 17:17

From your predictions of his attitude I'm assuming this man is a anipulative fuckwit?

Thank goodness both his children have sensible parents too who put the welfare of their children first.

Original poster
HairySubject · 19/12/2015 17:21

Well he turned up saying he had only managed to get two tyres done. His dd asked if she could stay here anyway so she is.

I don't think her mum uses me as an unpaid babysitter, I was in her life as 'step mum' for 4 years and she has a great relationship with me and my children including her own brother so I just think it is nice for the children (and me) to still see her.

you aren't he is indeed a fuck wit, I think that sums him up nicely.

When he left he said bye kids, they didn't even acknowledge he was leaving, seems he hasn't made much of an impression on them either.

OP posts:
Original poster
HairySubject · 19/12/2015 17:22

WhatdoIget that is exactly what I said to him when he knocked me out of bed at 10am with two children in tow.

OP posts:
BoboChic · 19/12/2015 17:27

He isn't overburdened with feelings of paternal responsibility, is he?

Skullyton · 19/12/2015 17:44

whats taken him 6hrs to get 2 new tyres? It takes us about an hour to get all 4 done, and that includes driving there and back!

clam · 19/12/2015 17:46

Well, at least you've now had a good reminder as to why he's your ex.

VaticanAssassin · 19/12/2015 17:59

I do think you should let her Mum know she's with you though.

It's great that you both get on (you both sound far more responsible than him tbh), but if my DD was on a visit to her Dad, that's who's care I'd expect her to be in until she was brought home- or at least I'd like to be kept up to date with where my child is.

He sounds like an arse OP, you're well rid!

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