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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed she's using my desk?

82 replies

Dontforgetmyfries · 13/12/2015 15:05

Bit of background, I've been signed off work with depression.

I had a colleague (who is a friend) tell me that another colleague has been using my desk - I've only been off a week!

This person is full time, doesn't have to hot desk and has her own desk. There is no logical reason why she would need to use it - only that she wants to use it.

Aibu to be annoyed by this and that it was even allowed by our manager?

OP posts:
pinkdelight · 13/12/2015 15:09

Don't give it a minute's thought. Presumably you've been signed off because work is too stressful and adds to your depression so it's hardly going to help to be dwelling on something like this. You're not at work, she could have any number of viable reasons for using your desk, when you are back she won't be able to use it any more. Ignore your friend and focus on getting well again. In the kindest way, YABU.

LibrariesgaveusP0wer · 13/12/2015 15:12

Do you have a lot of paperwork there you are worried about getting messed up?

Unless there is a practical problem, put it out of your mind. Your colleague might dislike her desk for any number of reasons - under a vent, too near a chatty colleague, etc etc. She's probably just taking the chance for a little holiday to a nicer one!

Arfarfanarf · 13/12/2015 15:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Dontforgetmyfries · 13/12/2015 15:16

My desk is pretty much directly behind me so it's not a different or better location.

It just seems uncaring. I don't expect sympathy from her or anyone at work but it felt like the minute I walked out the door she used it to her advantage.

OP posts:
LibrariesgaveusP0wer · 13/12/2015 15:17

In the nicest possible way, it's a desk. I'd let it go.

DyslexicScientist · 13/12/2015 15:17

Choose your battles hun! This isn't worth thinking about.

People get so territorial over desks, you don't own them really.

mintoil · 13/12/2015 15:19

I think this is the depression talking.

It isn't your desk is it? You don't own it, and anyone can sit there. I agree with PP that if you have personal stuff there you could ask for that to be collected or stored safely. Other than that, forget about it - and ask your colleague to stop telling you about shit that is happening at work. You are signed off and should be concentrating on getting better, not stressing over unimportant work stuff.

I hope you are better soon.

OddSocksHighHeels · 13/12/2015 15:19

I'm not sure your manager could do anything - it's just a desk.

I'd ask your colleague/friend not to mention work stuff to you if it's likely to upset you.

Gruntfuttock · 13/12/2015 15:20

"My desk is pretty much directly behind me"

How inconvenient.

Sparklingbrook · 13/12/2015 15:25

If all my stuff was on and in the desk and they had their own perfectly Ok desk I would be fed up about it too.

Hate people messing with my stuff and going back to find everything missing/rearranged.

SelfLoathing · 13/12/2015 15:31

Sorry but you are being unreasonable. Your employer is running a business and has to pay for the use of their office space. Just because you aren't there doesn't mean they are obliged to treat it as dead space; they would be paying for space that wasn't being used which is crazy and uneconomic.

It's not your desk; it's your employers.

If you have personal stuff (and really you shouldn't have anything that personal at work anyway) agree with asking someone to get it together for you.

DoreenLethal · 13/12/2015 15:35

Perhaps she is missing you?

EnlightenedOwl · 13/12/2015 15:36

Sadly this is true you can't claim a desk. The only thing I ask is if anyone uses mine whilst I'm not in please don't adjust my chair as I can never get it back how I need it!

Original poster
Dontforgetmyfries · 13/12/2015 15:39

Just because you aren't there doesn't mean they are obliged to treat it as dead space; they would be paying for space that wasn't being used which is crazy and uneconomic.

I'm unsure of your point.

If she's sitting at my desk, then her desk is empty or "dead space"

We all have assigned desks at work. I couldn't just walk in on Monday morning and sit where I wanted.

It's also meant that she has disconnected my CPU and connected her own from her previous desk.

OP posts:
TheCrazyDuchess · 13/12/2015 15:40

I am currently in the same position and I get how you feel - my desk is personal to me but I think I agree with everyone else it's not something to get upset over. Hope you feel better soon xx

flippinada · 13/12/2015 15:48

In the nicest way, yabu. It's just a desk at work

Why is it bothering you? You don't have to answer but maybe have a think about it, as this could be a function of your depression.

I hope you feel better soon Flowers

SelfLoathing · 13/12/2015 15:48

I'm unsure of your point.

My point is that it is not YOUR desk. It is your employers.
You have no right over it at all.

If she's sitting at my desk, then her desk is empty or "dead space"

You don't know that if you aren't there do you? Your employer may have plans to bring in a temp etc.

But anyway, if she prefers your desk for whatever reason (quieter, better light, more comfortable, larger) it may mean she is more productive. So it is better that the best space is used and not treated as dead space.

But my point ultimately is it is nothing to do with you and you have no right to complain. It's space that someone (your employer) is paying for and they can do what they like with it.

BTW if you are signed off work with depression, you shouldn't even be thinking about this let alone posting all over the internet about something so trivial. Just forget about it. And you'd be better off without your "friends" reporting back to you about office minutiae.

HoobleDooble · 13/12/2015 15:50

I'm a bit territorial about my desk, but I know it's coveted, it's the one in the corner and nobody can see my screen.

ThenLaterWhenItGotDark · 13/12/2015 15:52

I'm guessing if you did walk in tomorrow you would get "your" desk back.

Sorry you're ill, but the others are right....it's not "your" desk, it's the desk you sit at when you are there.

Flippinada is right- you perhaps need to delve a bit deeper and see why you feel so odd about your desk. Because it's not right. Flowers

SevenOfNineTrue · 13/12/2015 15:55

I don't like anyone sitting at my desk when I am not there. Just really a feeling of them not touching my things etc.

I do think it is insensitive of her to have moved to your desk while you are signed off. I'd feel like it was a message that I am not coming back, wanted or missed etc.

Depression is awful, I've gone through it myself. Take good care of yourself Flowers

MrsUltra · 13/12/2015 15:58

I don't think much of your 'friend' Hmm who chose to tell you this when you otherwise would not have known. Suggest you spend less time with her, ignore what is happening at work and expend you efforts doing things/being with people who make you feel good.

WorraLiberty · 13/12/2015 15:59

But it's not your desk is it?

It belongs to the company, so if it makes her working day better in some way, it makes sense for the manager to let her use it.

flippinada · 13/12/2015 16:01

Yes, I don't think it was very kind or thoughtful of the friend to share this information - especially if OP's depression is related to events at work.

Sparklingbrook · 13/12/2015 16:01

It was a few years ago now that I worked in an office for a large company. No desk hopping was permitted. You were allocated a desk, That was your desk and that was that.
So we did have our own desks.

ThenLaterWhenItGotDark · 13/12/2015 16:03

But if you weren't there Sparks, presumably the company could have moved someone else to "your" desk in your absence? Especially had it been long term?