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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not really want DH to go out now

118 replies

DisappointedOne · 13/10/2015 21:47

It's my birthday. As usual, very little thought has gone into it so have spent the evening doing what DD wanted to do. One of DH's brothers is staying the night in a town about 20 miles away and has a spare bed in his hotel room. DH wants to go out drinking and stay out all night with his brother. I'd really rather he didn't, but he says this is the height of unreasonableness on my part. So, who is BU?

OP posts:
nameschanger · 13/10/2015 21:49

He's going out on your birthday?

He's unreasonable.

Original poster
DisappointedOne · 13/10/2015 21:50

Apparently he's not now. He's just stormed off to bed after telling me to "fuck off" and calling me a cunt.

OP posts:
ahbollocks · 13/10/2015 21:50

What a tool.

I think if that's where he wanted to be then I would leave him go

Happy birthday though OP. Please do have another unofficial birthday ASAP!

monkeysox · 13/10/2015 21:51

What an arse hole

ahbollocks · 13/10/2015 21:51

A cunt?!
There has to be more to this or I'd be filing for divorce

CatMilkMan · 13/10/2015 21:51

If you don't have anything planned for tonight and he would be making it up to you then it's not so bad, it should be up to you.
How regularly does he get to see his brother?

AtSea1979 · 13/10/2015 21:52

since you haven't really celebrated your birthday and it's nearly 10pm why not give him your blessing but suggest he makes it up to you by doing something nice at the weekend?

CatMilkMan · 13/10/2015 21:53

Alright he's an idiot.

FithColumnist · 13/10/2015 21:53

He is being an utterly inexusable arsehole. And acting like a toddler.

OP, happy birthday. FlowersCakeWineFlowers Take at least some solace from the fact that October-born people are the best.

Fraggleyourock · 13/10/2015 21:53

What an awful thing to call you! Sorry that your birthday has been naff! I hope you can celebrate it at a later date! Cake

AtSea1979 · 13/10/2015 21:54

He said what!
Why are you with someone like that?

whois · 13/10/2015 21:54

A cunt?!
There has to be more to this or I'd be filing for divorce

Exactly.

honeyroar · 13/10/2015 21:54

He doesn't sound very nice at all. Is this normal behaviour? If not a birthday divorce should be on your list.

I want to wish you a happy birthday, but it sounds a bit late.

Original poster
DisappointedOne · 13/10/2015 21:54

His family live 250+ miles away. It's a long and tawdry story, but in short they as a family make no effort for us. We've lived in this house for 10 years and 2 brothers have visited once. It was DD's 5th birthday this weekend and she got 1 card and 1 colouring book from her grandparents and nothing from anyone else.

OP posts:
YouBastardSockBalls · 13/10/2015 21:55

I hope a bird shits on him on his birthday.

Flowers OP. Happy birthday Flowers

steff13 · 13/10/2015 21:55

Why don't you go out drinking and spend all night with your husband's brother?

Original poster
DisappointedOne · 13/10/2015 21:56

since you haven't really celebrated your birthday and it's nearly 10pm why not give him your blessing but suggest he makes it up to you by doing something nice at the weekend?

Ha. At the weekend we're up there attending a party for someone he went to school with (who I've met once) and his family are all too busy to see us.

OP posts:
Original poster
DisappointedOne · 13/10/2015 21:57

It's a significant birthday for him in a couple of months and I've booked an amazing surprise holiday. Seriously tempted to cancel now.

OP posts:
Wishful80smontage · 13/10/2015 21:58

He called you a cunt- that would be it for me fuck that OP

SusanIvanova · 13/10/2015 22:03

Cancel. He doesn't deserve it.

ExitPursuedByABear · 13/10/2015 22:03

I despair.

StackladysMorphicResonator · 13/10/2015 22:03

Erm, LTB unless there's a massive back story...

RoseWithoutAThorn · 13/10/2015 22:04

If my DH dared call me a cunt or told me to fuck off he'd know to expect divorce papers shortly. I think there's more to this. However, I certainly wouldn't tolerate my DH speaking to be like that.

honeyroar · 13/10/2015 22:05

Cancel it now. Tell him. Then book or buy yourself an expensive treat instead.

Sounds like he gets his loving, caring genes from his family!

Theoldcauliflower · 13/10/2015 22:06

No way would I be making a fuss on his birthday, what a absolute dick!!