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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think people enjoy moaning about things they could easily change?

116 replies

Trippedinmuck · 10/10/2015 20:25

I've just come home from a "friends" house, we had a discussion that went sort of like this:
"Youre so lucky being a SAHM, I'm sick of working all the hours God sends and not seeing my little girl." she says,
"Work less then" I say,
"I can't afford to work less" she replies,
"I'm sure you could if you gave up a few things"
"Why should I give up anything?"
"Well do you need 2 fortnight holidays abroad a year? Theres £10000 saved. Do you need this 3 bed semi when theres only you and you daughter? Move nearer work and pay less than £800 each month. get a cheaper to run car because you're an office worker and not a farmer, I don't think you need a 4x4, theres another £3k a year saved. do you need the massive sky package? You don't watch sport, theres £100 a month plus saved, do you need to shop with Ocado? surely Tescos is cheaper?"
"Oh no, I don't want to give up holidays, car, house, sky, Ocado etc"
"Then stop moaning"

Lmfao and smfh. Grin

OP posts:
RandomMess · 10/10/2015 20:32

Yep when people have choices they could make but don't want to make them Confused drives me crazy.

Leavingsosoon · 10/10/2015 20:36

Gosh, you speak to your friends like that?

Or did you just think it?

usual · 10/10/2015 20:37

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Spartans · 10/10/2015 20:37

Yanbu. When it's stuff people can change it pisses me off.

Dbro and sil always moan about money. They mentioned the other day that between sky to, netflicks etc they spend over £130pcm, over £100 on mobiles (they had to have the new I phone each) have 3 or 4 long weekends abroad etc. I actually told them they aren't 'poor' as they say they are, they have spent up. There is a difference.

CrapBag · 10/10/2015 20:39

She must have an amazingly well,paid job if she can afford all that as a single parent.

YANBU though. I hate anyone who doesn't actually need a large vehicle driving those stupid 4x4s around, most people don't go off roading or have a lot of children, it's just a status thing.

Your friend is ridiculous if she spends that amount of money on all that wasteful crap and is moaning she doesn't see enough of her DD. I wonder what her DD would choose, ocado and sky sports or a mum at home more.

Spartans · 10/10/2015 20:40

And yes I do tell dbro to shut up moaning. He doesn't help himself and yet expects us all to listen to him and feel sorry for him. Eventually he gets told. He shrugs and moves on to moaning about something else

CrapBag · 10/10/2015 20:42

I don't hate the people who drive 4x4s, that didn't come out right, I hate it when people drive them who clearly don't need them.

I have friends who moan about being skint etc but either have more children, don't move them to a closer school and completely rely on cars that break down frequently, and constantly fritter money away on bits of crap. If you will fritter all the time, you cannot complain about being skint! And if you are skint, how come you can fritter so much. Makes no sense.

usual · 10/10/2015 20:43

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Floppy5885 · 10/10/2015 20:45

Drives me crazy too!

Runningupthathill82 · 10/10/2015 20:46

Off on a tangent here, but until a couple of weeks ago I had no IDEA Sky was so expensive. We just have a freeview tv, no subscription to anything.
Anyway, at work, someone started saying their sky package had gone up to £90 a month and they were pissed off. Then everyone else chips in and it soon becomes clear that I'm virtually the only one there who doesn't pay at least 50-odd quid a month for tv. It's bonkers.

CrapBag · 10/10/2015 20:47

What does that have to do with anything usual?

I have a cousin who is moaning about no money a lot. She is managing to save for a wedding abroad though. Which isn't necessary even though she thinks it is because it's cheaper than getting married here apparently. Well no, you don't have to spend thousands to get married in this country, I think it's more about not having to organise a wedding and they know they people they want there are happy to fork out thousands to attend so no work for them. Which is fine if that's what you want but don't moan about not having money.

Fratelli · 10/10/2015 20:49

I think we're all guilty of this from time to time Wink

Trippedinmuck · 10/10/2015 20:49

I'm not a single parent, my partner works.

My friend works as a manager for a large company and earns enough but I know how much che sees her 8 yo, it amounts to about 3 hours a day. She drops her off early to her Mums and picks her up after 7pm and gets her home and to bed by 8.30. She then works 6 days most weeks, sometimes 7. She has lovely clothes, nice house, nice car etc. But, here's what really annoys, she barely knows her daughter.

For her daughters 8 birthday (about 4 months ago) she bought her endless amounts of My Little Pony stuff. Her LO hasn't liked MLP since she was 6. :(

Whats the point of having all the nice "Stuff"? I'd rather having nowt but know my LO inside and out.

OP posts:
usual · 10/10/2015 20:50

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Leavingsosoon · 10/10/2015 20:50

I'd rather have Stuff.

DC are quite dull until they are about 6, really.

Floppy5885 · 10/10/2015 20:51

We live quite a modest life (like many of my friends). I don't understand the mindless consumption of commercial goods. Yes it's nice to have the odd treat but things don't bring happiness

RandomMess · 10/10/2015 20:53

One person was moaning about they are struggling to afford their water rates (very high) and council tax I suggested they went on to a metre and got lots of water butts for use on their large garden. They don't want to Confused . I just think if you can't afford your very nice large house in a very nice town in a particularly nice area bl**dy move - you have options/choices Confused

ssd · 10/10/2015 20:54

sounds like its not so much earning lots of money and having things, its about your friend choosing not to spend much time with her dd and letting her mum do the parenting stuff.

Leavingsosoon · 10/10/2015 20:54

If this had been a thread about benefits, we would have had comments about jealousy, OP not being very nice, judgemental, how does she know her friends finances so well and You Can't Just Move. Yet someone who is actually provide for their child is fair game, it seems.

Moln · 10/10/2015 20:56

A two week holiday costs £10,000?

Shock
usual · 10/10/2015 20:58

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Backforthis · 10/10/2015 20:59

Apparently it's £5,000 for each trip or one adult and one child.

I don't believe this actually happened. Or that you have friends.

RandomMess · 10/10/2015 21:00

I think I find it difficult to have sympathy for people whinging "woe is me" because I've had to make very tough life decisions, both financial and family/relationships. It's not about what decisions other people make it's the moaning that they couldn't possible do anything about their situation when they could relatively quite easily.

Another colleague one, "I can't go part time because I'm the breadwinner now". One child in a 5 bed house, over £600k in equity and only 5 years left on a very small mortgage.

Guess what folks you can't have your cake and eat it!!!

Trippedinmuck · 10/10/2015 21:01

Don't get me wrong, I don't know the in and outs of her finances. But after you've heard,
"I'm going to Las Vegas for 3 weeks, its only costing me £6000 for me and LO to go"
Or,
"Do you like my new car? It's on a finance package, £400 a month and £300 a month to insure, nice isnt it?"
You kind of get a few ideas what costs what.

I'm also not jealous, she works hard, she puts in the time and if that's what she wants to do then go for it. Don't moan though, seems a little silly. Be like me hitting myself in the head and moaning it hurts.... And still carry on hitting myself. Confused

OP posts:
CatMilkMan · 10/10/2015 21:11

Either you speak to your friends like shit and you are looking for a chance to rant or this didn't happen.