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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think MH stigma is embedded in our language

90 replies

AliceScarlett · 03/10/2015 22:20

I use the word "crazy" too much. I wouldn't call anyone else crazy, but I do use it when describing weird behaviour.

I notice words like "unhinged", " psycho", "schizo" being used for people who are either ill or eccentric and it all bothers me. I'm bothered.

When describing or labeling someone I don't want to say "they sound like they have MH issues" because I don't know if they do and its pathologising. But I don't want to say "they sound crazy" because I think thats offensive.

I've started to say "thats absurd" which feels alright. Maybe I should stop labeling people all together and that's the answer. (I'm talking about doing it in my head or with DH, i don't go around calling people names).

Really don't know.

Disclaimer: Yes I care about being PC, yes I think it's important.

This post is a bit scrambled, I'm tired.

OP posts:
Prettyinblue · 03/10/2015 22:27

I use bonkers, crazy, mental etc but know I shouldn't. I'm bipolar, not that that should make a difference,

YANBU It bothers me too.

shoopshoopsong · 03/10/2015 22:30

yanbu and I struggle to find alternative even though I hate words like crazy

FarelyKnuts · 03/10/2015 22:30

I often use 'quirky' or 'unusual' as those kind of filler words.

Imustgodowntotheseaagain · 03/10/2015 22:32

Yanbu. And many of our insult words come from mh stigma - moron, retard, nutter....

Original poster
AliceScarlett · 03/10/2015 22:33

Quirky and unusual, they are good ones.

I like applying the term "bat shit crazy" to myself, don't know why I find it funny, I just do.

OP posts:
mileend2bermondsey · 03/10/2015 22:34

YANBU.

Not quite the same thing but look at the way the word 'depressed' is thrown around this forum and society in general. The use of the word depressed as a synonym for sad is incredibly ignorant and dismissive

SaucyJack · 03/10/2015 22:39

I like cray-cray meself.

lemonade30 · 03/10/2015 22:41

I always veer on the side of 'fucked up' as I don't believe its as yet been classified in the DSM-IV

HTH Smile

JohnCusacksWife · 03/10/2015 22:42

I notice words like "unhinged", " psycho", "schizo" being used for people who are either ill or eccentric and it all bothers me

I see the opposite. I can't recall hearing these words used to describe anyone with genuine MH problems recently (in the past, yes). I think people are generally more aware of what they are saying. I think some words, like crazy or nutter, are slightly different as they have different connotations in different situations and are not necessarily offensive when used in context.

Original poster
AliceScarlett · 03/10/2015 22:47

Lemonade That's funny. Happy to have been helpedGrin

I saw someone use psycho on AIBU today, but you're right, generally people are using these words less.

OP posts:
manicinsomniac · 03/10/2015 22:48

I know what you mean but I think I think you are being unreasonable.

The problem is, a lot of loose mental health terminology has a dual meaning.

Behaviour/a person can be weird, unusual, nuts, mental, crazy, psycho, batshit, bullcrap, fucked up, loopy, loony etc etc with or without mental illness being present.

A person can be anxious, depressed, obsessive or generally down with or without anxiety, depression or OCD being present.

I wouldn't use more specific MH terminology in an inappropriate context - eg, I'm feeling really bipolar today = no, this is so depressing = yes. you're schizophrenic = no, you're mental = yes.

I have quite a range of mental illnesses myself but I sometimes worry that actually makes me more dismissive and intolerant of mental illness rather than less - which I think is part of my personal crazy Wink

Original poster
AliceScarlett · 03/10/2015 22:56

I don't like "you're mental", sounds really.... Judgemental. Sorry, I disagree with you, i don't see how someone can be " psycho, nuts" etc and that's fine to say.....

OP posts:
Original poster
AliceScarlett · 03/10/2015 22:58

Another thing I hate is "you really need to get some help" framed as an insult Angry

OP posts:
RainbowFlutterby · 03/10/2015 23:00

I have come to the conclusion that every time I open my mouth someone will find something to be offended by.

JohnCusacksWife · 03/10/2015 23:03

I told my DD she was nuts today when she was making us laugh by opera singing during dinner. It doesn't mean she's mentally ill nor is it a derogatory description - it just means she's acting daft/funny/quirky etc etc. Words have different nuances in different situations. I really think you're overthinking this.

lemonade30 · 03/10/2015 23:03

Ditto 'sick in the head'

Oh sorry. so I'm entitled to be ill in myriad anatomical parts, just in my head?

Please do kindly fuck off.

lemonade30 · 03/10/2015 23:03

'Just not in my head'

MorrisZapp · 03/10/2015 23:04

I've had a very tough bout of depression in the past but I can't work up much concern about this. Depression doesn't just mean mental illness. It means all sorts of other things too, including weather and economics related terms. People can feel down, anxious, depressed, panicked etc without being actually ill. Those words describe moods as well as illnesses.

Original poster
AliceScarlett · 03/10/2015 23:05

Too true Lemonade, too true.

OP posts:
TabithaTwitchEye · 03/10/2015 23:10

I try to describe the behaviour rather than the person, if that makes sense? Still very tricky though

manicinsomniac · 03/10/2015 23:14

I don't like "you're mental", sounds really.... Judgemental. Sorry, I disagree with you, i don't see how someone can be " psycho, nuts" etc and that's fine to say.....

Again, I can totally see where you're coming from but to me it just isn't offensive. Maybe it's because I apply that kind of terminology to myself more often than to anyone else so it seems normal, I don't know. But it's safe to me. And maybe a little minimising. It's how I would communicate to a close friend that I need some help - 'can we get a coffee at the weekend, I'm going mental again and can't snap out of it' 'sorry, ignore me, just having a psycho moment' - that kind of thing. It feels easier and less shameful than saying 'I'm entering a manic phrase and need support' or 'I'm sorry for my behaviour today, it was completely borderline personality disorder of me'.

I like that 'mental' etc can mean literally mental and just behaving strangely. It seems to stigmatise mental health problems less rather than more. In my head anyway.

capsium · 03/10/2015 23:19

All 'insult terms' are derogatory and offensive. I cannot really think of any nice ones. Some compare people to animals, pigs, dogs, rats etc ...effectively dehumanising that person or conversely unfairly associating an animal with bad behaviour.

I don't agree with crazy, mad, stupid, idiotic etc either. Best to stay away from name calling really & just speak specifically in terms of exactly what has upset you, as the needs requires.

MummySparkle · 03/10/2015 23:22

Yanbu

I have a lot of mental health issues and it really annoys me when people use mental health terminology to describe things that aren't related to mental health. " I'm a bit OCD about " really really gets my goat. No, up are not ocd about it, you just like things to be a particular way. Do you have intrusive thoughts about it? Does it make you unbearably anxious? No? Well then you are just particular about having your books the right way up on the bookcase. You do not have OCD. Stop trivialising a potentially debilitating mental health diagnosis.

I also don't like people saying 'I'm depressed today' when actually they are sad.

I don't mind so much about crazy or nuts, in fact I don't mind words use as adjective so long as they are not diagnoses.

Original poster
AliceScarlett · 03/10/2015 23:22

'I'm sorry for my behaviour today, it was completely borderline personality disorder of me'

Ha! If I also didn't hate the term "personality disorder" I would so say this.

I'll say "I'm just being mental" because saying "I'm being unwell" isn't warranted for the situation, but I want to describe that my behaviour as out of the ordinary for me. But I wouldn't say "I'm just being quirky". Because that sounds quite up myself. I need some new words.

OP posts:
jorahmormont · 03/10/2015 23:24

I'm okay with 'batshit', 'cray-cray', etc. 'Nuts' I can just about deal with. 'Schiz' irritates me, and a lot of my friends use it to describe themselves when they're angry.

'Psycho', 'sick in the head' etc? No. I hate it, and never hesitate to call people up on using it. I grew up in a tiny village where it was well known that my dad has serious mental health issues, and I was bullied relentlessly in primary school for it, with kids constantly taunting me saying 'your dad's a psycho', 'your dad should be locked up, he's sick in the head'. These are six and seven year olds.

If I caught DD or any future DCs using phrases like that, I'd be every bit as annoyed as if I found out they were using racist or homophobic language. There's no difference IMO.