Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think MH stigma is embedded in our language

90 replies

AliceScarlett · 03/10/2015 22:20

I use the word "crazy" too much. I wouldn't call anyone else crazy, but I do use it when describing weird behaviour.

I notice words like "unhinged", " psycho", "schizo" being used for people who are either ill or eccentric and it all bothers me. I'm bothered.

When describing or labeling someone I don't want to say "they sound like they have MH issues" because I don't know if they do and its pathologising. But I don't want to say "they sound crazy" because I think thats offensive.

I've started to say "thats absurd" which feels alright. Maybe I should stop labeling people all together and that's the answer. (I'm talking about doing it in my head or with DH, i don't go around calling people names).

Really don't know.

Disclaimer: Yes I care about being PC, yes I think it's important.

This post is a bit scrambled, I'm tired.

OP posts:
x2boys · 04/10/2015 20:23

And people get very het up on here if somebody says that someone is autistic I never understand why autistic is a bad term and why I should say ds has asd or asc he's severely autistic that's what he is I, m not ashamed of it.

DanglyEarrings · 04/10/2015 22:15

I agree x2boys my adult dd has a personality disorder and other MH conditions and I am quite open about it as it is part of who she is and although she is difficult sometimes she is quite wonderful to me.

I love and accept what she is and no perceived stigma will ever prevent my pride in her strength and determination to get through her troubled life the best way she can. I am proud not ashamed, she faces battles most people do not and she is still here doing her very best.

AgentZigzag · 04/10/2015 22:25

Lovely post Dangly Smile

manicinsomniac · 04/10/2015 23:07

There's a huge difference between autism and a mental health problem though.

Being autistic is a part of a person. It can't and won't ever change and, for many people, they wouldn't want it to if it could. It is permanent. Autism (I believe, I have no direct experience) has many positive things about it as well as the negatives and those with it are often proud to be who they are. It is, in my mind, a disability but I'm willing to accept that, for more high functioning individuals, that's only because society makes it that way.

A mental health problem is not an intrinsic part of a person. It can and in many cases will change and few people want to have their condition. It is often not permanent. There is nothing positive about being mentally ill and nothing to be proud of in it. It is not a disability, though it can be disabling, just as a physical illness can be.

TheNewStatesman · 05/10/2015 03:48

It seems a bit utopian to believe that we could ever have a society in which having a MH problem is somehow seen as being as good/desirable as NOT having a MH problem.

I mean, having a MH problem by definition refers to some kind of disordered thinking--mental processes not working as they should be.

So it's always going to be used as a synonym for things like making bad decision or thinking wrongly about something or other.

Senpai · 05/10/2015 04:04

Being autistic is a part of a person. It can't and won't ever change and, for many people, they wouldn't want it to if it could. It is permanent. Autism (I believe, I have no direct experience) has many positive things about it as well as the negatives and those with it are often proud to be who they are. It is, in my mind, a disability but I'm willing to accept that, for more high functioning individuals, that's only because society makes it that way.

Schizophrenia, Personality Disorders, Anxiety Disorder, Bipolar... All MH problems that are (or can be) permanent. Also... I don't think many people like having an actual disorder or even want it. I have adhd and another undiagnosed LD and I just learn to work around it and accept it. I'm sure it's the same for someone with bipolar, you learn to take your meds and soldier on.

You're in serious denial if you think people with disabilities actually want to have disabilities. You think an autistic person likes being overloaded so that wearing a T-shirt feels like having spiders crawl all over their arms and neck? You think they like or are proud of once again accidentally pissing someone off or hurting a close friend because they didn't know how to show support for their friend in a way that would help?

A mental health problem is not an intrinsic part of a person. It can and in many cases will change and few people want to have their condition. It is often not permanent. There is nothing positive about being mentally ill and nothing to be proud of in it. It is not a disability, though it can be disabling, just as a physical illness can be.

But it is. As kids with LD's or delays grow up their conditions can lessen in severity and they can even function out on their own. Stress can exacerbate them, and routines can make them recede. It's no different than physical disabilities. A kid with CP might be able to run some days and not others. It's not a flat unwavering line. It's really no different than MH problems.

There's nothing to be proud of in having a disability. Don't be naive. It's frustrating, it only works to your detriment, and it does nothing to help you. The name "disability" makes it clear that you are not functioning physically or mentally as well as everyone else. There's plenty to be proud of in overcoming a disability and figuring out a way around obstacles, just like there is in MH problems.

The problem isn't that disabilities are bad, it's that people look at the person with MH problems negatively. The same doesn't happen with someone with cancer. People look at a person with cancer and go "Oh, the cancer is terrible, but the person is still an individual who likes trains or whatever".

Senpai · 05/10/2015 04:12

Hmm.. That comes off as a bit pricklier than I meant it.

Just read it in a neutral tone. Wink

Sallystyle · 05/10/2015 06:01

A mental health problem is not an intrinsic part of a person

I disagree.

It absolutely is for my DH who has bipolar and after 20 years of trying every therapy and med going will never be able to control it enough to live a 'normal' and healthy life.

If he didn't have bipolar he would be a very different person. It is very much who he is.

CrohnicallyAspie · 05/10/2015 06:38

senpai I thought that is what you meant. What I meant was, when the diagnostic criteria are written in terms of negative behaviour, it's no wonder that when people see negative behaviour they think of the disorder.

Besides, if someone was to post 'this person is exceptionally gifted at maths, I think they might be autistic' they would be jumped on for subscribing to the Rainman stereotype.

x2boys · 05/10/2015 07:15

well i would change ds autism if i could he is massivly disabled by it he is non verbal still in nappies goes to a special school if i could change it too right i would doesnt mean i love him any less and am not proud of the small acheivements he does make but i would definatley change it.

Orange1969 · 05/10/2015 07:51

I agree - words like "mad", "crazy", "bonkers", "unhinged" etc are used so freely.

I have bipolar but I know I use words like "crazy" too.

Senpai · 05/10/2015 20:19

senpai I thought that is what you meant. What I meant was, when the diagnostic criteria are written in terms of negative behaviour, it's no wonder that when people see negative behaviour they think of the disorder.

Yes.. this is true. It's not a disorder or illness unless it's affecting your life negatively. It's also true that a person doesn't think a kid with cancer is healthy.

What I'm trying to say is that with mental issues, people look the person negatively, but with physical health problems people look at the illness negatively while still seeing the person in a positive light.

When a person is acting strange it's either a negative "They must have MH" or a patronizingly dismissive "They must have MH and can't help themselves" and then give up on the person.

But I do get what you're saying. It's easier to separate and fight a disease that only affects your body, than it is to fight one that affects your brain and therefore your personality.

CrohnicallyAspie · 05/10/2015 20:45

I don't tend to read posts like that, maybe that's just me being naive?

When I read a post that says maybe they have MH problems, I don't read it as patronising or 'they can't help themselves'. I read it as 'don't judge them too harshly, maybe they really are trying but it doesn't come as easily for them'.

Aridane · 05/10/2015 21:18

What I'm trying to say is that with mental issues, people look the person negatively, but with physical health problems people look at the illness negatively while still seeing the person in a positive light.

^

THIS

AliceScarlett · 05/10/2015 22:27

^ 100% This ^

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page