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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Visiting the office with new baba

81 replies

Prettyeyedpiratesmile · 22/09/2015 19:38

I've sat in work and listened to the women in the office debate this ALL day and I want some mumsnet thoughts.....I will say from the outset that I'm kind of on the fence with this one. So here goes....

One of the girls finished up in April for Maternity leave (while I was still on Mat leave) and the girls really went all out for her. I was happy to contribute as they'd done the same for me a few months prior. Beautiful thoughtful gifts for her and baby and a lovely lunch for her. We're a friendly team and while we don't hang about out side work we often go for lunch and generally just have a good working relationship. The crux of the matter is that some of the women are PISSED off that she's not brought dd in to the office since she's had her. i brought my DS in and previous new mums have done the same. I'm not that bothered and thinks she wants a clean break but some people seem to feel a bit agrieved that they spent so much money and put time and effort into her leaving presents and do and she's not introduced us to the baby. Is this unreasonable?! I've been wondering this all day! Confused

OP posts:
Enb76 · 22/09/2015 19:41

I hate it when people bring in their babies so I would be pleased that she hadn't come in. I'm a miserable cow though. I only went in with mine because I was actually headed off to lunch with one of my best friends who worked at the same place.

LynetteScavo · 22/09/2015 19:42

I've always thought no one was really interested when babies were brought it.

Obviously it's different where you work.

whois · 22/09/2015 19:43

I've always thought no one was really interested when babies were brought it.

Same!

Original poster
Prettyeyedpiratesmile · 22/09/2015 19:43

lynette me too! But some of the wine are older and they seem to find it the height of bad manners Hmm

OP posts:
Original poster
Prettyeyedpiratesmile · 22/09/2015 19:43

Wine Blush I mean women

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 22/09/2015 19:44

Her baby, her choice. They don't have a right to expect her to do anything.

fuzzywuzzy · 22/09/2015 19:44

I don't think she is.

It's such a faff, and everyone has work to do. I love seeing knew babies being bought in to work. However it would not offend me if the new parents decided not to do it.

I wouldn't do it, the thought makes me shudder, travelling on the tube with a baby taking it to work. By I don't like being the centre of attention.

babymouse · 22/09/2015 19:47

I agree with pp, her baby her choice - but -

I like it when babies are brought in!

CheekyMaleekey · 22/09/2015 19:48

I thought most people found it a bit tiresome, when babies are brought into the office

Original poster
Prettyeyedpiratesmile · 22/09/2015 19:50

Not these women....I'm surprised they've not phoned her to ask when she's coming in Grin

OP posts:
eatingworms · 22/09/2015 19:53

I never brought either of mine in, didn't occur to me that people would be annoyed about that! I just don't want to mix work and family to be honest. I hate it when people bring theirs in, we'rev all expected to coo over them when actually we have loads of work to do. No thanks.

notquiteruralbliss · 22/09/2015 19:54

I only brought mine in because I had a work meeting when she was 3 weeks old. Handed her to a 20 something (male) member of my team and legged it to a meeting. It wouoldn't have occurred to me to bring her in just to meet people.

goodasitgets · 22/09/2015 19:56

Majority bring babies in to ours. One only seems to sleep when she is brought in, must recognise our voices Grin
Although someone brought a puppy in and that was much more fun!

Oysterbabe · 22/09/2015 19:56

I don't think she's rude, it's up to her.
I love it when people bring their babies in though Grin

wtfih · 22/09/2015 19:59

I haven't taken mine in yet because she screams bloody murder every time we go out. Also I feed on demand and by the time I would get to work she'll probably want to be fed and she'll be all cranky.
All the babies brought in while I've been there have been very well behaved. I know my one will cause a scene because that's what she normally doesBlush
I hope my colleagues are not considering me rude. However, I emailed and apologised saying she's not ready yet Blush

Limer · 22/09/2015 20:01

Not keen on babies visiting the office. Isn't there a huge health & safety issue there?

zeezeek · 22/09/2015 20:05

Although someone brought a puppy in and that was much more fun!

Agree. MUCH prefer puppies to babies. Seen one baby, pah, seen them all. Now puppies..... Grin

Bulbasaur · 22/09/2015 20:05

You don't give gifts with strings attached. They gave a gift for a new baby, they aren't owed anything more than a thank you.

That said, I never really cared one way or another when someone brought their baby in. It was just a "Oh, how cute!" and then back to work. Some people loved it and fawned over the baby, others just ignored it completely and gave a polite well wish if they were approached or crossed paths.

Most people I work with are on my facebook so they saw all the pictures of DD when she was born, and updates as I had time to post them. You don't really need to do much more than that.

Our office did a quick email that showed a picture of the new baby that included everyone on the team to share the good news. There was never pressure to bring them in though.

Sparklingbrook · 22/09/2015 20:05

When people brought babies into work it stopped everyone working, and the screeching wasn't good for the folk making phone calls.

If i saw one arrive I would say a quick hello then go and busy myself down in the archives til the coast was clear.

Autumnnights1 · 22/09/2015 20:06

She doesnt have to bring the baby in at all. Why?

Rainbunny · 22/09/2015 20:07

We must be an unfriendly bunch in my office as none of us enjoy the "new baby" visit. I know we all feel this way because a colleague did bring her baby in a while back and after a brief "How are you doing? Baby is cute etc..." we all went back to work. We found out later from another colleague that the mother was pissed that none of us showed much interest in her pfb.

I don't think it's reasonable to feel entitled to a visit from the mother and her new baby though.

blibblobblub · 22/09/2015 20:07

Um, they definitely sound unreasonable. It's her baby, she can do what she wants. She probably doesn't want to be thinking about work!

I went on leave in April and had DD in May. I've taken her in once, when she was about 4 weeks old, for about 10 mins until she cried for a feed and we left pretty hurriedly.

Like, I love it when people bring babies in, but I feel so awkward doing it myself. Everyone in my work takes a lot of phone calls, and my team sit at right at the end of the office, and trying to work it round lunch breaks and everything...agh. No. Too much hassle!

ForChina · 22/09/2015 20:08

I took my baby in because I wanted to show him off. Worked from home with the second one so didn't. I worked in a big clucky office full of women who were mostly a little older than me so I knew that the baby would be well received. except for by one nasty cow who got her revenge for me being promoted over her by blanking my baby lol

I don't think anyone is obliged to do it though! I didn't take my children around every person who sent a card or gift. And, you know, it's a little person not some kind of pass-around toy!

CassieBearRawr · 22/09/2015 20:13

Can't think of anything worse. I'd smile politely and say hi to the new parent then fuck off to get on with my work.

OctoberCupcake · 22/09/2015 20:13

When you say she wants to make a 'clean break' does that mean she's left for good? In that case no I don't think it's unreasonable for her to not come back in.

If she's coming back though... I don't know. A (male) colleague of mine brought his 6 week old in recently, primarily because he'd been pestered to death by the Women in our small office. Mind you his is the first baby among the staff for a decade at least. Possibly longer. We all got a bit overexcited.