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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset that we can't afford to take the kids on holiday?

190 replies

exactchange · 12/08/2015 22:20

We have no mobile contracts just payg, don't smoke don't drink much (have never been to the pub since we moved nearly a year ago), but we never seem to be able to afford to take our dcx2 to nice places for a treat - no beach, no playhouse, no weekend away, not even camping. I see pictures of my ds1 friends (and parents obviously!) on Facebook and see their happy little faces and wish I could give those kind of memories to my own children. I feel we are sheltering them too much, they need more life experiences and I worry it will hold them back as it has me (only been abroad one day in my life with school) and they deserve so much more. Am I being silly in feeling this way?

OP posts:
Purplepoodle · 12/08/2015 22:25

it doesn't have to be fancy or even away. Picnic in the park, local museums, building forts in the sittingroom, making cars from cardboard box's then having them sit in them while watching a movie and eating popcorn like a drive through, paddling pool with washing up liquid, making play doh. kids like doing stuff with you, location isn't that important to them

maggieryan · 12/08/2015 22:31

I agree with above post. Plenty of free places to go. Kids will remember fun and laughter in years to come but not the exact holiday. We never went anywhere as kids, just a few day trips to the beach/park but I rember feeling loved and having fun x

bearleftmonkeyright · 12/08/2015 22:31

You are not being silly but social media can be a nightmare for making you feel this way, whatever it is you do with your kids. You will get there. At this time of year facebook feeds are full of this sort of stuff. We are going to Scotland this year on a wing and prayer with a second hand caravan (£450 cost) and a knackered old car (s reg vw passat). My oldest is 13 and they have never been abroad. It won't hold them back, just doing fun things together like picnics in the park and just having fun are what my DC remember. We have never had the money too do much else. Try not too worry.

UrethraFranklin1 · 12/08/2015 22:33

Well thats life, isn't it. Some people have more money than others, just the way it is.
We save throughout the year to have a holiday as we prioritise it over other things.

DIYandEatCake · 12/08/2015 22:34

Yabu. I didn't have a 'holiday' til my teens but loved going to stay with my grandma every summer - do you have any relatives you/the kids could visit? And you could plan something for next year, if money is really really tight - if you put aside even £2 a week you'd have enough for a cheap visit to the seaside. The Sun do a £10 holiday offer every year, and if you book way in advance you can get travelodge/premier inn rooms for £20 a night. If you don't have a car, train fares can be a lot lower booked in advance too. There are plenty of places you can visit for free to broaden your kids' horizons - even if you live in a city, there will be nature reserves, parks, museums etc, you can take a picnic and have a free 'day out'. I know it sucks being poor (from experience) but if you're creative your kids don't need to miss out.

Dowser · 12/08/2015 22:35

No your not silly at all. You love your kids and you want them to have lovely treats like so many other children in the uk have.

That's not silly . That's just being a good parent.

I really really feel For all the financially distressed parents today. Often working all the hours and are like ships that pass in the night to keep a roof over their heads and food on the table.

Where did it all go so wrong. I don't remember it being like that back in the fifties.

My dad was on a modest wage. Mum kept house yet we managed two cheap holidays a year. One a b and b on the south coast and the other a week with relatives in Wales. They were great and happy times and I have lovely memories.

You say you have no money for treats.do you not live near a beach or can't take advantage of some cheap offers to get them away for a day trip.

Not quite the same I know but will help to put down happy memories.

Needaninsight · 12/08/2015 22:38

Uretha Crap post.

We also can't afford to have holidays, and it's not because we prioritise other things over it!

We don't have spare money to save for a holiday. I'm presume OP is the same. How the hell do you prioritise over bills and food money?!

Sallyhasleftthebuilding · 12/08/2015 22:38

I went abroad at 30! I'm normal -most if the time- we were happy with a rake out once a year. collect Tesco vouchers, start a penny jar for a weekend treat, camp in the garden, buy a train ticket to the next town, join scouts/brownies as people said lots of free stuff around too. Stop looking at Facebook!

maggieryan · 12/08/2015 22:39

Compassionate as usual uretheafranklin....Hmm

Dowser · 12/08/2015 22:39

Are you near Wales. A lot of the attractions are free there. St Fagans outdoor museum outside of Cardiff is fantastic and well worth a visit if you are anywhere near there.

bearleftmonkeyright · 12/08/2015 22:41

I think the biggest problem parents have is the astronomical bloody prices you have to pay in the Summer holidays. You have to be reasonably well off to afford a holiday in this country let alone abroad. (although as another poster has said Sun holidays are worth a look) Everyone needs a holiday I think, we have always camped (of course now upgraded to a luxorious caravan) but even if the weather has been crap (and it usually is) it is great to get away as a family. My DP has always made holidays a priority and we used to fight about it at times but I am glad we had all those holidays when the DC were little even if we were damp. They have such good memories of the times we spent away.

Dowser · 12/08/2015 22:41

I know someone that does the sun holidays. Usually works out about £80 for the week by the time this and that is added on. She says haven parks are very good.

Dowser · 12/08/2015 22:45

What scares me is the prices of attractions you need to pay for. A mum and her 7 year old paid £30 to go to wookey hole recently.

Definitely not worth it.

Thirty pounds would have gone a long way at the beach I think.

We took my grandson to a theme park. It was £28 for him and free for us otherwise we couldn't have done it. Grandparents over 60 were free with a full price child.

Parents with three children would have paid £135!!!!

Madness. Plus petrol, drinks, ice cream and food!

Sparklingbrook · 12/08/2015 22:47

I have a friend who always claims holidays are 'essential' and spends ££££s on them. Then moans that she needs a new bathroom/kitchen whatever. Confused

Don't worry too much about the memories, we went on a UK beach break every year growing up. DB can't remember a single one of them.

Dowser · 12/08/2015 22:50

Although I agree that travelodges can be excellent value if you have to eat out it really runs away with the money,especially with a couple of kids.

If you can be super organised and choose one near a supermarket you could take picnics.

ollieplimsoles · 12/08/2015 22:54

UrethraFranklin1 >slow claps< well aren't you good. The op has already said they don't do anything else. The post was more about seeing other families on fb and feeling bad.

OP- don't worry kids really don't need alot, the best holidays we had as DC were the short, cheap ones. what about camping?

Sallyhasleftthebuilding · 12/08/2015 22:55

We have a woodland near us with a river running through It. There are a few rope swings, we take food drinks and spare clothes, and a camera, great day out. Look at woodland walks. Where are you?

TooOldForGlitter · 12/08/2015 22:56

You're not being silly but don't read too much into social media. It's never really real. There's SO much you can do for free. We've no money and aren't having a holiday this year, again! I'm off work this week and so far we've gone to the park and taken our own sandwiches and gone on a big long woodland walk, where I know there's a huge very unsafe tyre swing, and all been on that and paddled in the river. Don't let yourself feel like you can't do stuff just pack some butties and get out!

Georgina1975 · 12/08/2015 22:56

Growing-up my parents took us on holiday abroad that they couldn't really afford. I am sure it shaped/enhanced my life in many ways. Couldn't specify how though. But my best memories are the 1-2 a year Mum took me to Littlewoods for a (very cheap) sausage and bean lunch and to the (free) local museum after. That was 30 years ago!

Point is, as made upthread, is having fun and spending time with you that counts.

Oh. And mum told me as I got older how stressful those holidays were and it would have been better to stay at home. I know what she means now I have my own DC!

TooOldForGlitter · 12/08/2015 22:59

Don't let the weather put you off either. We're lucky that it's beautiful here at the moment but this is rare (Lancashire). I don't know how old your kids are but even older ones can't resist tramping in mud in wellies and having the whole wet park to themselves because everyone else is at home.

Charis1 · 12/08/2015 23:02

why can't you afford camping?

Cabrinha · 12/08/2015 23:06

As others have said, loads of free stuff to do!

Growing up I went on holiday about 5 times, always on the train (we had no car) to a friend of my parents' house.

I went abroad once at 15 on a school French exchange.

I've now lived in 4 European countries and I'm typing this from a 5th that I commute week on week off to.

Being short on cash won't hold them back! Fostering an interest in seeing and doing things and going to places works just as well with the free options.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 12/08/2015 23:07

Tesco vouchers are great for days out and meals out. Camping can be cheap if you can get hold of some gear.

Whereabouts do you live OP? People might know of some cool free stuff nearby.

Cabrinha · 12/08/2015 23:08

Charis camping is often a cheap option but it's still not free!

As a child my parents couldn't have afforded a tent or had they borrowed one, still at times couldn't have afforded the trip.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 12/08/2015 23:12

Camping can be free though, if you borrow gear and wild camp. My teens often camp with friends in the woods near us.