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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset that we can't afford to take the kids on holiday?

190 replies

exactchange · 12/08/2015 22:20

We have no mobile contracts just payg, don't smoke don't drink much (have never been to the pub since we moved nearly a year ago), but we never seem to be able to afford to take our dcx2 to nice places for a treat - no beach, no playhouse, no weekend away, not even camping. I see pictures of my ds1 friends (and parents obviously!) on Facebook and see their happy little faces and wish I could give those kind of memories to my own children. I feel we are sheltering them too much, they need more life experiences and I worry it will hold them back as it has me (only been abroad one day in my life with school) and they deserve so much more. Am I being silly in feeling this way?

OP posts:
lostinikea · 13/08/2015 11:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ArcheryAnnie · 13/08/2015 11:25

Charis1 I forgot to add towels and toiletries to the list. And probably a bunch of other stuff.

lilacblossomtime · 13/08/2015 11:27

As the OP hasn't been back we can't tell if she is in complete poverty, or maybe she is seeing friends holidays on FB and feeling she can't afford something like that. For people on a low budget, but with just a little spare money some of these suggestions are excellent.

Charis1 · 13/08/2015 11:33

A typical advert on "preloved" there are many many secondhand cheap and free tents available.

large old family tent
Advertised by DB62, a Preloved member since Sep 2014. List all my ads

Details

Advertiser Type Private Price: Free Updated: 6 days ago
Description

FREE to anyone willing to collect, old style family sized tent. not used for many years but was inspected last year. No pegs.

Charis1 · 13/08/2015 11:38

Is a desire for "luxurious and extravagant" camping really what stops some people from doing it?

sorry, don't see your point. I was pointing out it is perfectly possible, but have also said repeatedly that it isn't for everyone, and if you don't think you can pull off a cheerful act to keep the kids happy when it is tough going, then don't do it.

Have just, in 10 minutes, found 4 offers of free tents in my area, it isn't lack of money that stops people camping. Anyone can afford it. If you can afford to sit in your living room your can afford to sit in a tent in a field, it doesn't have to be any more expensive. Of course, it can be as expensive as you want it to be.... We have spent quite freely in the last few weeks, a few years ago we wouldn't have been able to do that.

ArcheryAnnie · 13/08/2015 11:41

And I was pointing out it isn't "perfectly possible", even at the most basic, rough level. It isn't physically possible, even when you can borrow tents or have them given free.

You don't seem to grasp this.

Charis1 · 13/08/2015 11:44

And I was pointing out it isn't "perfectly possible", even at the most basic, rough level. It isn't physically possible, even when you can borrow tents or have them given free.

Well, I have done it like that all my life, including throughout the lives of my children, yes we are a minority on campsites, arriving by public transport, as most people have cars, but we have certainly never been the ONLY family.

we frequently meet other families on the way,

some camp sites have special areas and rates for families arriving by public transport.

the last but one campsite we were on this summer ( spent 10 days there) was ONLY for people who travelled by public transport, no cars allowed at all, my favourite type!

soverylucky · 13/08/2015 11:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ArcheryAnnie · 13/08/2015 11:47

You do know that not everyone is identical, yes? Perhaps you are stronger than me, perhaps you sleep better than me, I don't know - but I have said several times I would struggle to carry enough equipment even for the most Spartan of holidays. How lucky for you that this doesn't apply to you, but it does apply to plenty of other people.

People are different! And if they can't do something that you do with ease. it isn't necessarily because they just don't try hard enough, or have sybaritic desires for luxury and extravagance! Who knew!?

Charis1 · 13/08/2015 11:48

You don't seem to grasp this.

you don't seem to grasp that it is completely possible, and very common! If it isn't for you, don't do it, that's fine, but you can't claim it is because you can't afford it, you can afford it, but you don't want to do it.

BarbarianMum · 13/08/2015 11:49

Camping can be cheap (after the first year when you buy the equipment, however basic) but it is never free. Campsite fees are generally £20-£30 a night for a family and food adds up, even if you cook it yourself, because you are buying it in bits and bobs. If you don't have a car the cost of public transport has to be factored in too.

Some people don't have an extra £30+ a day for camping (or for anything else for that matter).

Charis1 · 13/08/2015 11:50

How lucky for you that this doesn't apply to you, I have arthritis, and stick closely to the medical advice I have been given not to carry heavy loads, strength doesn't come in to it.

ArcheryAnnie · 13/08/2015 11:51

I have said nothing about affording it (I could afford it, as I could borrow a tent pretty easily, I think), just I could not manage it, because I could not carry all that stuff on public transport, even at the most basic, sleep on the floor, sit on the floor, eat from a bowl with a single spoon level.

Charis1 · 13/08/2015 11:52

Campsite fees are generally £20-£30 a night for a family it is variable, I have paid this rate once, very grudgingly , because we really wanted to be in that situation. Have just stayed on 4 different campsites, prices ranged from £4 -£12 a night for our family tent.

it is true you limit your choices more if you are looking our for the cheaper sites.

ArcheryAnnie · 13/08/2015 11:53

And amazingly enough I have arthritis too! And I still couldn't carry all that shit, even if you could.

I dunno, I must be so lazy or unmotivated not to want to fuck up my joints.

Charis1 · 13/08/2015 11:54

and food adds up - yes it can do, but cooking from scratch on a fire is part of the fun, if you have a tiny stove you can use minimum fuel, use it to light a firewood once you have started cooking, and eat very simply. Fuel and food wise, it can be cheaper than home.

Charis1 · 13/08/2015 11:57

I dunno, I must be so lazy or unmotivated not to want to fuck up my joints. I don't fuck up my joints, i am very careful with my joints, particularly my back.

i don't think you are lazy or unmotivated. I was explaining that camping is financially viable for anyone, but that doesn't mean it suits everyone. That doesn't make them lazy! I'm sure you do other things with your kids instead

MintJulip · 13/08/2015 11:59

Annie I suppose you could also get a free shopping trolly and try and cart it all in that? or some other types of transporting vessles?

Charis1 · 13/08/2015 12:00

Trying to picture getting the old style tent on a bus with a four year old and a two year old never mind all the other stuff mentioned......

you don't have to get that tent, do you, I posted that because it might suit someone else.

As to getting a 4 year old and a 2 year old on the bus with camping gear, I assure you hundreds of families are doing it all the time!

ArcheryAnnie · 13/08/2015 12:07

Charis1 I appreciate you are trying to convey the wonders of camping to everyone, and I am really glad it has worked out for you and your family. And I've said that when I was younger I did camp - I can build a fire with the best of them, and I hope that my kid (who is as urban a child as is humanly possible) gets that chance someday soon.

But camping isn't financially viable for everyone, however much they might or might not be into it, because of the car issue. Clearly, going on public transport works for you and your kids, but I could not physically do it, even though I could borrow a tent and could afford to pay for a pitch and so on. I could not get even the minimal equipment needed to a campsite on public transport, because I could not physically manage it. I could not go camping unless I had a car to take all that shit with me, and since I don't, I don't go camping.

(Disclaimer: I love public transport! It's all I ever use! But there are some things I cannot manage on it.)

I don't even have that many physical problems, I just have some things I can't do, which include not carrying very much or skipping sleep. Many other people have more restrictions on what they can carry, and smaller children (who need more stuff and who can't carry it themselves).

I hope you continue to enjoy your camping, but please lay off the "it's possible for anyone on tuppence!" thing, because while it may be for you, it really isn't for anyone.

shovetheholly · 13/08/2015 12:07

www.flickr.com/photos/knautia/12819799915

bettyberry · 13/08/2015 12:08

Remember OP, Social media esp FB posts are usually the most polished bits of an other wise dull life. You are only seeing the best bits and more often than not its the best bits of a polished turd ;) (glares at certain friend who bleets abut how her hubby cheats yet plays happy families online)

I get people telling me I haven't lived because I haven't been abroad. When I have done far far more exploring this country for free when they just sit on their backsides in spain eating chips!

I could show you a stream of snaps of the last 8 years full of free experiences and you'd swear it costs a fortune. It doesn't. yes, the standard ones cost a bomb but the best are the ones you find yourself.

swimming unexpectedly in the sea with jellyfish (I live on the coast) was the most recent. Taking advantage of everything your area has to offer is key and unless you explore on foot (walking is free) you wont find it.

ArcheryAnnie · 13/08/2015 12:10

MintJulip I bow to no-one in my love of the shopping trolly and its' newer sister, the wheely luggage, but still there are limits to what you can cram in one.

ghostyslovesheep · 13/08/2015 12:13

yes Camping can be free if you sleep under some tarp in the park Hmm

honestly I camp a lot but I wouldn't do it without chairs and a table and beds and a stove and a tent big enough for 4 of us

it's not a cheap option at all

OP just do little things like picnics, geocaching, nature walks - I spent my childhood doing cheap/free things - it was a lovely childhood.

MotherOfBleach · 13/08/2015 12:17

Where do you live OP? There must be stuff around that is free?

I'm a bit short on cash and we've done loads this last 2 weeks.

Woodland walk - free.
Trip to the beach - £5.60 for 3 ice creams and a bag of chips. I wanted to go to the pub but the kids didn't want to leave the sea.
Adventure playground - free
Fun fair - £40 on rides and candyfloss
Swimming - free for the children, £4.50 for me.

We're going to a family fun day on Sat and Sun. On Sat they have a mini beast zoo - free, meerkats - free and entertainment. On Sunday they have a falconry display and a dog show - both free, yes, there's also fair rides that are not free, but you limit those to what you can afford.

You need to find what your local area has on offer. Have a look at your council's website, most have a "What's on in my town/city" section.