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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be upset that we can't afford to take the kids on holiday?

190 replies

exactchange · 12/08/2015 22:20

We have no mobile contracts just payg, don't smoke don't drink much (have never been to the pub since we moved nearly a year ago), but we never seem to be able to afford to take our dcx2 to nice places for a treat - no beach, no playhouse, no weekend away, not even camping. I see pictures of my ds1 friends (and parents obviously!) on Facebook and see their happy little faces and wish I could give those kind of memories to my own children. I feel we are sheltering them too much, they need more life experiences and I worry it will hold them back as it has me (only been abroad one day in my life with school) and they deserve so much more. Am I being silly in feeling this way?

OP posts:
HormonalHeap · 13/08/2015 05:26

Cannot agree with above posters enough. I asked my children (who are now teens) whether they would have been happier when younger not going on holiday and having their parents together, or going on nice holidays with their parents apart. Answers on a postcard.. So hard in life not take for granted the positive things we have.

Anniesaunt · 13/08/2015 06:48

YANBU OP because it's a natural reaction but you are being way too hard on yourself. Kids need food and shelter but after that the most important thing is feeling loved by their parents. You sound like a caring parent.

urethra I prioritise things over holidays. It's not irresponsible to prioritise rent, council tax, day to day food, clothes for DC, commuting to and from work, heat and light in the house the year round, Internet so I can study to get a better job, get money saving deals, dc can do their homework and we can get extra rainy day entertainment.

Dowser · 13/08/2015 07:43

Someone mentioned saving loose change. I started to save £2 coins. After three years I had £600 approx. I decided to splurge out on my 60th birthday party two years later with £1000. It was great and didn't miss the money.

Maybe op could do that. They are quite rare though as I think the whole country saves them.

I hope op comes back and gives us her thoughts on the suggestions she's had.

Talking about stressful holidays. We've had a few moments. One that sticks in my mind was a beach holiday in Norfolk. We had literally been in the chalet 10 minutes. One child came and said he thought he'd swallowed a biro pen top. So while he was being upended and banged on the back the other burnt his leg on the iron that was abandoned on the floor while other child was being rescued! ( he hadn't swallowed it, he'd dropped it on the floor! Weird) ex husband was shouting ( as usual) and I was crying with relief !

Happy days!

Dowser · 13/08/2015 07:46

Is money just just because you've moved op or has it always been like that? Or have your circumstances changed considerably?

CruCru · 13/08/2015 08:00

Gosh, that does sound hard.

Do bear in mind that people only put the good bits on Facebook.

saresywaresy2 · 13/08/2015 08:02

I've just got myself an extra job in an evening - 3 evenings a week to earn money specifically for holidays because for us they feel like an essential. I agree that they're not and days out are fine but I love to get away. Have a look at supermarkets websites, the shifts can be very family friendly. I'm doing 12 hours a week and I'd normally just be watching telly so I don't mind (too much)

Charis1 · 13/08/2015 08:02

And if you don't already own a tent, and sleeping bags, as a bare minimum, is it free then? No.

well, I'm still using a sleeping bag that cost me less than £20 almost 30 years ago, and our 4 man tent cost us £60, 15 years ago, and has been out more than 50 times, so even bought new, that is only about £1 per trip for the tent, and of course you can buy them second hand.

A 4 man tent can cost anything from £30 up, so just shop around a bit, there are plenty of sales and special offers on at this time of year. eg www.gooutdoors.co.uk/camping/tents/3-4-person-tents

apart from that there are plenty of cheaper tents and sleeping bags second hand, or free on free cycle.

Or petrol to get to a campsite.
Or train fare.

go by bus then?

Camping is not cheap, by the time you fork out for a family sized tent, decent sleeping bags, portable cutlery, table and chairs etc, you could probably have rented a cottage in Devon.

take your own cutlery. I've never taken table and chairs camping!

There are plenty of expensive sites, but there plenty of cheap sites too

ANYONE can afford to camp if they want to. Camping is no more expensive than staying home.

Wanting to is the key, it can be an exciting adventure for children if adults enter into the spirit of it, but horrible to be stuck in a tent in the rain with adults winging.

Artandco · 13/08/2015 08:04

Why does someone need ' camping travel cutlery' can't you just use stuff from home?

We camped loads as kids. Tent was borrowed from grandparents. Then just took duvets and blankets from home, cutlery from home, etc. camping can be as expensive or cheap as you make it. Even now we have money and bought a fancy tent, but still take duvets as cosier.

Op I would def look into camping. If you can save a few £ each week or just fill a box with all change, then by next year you could have enough for a tent. That's really your only essential to start with. Then you would have one to use when ever and can gradually add a camping cooker/ other accessories as time goes on.

chaiselounger · 13/08/2015 08:06

Holidays are not your priority.
This is fine.

chaiselounger · 13/08/2015 08:08

There are free options.
Or have a hunt around, persuade the kids to sell some of their toys that they don't play with as much anymore, and do a car boot. Try and raise enough to go on a sun holiday or similar. May be manageable if you really focus.

BrianButterfield · 13/08/2015 08:09

Can I recommmend looking on Freegle or local Facebook sites for camping stuff? I've seen

bearleftmonkeyright · 13/08/2015 08:10

Camping is not that cheap to the poster who said it. You still have to pay for your pitch, get there (not everyone has a car) and be reliant on reasonable weather (it is pretty difficult to cook in the pouring rain). The times we have been camping I account for £500 for a week all in for a family of five. And thats if you have a family tent! We bought ours off ebay and it was £300. Yes expensive but you can't spend a week in a leaky tent. And of course, sleeping bags, cooking equipment etc, its an investment. Its ridiculous to say oh why can't you afford camping? I am a camping veteran and it always costs money.

BrianButterfield · 13/08/2015 08:10

.(pressed post too soon!)...small tents and some equipment on there recently so over time you could accumulate it all.

NarrativeArc · 13/08/2015 08:13

Can I recommend house sitting?

We currently have a single mum and her child in our house. All she has to do is feed our dogs and walk them. And oversee a few workmen.

For that she gets two weeks in a six bedroom house, overlooking acres of countryside. Oh and we have a pool.

I really really recommend this to anyone wanting a cheap holiday.

dementedma · 13/08/2015 08:13

Sympathies from me OP. I admit to being envious of everyone talking about their holidays this summer. And for all the great suggestions re picnics, fun in the garden etc...here in Scotland it has rained almost every singke sodding day throughout July ( kids broke up end of June). It has been complete and utter shite.

wotoodoo · 13/08/2015 08:16

I think it's nothing to do with money, more imagination is what you need, and a more positive attitude!

What about going on a walk? May be you could offer to take your neighbours' dog out if you don't have one and everyone has a backpack with a rainjacket, water bottle and picnic. You could combine that with blackberry picking or wildlife/flora spotting (take identifying pocket guidebooks with you or download suitable apps before you go)Even if it is just a wood pigeon or kestrel/dandelion or celandine!

Do you have a car? If you do then you could always sleep in that, we have done that with loads of duvets and pillows etc if you don't have sleeping bags. What an adventure, just choose somewhere a bit off the beaten track and away you go.

Do you have bikes? Then look up the byways, bridleways and footpaths in your area and take a picnic and water bottles.

Have you thought about volunteering at an old people's home? Or asking a local farmer if you could see the animals? Going to the local library, they aways have a ton of activities going on, or the local museum.

What about building a den in the garden or in the lounge and may be inviting friends over for a sleepover?

Paper and pen? Plastic containers? To draw or investigate new finds.

Sometimes the simplest things in life are best. A positive attitude and zest is all you need to turn a boring day into an exciting adventure.

saresywaresy2 · 13/08/2015 08:17

We once did a house swap too. I put a message on fb asking if anyone wanted to swap with us, and some friends asked their friends, and we ended up with a week in Devon while that family came up here to cumbria. They were friends of friends so it was fine

Hellionandfriends · 13/08/2015 08:18

Not sure if it's been mentioned but I read the other day that a huge percentage of people find holidays exhausting and stressful.

I would try and think out of the box. Do a house swap? Or think of some fun free day alternatives. Paddling in streams with a picnic for example

Hellionandfriends · 13/08/2015 08:22

Bike rides, free museums and art galleries. Geo-cashing (looking for treasure- look at the website), build your own tent in your lounge or garden, use a fire pit in he local park to have a BBQ

Hellionandfriends · 13/08/2015 08:24

What's holding you back from camping? If it's equipment, I'd put a request out on freecycle or FB for sale, free and unwanted

Hellionandfriends · 13/08/2015 08:25

I'd also wild camp, so no overheads except petrol

slightlyconfused85 · 13/08/2015 08:26

Is it expensive to go to the beach? Pack a picnic and a bucket and spade and that's it right? I guess this depends how far away you are.
Can you look at free activities on in the holidays? I live in a city where there is a free travelling play bus and a few other events put on for the kids

overreactionemoticon · 13/08/2015 08:26

OP it is really hard. I've had several summers of feeling shit because all we've done is go to the park when everyone else is on foreign holidays, at theme parks etc.

This summer I've been really ill so although I could have afforded to do more we still haven't done much.

I'd look at sim only contracts for your mobile maybe. I was putting £20+ on my payg a month. Now I pay £7 for unlimited calls and texts and 500mb data. It depends how much you use it I suppose but I was finding just a couple of essential calls and texts to arrange stuff was burning credit on payg, now I don't have to worry.

LittleLionMansMummy · 13/08/2015 08:28

Oh op Flowers

Borrow a tent, spend a night in the garden. Borrow some more equipment and you can go wild camping - no cost! We have freecycle and something called Facebay near us and we've picked up loads of good free/ cheap stuff. Kids remember fun, good times with the people they love - wherever they are. Tesco rewards have been invaluable to us (both for travel and days out). We are more fortunate than many and do go away for weekends and holidays but we have a caravan so it's a relatively cheap holiday and we do save for it while our house falls down around our ears!

Capricorn76 · 13/08/2015 08:29

Why is money so tight? Has it always been like this or is it a blip? What do you do for work, could you possibly make changes in that area to make more money?