To be upset that we can't afford to take the kids on holiday?

[exactchange]

We have no mobile contracts just payg, don't smoke don't drink much (have never been to the pub since we moved nearly a year ago), but we never seem to be able to afford to take our dcx2 to nice places for a treat - no beach, no playhouse, no weekend away, not even camping. I see pictures of my ds1 friends (and parents obviously!) on Facebook and see their happy little faces and wish I could give those kind of memories to my own children. I feel we are sheltering them too much, they need more life experiences and I worry it will hold them back as it has me (only been abroad one day in my life with school) and they deserve so much more. Am I being silly in feeling this way?

Maybe, just maybe, she is attending to her children or even, at work!!!!

I don't like the assumption that everyone has the money to buy a cheap tent

there are plenty second hand, for under £10

soverylucky if your breaking open the piggy bank to buy food then surely holidays are the least of your worries?

Youth hostelling ... when we were kids we went with a backpack, walked to each one, in the rain, and on the sunny day played in the river. Didnt know till i was older that it was up the road.

Personal insults charis how lovely of you to call me ignorant.
Are you that desparate to prove your point?
id say it's ignorant of soneone to assume the op can afford bus fares and campsite fees.
I've been camping for years and have never pitched a tent for under a tenner a night.

I totally understand what it's like to not have a red cent left over from the daily grind to save for anything let alone a holiday. Been there.

It is always fascinating to see how many people just can't grasp that situation and want to tell you that you're doing something wrong because they can manage to save so surely you must.

I hope things change for you OP. In the meantime you are not being silly or unreasonable.

Getting a year National Trust family pass is very good value, free carparking, entry to beautiful houses, parks, beaches and national treasures like wild swimming places and picnic and kite flying places, so something for every family member.

I have "friends" who make snide comments about the holidays we go on. They claim not to be able to afford holidays either in the uk or abroad, they say they can't even buy their child an ice cream when the van comes.

Yet their Facebook feeds are full of them out drinking.

So I agree with a pp about prioritising, cutting back, switching bills, changing food shopping etc.

I have many friends who are genuinely hard up btw but I hate those who make snide comments about my spending when all they have to do is cut out the fags and beer.

I always thought we couldn't afford a holiday too as I didn't think Haven 'counted' as a holiday. Snob that I was. We went in the Easter holidays and there were strong winds and heavy rain nearly every day and it was the best holiday I've ever had (went all around the world as a child).

You can pay monthly for Haven holidays, interest free. We used ex's maintenance to pay for the above holiday, it was £197 for four nights. You'd be buying a food shop at home anyway so we just did a click and collect order from the nearest Tesco to the caravan park.

Definitely returning next summer - although if anyone could answer ny questions that'd be great?

1. I'm 10 weeks pregnant so if all goes well by next August I'll have a 5 month old. But if i book the holiday now, do I put that child on the booking or not? I'm terrified of jinxing things.

2. Will Haven be survivable with a 5 month old? The others will be 5, 3 and nearly 8 so no problems there.

Sorry for hijack but there's no sign of OP

I didn't have a holiday for my whole childhood, my dad was a get rich quick schemer and we never had money for anything, not only not abroad, but also no UK holidays or overnight stays anywhere.

But I look back on my childhood and remember my mum putting sheets over the dining table to make us a cave, and letting us put toys in there and even a lamp , it was amazing and kept my brothers and I happy for about a week in various guises. I also remember going to the London museums (all free), and to the playground at Battersea Park, paddling pool days, turning the living room into a cinema and my mum coming up with different fun things for us to do everyday. My childhood was amazing, despite no holidays. Facebook can be toxic

Oh, thank goodness you came along, Fearandloathing, or I would have had to write exactly that. It baffles me that some just won't take people at face value: OP has said there's no money to spare. So, there's no money to spare. I tend to credit MN posters who claim to be skint with the curtsey of believing their assessment of their predicament, we are generally, as a collective, pretty switched on. It must be so hurtful to have someone suggest that you are just not trying hard enough, when chances are you are losing sleep over it, having exhausted all possibilities.
I feel for you, OP

And I get that it's natural to want to make helpful suggestions too.

Ledkr, it isn't an insult, it is a statement of the truth. Ignorant means you are unaware of the facts.

It is a fact that it is possible to get all your camping things onto a bus, very easily, you were unaware of that fact. It is a fact that many campsites are served by buses, you were unaware of that fact. it is a fact that it is possible to pitch you tent for well under a tenner, and often for free, you were unaware of that fact.

As I said, there are many different levels of camping, you are obviously camping in a more luxurious and extravagant way, and are unaware ( ie ignorant) of the cheaper levels.

I am not desperate to get any point across, I am providing information, you are the one being rude, why PYL at information that someone else has provided, just because you were unaware of it?

Anyone CAN camp, doesn't mean anyone should, as I've said. You have to be upbeat and cheerful about anything that happens, so the kids enjoy themselves, or there is no point.

Artandco does that really work? I'd have thought most farmers would run a mile from untrained workers helping out on a farm? All that machinery, the insurance would be a nightmare?

We pay £100 for the 5 of us for Haven with the Sun. That includes entertainment passes. I have taken a baby to both Haven and Butlins.

Percy - yes. It obviously depends on what type of farm it is also. A fruit farm for example is far better as stuff needs picking by hand and often little practice. My grandfather owns a smallish free range chicken and goat farm. He actually has built 3 small accomadation pods and has people stay for free in exchange for help. Atm he has a Spanish couple staying 3 months! In exchange they have been helping him build a new goat enclosure, and helping to clean out the animals . He also has fruit trees and they have been helping him make vats of jam. They help around 15 hrs a week each in exchange. This can be a hour one day, or 10 hrs one day, leaving them most the week free to travel and explore area. He said he could charge for accomadation but actual physical help is more beneficial to him now days.

Like the OP is going to want to do farm work when she's on holiday, she may as well stay at home! I can't think of anything worse than having a tent in a middle of a paddock full of cows and sheep. The farm might be in the arse end of nowhere and probably won't be very doable if she relies on public transport.

Yes, you do not need special camping cutlery etc but I wouldn't want to be taking my good (expensive) cutlery to god knows where. And to make it enjoyable you probably would want some outdoor seating.

We didn't have a lot of money when I was a kid eons ago but I had the most amazing childhood because mum and dad spent time with us. We went on picnics in the countryside, to the park, to all the free museums and art galleries. Playing tennis and cricket etc. in the the park or garden. Fires in the garden on summer evenings with good friends. Toasted marshmallows and even jacket potatoes done in the fire. Sleep overs with friends. Arts and crafts with mum. We did go camping every year too but what sticks in my mind wasn't what we did but how happy my mum and dad looked. even though as an adult I now have the money to take my ds to theme parks, zoos and whatever else, a large part of the summer hols is spent doing exactly the same things I did with my parents. Funny enough those are the days he says "I've had the best day ever". Don't feel bad about what you can't give them, focus on things you can do and make them extra special.

I don't camp as although it's theoretically possible to go camping by public transport, I can't physically carry enough to make it comfortable, even though I could probably borrow tents and suchlike. It just isn't worth freezing in a field for me. I can understand camping is fun if you can load pillows, etc, into a car, but not otherwise.

I can understand when there is no money at all, it makes outings very difficult. It sometimes is helpful to see what you already have, that can be repurposed for trips out. Eg, when DS was small, he had a bit of an obsession with the tube map. I was utterly, utterly skint, but happily one of his very favourite treats was to be allowed to choose a tube station to go to that we hadn't visited before - including the ones at the very ends of the lines. We'd go on the tube (I had an oyster for work, and he was still free, so it didn't cost anything extra), we'd have an adventure on the tube, then when we got out the other end we'd have an explore around, buy a bag of chips or a cheap plate of noodles, and then go back home. Now I totally understand that other kids might not be minature transport nerds with an unnaturally high interest in almost anything you put before them have such easily-pleased interests as DS had then, but they might have their own things which it might be possible to satisfy reasonably cheaply, or free.

It also might be worth checking to see if you have any old friends who have moved away, need dogsitting or house-sitting in the holidays. This has been a source of very cheap holidays for us for some years - if you know the dates in advance, then the rail fares you get are SO much cheaper than last-minute fares. (Eg we are going away this weekend - if I bought the train tickets on the day it would cost about £150, but advance fares for two of us were just under £21.)

YY Santas. DB couldn't tell us where we had been or anything. He said he thought he remembered Brixham. We never went there. Mum was

Same here but re DH and far more exotic far flung places like Bali and Thailand - no memory at all.

Op I have started to put £1 to £2 a week for hols. Or even night away. in one of those tins you have to open with a can opener but it works. Its amazing how it adds up.

Do you have a freecyle near you - to get camping gear loads of stuff has been offered on mine, but you have to be quick to get it.

Agree with picnics and inspiring them about wider world even if you cant access it.

We use tesco vouchers lots to pay for our travel and there is NO WAY we could afford train journeys in the UK far too expensive.

I agree on concentrating on what you can do, you can travel in your living room, have an indian day - etc....

I also know of a few families - who have access to travel abroad for dirt cheap and choose to not go instead choosing naff self catering!

archery

the thought of schelping on PT with camping gear is a hideous idea, awful! Not much of a holiday is it.,

you are obviously camping in a more luxurious and extravagant way

Charis1, even camping at the most basic level means:
a tent
a sleeping bag for each person
a sleeping mat for each person
something to cook on
something to eat from for each person (even if just a bowl and spoon)
clothes for each person, including changes of clothes in case you get wet
a change of shoes for each person, in case the shoes they are wearing gets wet
coats even if it is hot when you leave
something to do when it is raining and you have to stay in the tent
enough food and drink for at least the first day

Now if you have a bunch of teenagers, they can all carry their own load. Younger children, and you will have to carry at least some of it for them.

I used to camp when younger with minimal equipment, not even a tent sometimes, just a plastic groundsheet, but that at my age does not sound like a holiday, or something I want to inflict on my kid. I would frankly struggle to carry my own minimal stuff now by public transport, let alone other people's stuff. And I would sleep very badly and not really enjoy it, even if I managed to get the stuff there. The thought of carrying something so basic as a pillow on top of all this stuff just exhausts me.

Is a desire for "luxurious and extravagant" camping really what stops some people from doing it?