Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

2 year olds being taught to pout...

94 replies

The5DayChicken · 06/08/2015 12:34

Fairly sure I'm being judgy and unreasonable but the younger I see this, the more appalled I get.

I know about 4-5 people (not all women) who seem to have instilled adult-style vanity into their young daughters. I've been uncomfortable being around 4-6 year olds who strike model poses on command, complete with pout. There's obviously no good way to raise this and as I'm not particularly close to any of these people (we're in some of the same social circles without being friends ourselves IYSWIM?) it wouldn't be my place anyway.

I've just come back from soft play after meeting some friends and friends-of-friends. One of the friends-of-friends had her 2yo DD with her and spent about 20 minutes getting her DD to pose and pout for the camera. Had a look at FB when I got home and the pictures are on there, in all their uncomfortable glory. I've unfollowed because I really don't want to see such young children trying to look sultry.

Am I the only person who finds this type of thing really inappropriate? What happened to sharing pictures of 2 year olds getting caught red handed in the treat cupboard?

OP posts:

Nabootique · 06/08/2015 12:39

I guess it is judgy, but I don't like it either, so YANBU.

Ahemily · 06/08/2015 12:48

Agree - also find it very odd!

patterkiller · 06/08/2015 12:49

Yeah. SIL and MIL both encourage this with DN, they tell her to dance like Miley. It's horrible.

Nabootique · 06/08/2015 12:50

Having said that, my 5yo did it in a picture the other week and I have never showed her how to, so they pick it up regardless

theendoftheendoftheend · 06/08/2015 12:51

I can't stand it on DN9 never mind a 2yr old.

Tenieht · 06/08/2015 12:54

I've seen 6 year olds twerking, pouting, singing Rihanna "sex in the air I don't care I like the smell of it" in the past. It's so unsavoury but some parents are completely clueless and think it's amusing . It's not. It's foul. The sort of things these kids are exposed to at homes and unfiltered internet use nowadays is just bloody awful.

ProcrastinatorGeneral · 06/08/2015 12:56

My toddler can do a fabulous duckface. He learnt it from the bus rides to and from taking his siblings to school with me. The route also served two senior schools, one co-ed and one girls only, and I suspect if anybody offered him a lipstick or some mascara he'd have a good go at that too. He can now duckface better than the teen girls. Oh the shame:o

Wishful80smontage · 06/08/2015 12:57

dance like Miley :(
Bloody awful. My dsis does this pouting with my niece there's no reasoning with her she can't see whats wrong with it

BawbagBiggins · 06/08/2015 12:57

Hate it - had a 3 year old in the studio for a portrait session the other day and she was pouting and posing all the time - it took me most of the session to teach her how to sit and smile

ProcrastinatorGeneral · 06/08/2015 12:57

We're not a duckfacing household, to clarify. More of a "where the fuck is the hairbrush now?!" house.

patterkiller · 06/08/2015 13:03

I think the duck face is so inappropriate because it looks like the cover of a porn video. I'm sure this is the root of the ridiculous pout. Who on earth would want their two year old emanating a porn star. I'm judging. these people are stupid.

Booboostwo · 06/08/2015 13:05

My 4yo DD does it all, posing, pouting, model walking, etc. I know some of it she has learnt at school but some of it she seems to have picked up out of thin air. We certainly don't encourage her but I am not going to tell her off either.

JohnCusacksWife · 06/08/2015 13:08

Some of DDs friends do cheer. Hate the pictures of them all spray tanned and made up doing that pouty hand on the hip pose.

cariadlet · 06/08/2015 13:08

I tell my 11 year old dd how stupid the pouting looks. I certainly wouldn't have wanted anybody showing her how to do it when she was a toddler. Yuk.

NewFlipFlops · 06/08/2015 13:13

It's gross on young adults let alone little kids. Can't imagine why anyone thinks that expression looks attractive!

OrlyIC · 06/08/2015 13:13

It is absolutely foul and I don't care how judgy I sound, it's damaging little girls because it feeds into the horrific noruin that they only exist to provide pleasure to the straight male gaze. Of course they don't understand this at 2/5/7 etc but ylby the time they do understand it it's normalised.

The hand on hip pose and two girls facing each other, bodies pressed together so the curves of their back and bum show make me want to scream as well.

Sorry. That was really ranty. It just makes me simultaneously angry and sad. :(

Original poster

The5DayChicken · 06/08/2015 13:15

To clarify, the DM I'm talking about in my OP very obviously had encouraged the behaviour...there was lots of 'copy mummy' and 'do this one' followed by pouting, hand on hip, sticking chest out type poses.

I wouldn't have put 'dance like Miley' past her.

It's parents actively encouraging this that makes me uneasy, rather than them picking it up from the media IYSIM.

OP posts:

OrlyIC · 06/08/2015 13:19

*notion
**by the time

Rant made me illiterate.

BertieBotts · 06/08/2015 13:22

I don't think they mean any harm by it, though. They won't be thinking "Oh great, let's make my two year old look sexy!" it's just copying mummy. They won't have considered the political and socio-cultural reasons behind why women often pout in photos or stick their bums out or whatever. It's just a fun thing to do to pose for a photo, much like people do the "two fingers behind somebody's head which really doesn't look like rabbit ears" thing.

I do agree it's problematic but if you're going to follow it to the extreme, so is a toddler trying on mum's make up - which lots and lots of toddlers do and most people think is harmless and cute. And I don't think it's the parents at fault - as Orly said "By the time they understand, it's normalised". It's normalised.

Direct your ire at sexist institutes and media, not individuals who are unthinkingly following social norms (how dare they )

temperato · 06/08/2015 13:23

Yanbu. I see this on FB and hate it.

DD4 wouldn't have a clue how to pose or pout for a photo - long may it stay that way.

Original poster

The5DayChicken · 06/08/2015 13:25

At 2, I very much doubt it's been picked up by media. Or if it has been, I don't think it would be wrong to question how much adult viewing the child has been shown.

OP posts:

AuntyMag10 · 06/08/2015 13:25

You're actually fighting a losing battle here. They will learn this and many other inappropriate things anyway.

Aoifebell · 06/08/2015 13:27

YADNBU! Just yesterday I had to tell a friend to stop saying my toddler was sexy!

"Aww look you sexy so cute!" Err she's not even two there's nothing sexy about her!! It's disgusting!

This friend is childless but I don't know if that has anything to do with it.

Nabootique · 06/08/2015 13:31

Aunty Exactly. Mine learnt it at school, I think, along with a bit of twerking.

Aoife Vom. That's truly strange.

Original poster

The5DayChicken · 06/08/2015 13:33

I don't think trying to stop parents from encouraging inappropriate behaviour at such a young age is a losing battle at all Aunty. Sure, they'll be exposed to it eventually, but if it starts that young, it becomes normal for them.

OP posts:

Flip

1 2 3 4