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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

2 year olds being taught to pout...

94 replies

The5DayChicken · 06/08/2015 12:34

Fairly sure I'm being judgy and unreasonable but the younger I see this, the more appalled I get.

I know about 4-5 people (not all women) who seem to have instilled adult-style vanity into their young daughters. I've been uncomfortable being around 4-6 year olds who strike model poses on command, complete with pout. There's obviously no good way to raise this and as I'm not particularly close to any of these people (we're in some of the same social circles without being friends ourselves IYSWIM?) it wouldn't be my place anyway.

I've just come back from soft play after meeting some friends and friends-of-friends. One of the friends-of-friends had her 2yo DD with her and spent about 20 minutes getting her DD to pose and pout for the camera. Had a look at FB when I got home and the pictures are on there, in all their uncomfortable glory. I've unfollowed because I really don't want to see such young children trying to look sultry.

Am I the only person who finds this type of thing really inappropriate? What happened to sharing pictures of 2 year olds getting caught red handed in the treat cupboard?

OP posts:

Tenieht · 06/08/2015 13:36

Pater killer I've seen children wearing "porn star" t shirts - kid you not !

Tenieht · 06/08/2015 13:40

So inappropriate but some adults must buy them for their kids!

AuntyMag10 · 06/08/2015 13:42

Chicken I don't disagree with you at all. I feel its very inappropriate when I see young kids doing all these silly things but unfortunately the world out there has greater influence.
Someone shared a post on fb where the daughter was the miniature version of her mother, full face of makeup and inappropriate dress with the duck face pose. While I was the comments over how cute and 'goals' this was just proves how warped things are today.

woollytights · 06/08/2015 13:43

I strongly doubt any harm could result from this.

AuntyMag10 · 06/08/2015 13:44

Woolly the pouting is usually follows with a madam like attitude. I've seen kids like this.

MrsDeVere · 06/08/2015 13:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

The5DayChicken · 06/08/2015 13:51

I very much disagree that no harm can come of it. Children that young shouldn't be being taught behaviour that essentially makes women more appealing to men.

OP posts:

ProcrastinatorGeneral · 06/08/2015 14:03

Birdsgottafly · 06/08/2015 14:07

I don't like using "sexy" as a description for anything other than what you find sexually attractive, but some people use it to mean, appealing or exciting (I'm sad enough to have asked).

My two younger DDs, 17&19 have grown up with this pout, so have their peers, it hasn't damaged them, or made them more open to being seen as sexual objects.

I (and my peers) were posed with alcohol (and allowed to drink it, in the good old 70's), as well as cigs and we used to put our Mums pointy swimsuits on, so we looked like we had boobs, as well as growing up with Benny Hill etc.

None of us became porn stars, or thought that appealing to men was all that mattered, even though every media outlet did give those messages.

SnapesCapes · 06/08/2015 14:10

A girl I used to work with had a baby at the same time as I had DS2. The baby was a girl, and, awful as I sound saying this, has been raised to be one of those pouty kids in inappropriate logo-d tops and matching outfits with her Mum. It's bizarre; my 4 year old looks like a bozo in photos because he crosses his eyes or pulls odd faces. Like all small children should. Compared to him, her 4 year old looks like she's ready for High School.

Birdsgottafly · 06/08/2015 14:13

""Children that young shouldn't be being taught behaviour that essentially makes women more appealing to men.""

There's enough piss taken out of posing, to ensure that its in no way appealing.

specialsubject · 06/08/2015 14:21

the fugly duck face and hand on hip pose seems to be spreading. A small girl of my acquaintance is definitely NOT taught this at home, but has picked it up at school. It is horrible but I can't say anything. I ignore it which is all that can be done.

looks awful on adult women too. Go on, smile, it makes anyone look better!

FirstWeTakeManhattan · 06/08/2015 14:29

A vague acquaintance does the duck-face pout on every.single.photo. and has taught her young daughters to do the same. They think it looks cute, it truly doesn't.

Sleepybeanbump · 06/08/2015 14:30

Why is it judgy to call out the mindless perpetuation of generalised sexual abuse and objectification of girls and women?

I mean, yes it's having an opinion as opposed to just being a total meh moral relativist about everything, but judgy is such a negative term.

OrlyIC · 06/08/2015 14:37

I blame instagram.

mikado1 · 06/08/2015 14:38

Yanbu.
A friend posted a pic of her 3yo in two piece bikini (can't see need for this) posing with hand on hip and one leg forward. It got about 80 likes.

Theycallmemellowjello · 06/08/2015 16:08

Young people copy adults all the time. why are games involving getting married, having children etc ok whereas pantomiming looking 'sexy' (something children clearly don't fully understand) is not? I don't see the issue.

Theycallmemellowjello · 06/08/2015 16:10

Also, it's funny how people want us to not judge kids/women on appearances, but also think that they shouldn't pout or whatever because 'it looks awful'!

Original poster

The5DayChicken · 06/08/2015 16:25

Copying social roles and family scenarios is a normal part of learning and very different from children being encouraged to pose provocatively and pout.

OP posts:

Getyercoat · 06/08/2015 19:28

YANBU. It's a pet hate of mine.

Then again so many people are guilty of immediately commenting on little girls' appearances, clothes and hair when they see them. Being gorgeous and having your hair and clothes and shoes "loved" is the default position really, isn't it?

OrlyIC · 07/08/2015 10:41

Getyercoat - Yes!! I have had to physically bite my lip to make sure that the first words out of my mouth upon seeing a colleague's little girl in an admittedly gorgeous dress were not comments about how she looked. It's coded into us culturally. I think I said something lame about the dress looking like a great dress for adventures...

Awful.

Original poster

The5DayChicken · 07/08/2015 11:27

I suppose it is an extension of that Get, though a particularly disturbing one that crosses the line from reinforcing that girls should look pretty into encouraging them to mimic behaviour that most adults would associate with sexual beings. (If that makes sense? I'm not caffeinated enough today.)

OP posts:

BertieBotts · 07/08/2015 11:30

No but the adults are influenced by media. And of course media aimed at two year olds has sexy influences. Every single female cartoon character has giant eyelashes. And often a waist. And must look pretty in a really narrowly defined way

helenahandbag · 07/08/2015 11:32

I was just saying this to DP a few nights ago. A girl I know from school posted a photo of her 2yo daughter pouting with the caption "definitely my daughter!" or similar and it had dozens of likes and comments about how cute it was

Original poster

The5DayChicken · 07/08/2015 12:29

Of course adults are influenced by media Bertie but one would hope that they were intelligent/mature enough to know what is and isn't appropriate to teach their children.

Mainstream cartoons these days aren't as stereotyped and I can't think of a single one that shows characters pushing their chests out and pouting like a porn star.

OP posts:

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