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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to feel so sad for my DS?

93 replies

toddlersareeasier · 13/07/2015 19:03

He's 20 and at uni, studying maths. He's doing really well, and works part time as a waiter.

He came in today and just looked fed up. He was standing at the bus stop in the rain and one of the twats who bullied him at school for studying drove past in an Audi. He said he felt like shit.

So much bloody easier when they were toddlers.

OP posts:
Georgethesecond · 13/07/2015 19:05

It was probably on contract hire though, and the insurance will massive and probably be running up debt. And long term a degree is a much better bet. All that glisters is not gold!

WankerDeAsalWipe · 13/07/2015 19:06

Yup, I feel sorry for him too :(

I have to watch the arsehole who bullied my son and encouraged half the class to do the same, get rewarded for representing the country at sport.

mummy0bummy · 13/07/2015 19:06

But whose Audi was it and how much debt were they in?

I don't disagree with you, just saying that things aren't always what they appear on the surface. And even the friends I have who grew up with a ridiculous amount of money have all sorts of issues which money can't solve.

Littlefish · 13/07/2015 19:06

Tell him it was probably the boy's dad's car!

WorraLiberty · 13/07/2015 19:06

What?

He felt like shit because he can't drive yet?

Original poster
toddlersareeasier · 13/07/2015 19:07

I know, I know. He knows all that too.

You just begin to wonder when working hard actually pays off!

OP posts:
Nolim · 13/07/2015 19:07

A degree in a stem field is an asset that will probably last more than audi.

WorraLiberty · 13/07/2015 19:08

Oh sorry. I'm guessing an Audi is an expensive car? Blush

I know nothing about cars (obviously!)

But either way, there will always be people in life who have more/less than us.

Original poster
toddlersareeasier · 13/07/2015 19:08

He spent so long being told that it would all be worth it, and to ignore people who laughed at him for working hard.... and yet he's stuck on smelly wet buses and the twats have top of the range cars.

OP posts:
MissMuffetisin · 13/07/2015 19:11

It is depressing , that you teach them " cheats never prosper " but they do , and that bullies will be found out, but they usually aren't and carry on through adulthood. But at the risk of overusing the cliches, the best revenge is success, and as long as your DS succeeds in what he wants to do and is happy, what happens to the bully is irrelevant .

LocatingLocatingLocating · 13/07/2015 19:14

He's only 20! There's PLENTY of time for things to even out karma-wise!!

Chances are this twat bloke has got some testosterone filled macho competitive job in sales, which seems shiny and appealing now, but when he's still striving for crappy bonuses in 20 years time, your DS will thank his lucky stars he studied!

FurtherSupport · 13/07/2015 19:14

I stayed on at school while many of my friends left school and got jobs in shops/factories at 16. They were rich . Things haven't changed much for most of them since....

FWIW, I worked in finance for a while and fancy cars are hardly ever paid for. A 20 yo driving a flash car is either borrowing his dad's or has stolen it Grin . It would be nigh on impossible for the 20 to get it insured.

scatterthenuns · 13/07/2015 19:16

'Bad' people don't always have their comeuppance. It is shit, but it is life.

What does DS have in his own life that he can source happiness on? Not material things, but good friends, a girlfriend, success in his degree, job prospects?

That is where real happiness is found.

Original poster
toddlersareeasier · 13/07/2015 19:18

Deep down he knows all that, but it was such a punch in the guts for him.

OP posts:
DevonFolk · 13/07/2015 19:21

Owning an Audi doesn't stop someone being a twat (or other people knowing it)

Alibabsandthe40Musketeers · 13/07/2015 19:26

But he is a student, of course he hasn't seen the rewards of his labour yet - it is still ongoing.

My friends who didn't go to university but worked had 'loads' of money aged 20-23.

20 years on, most of them are still doing the same kind of job, same kind of wages except now they have a family to support rather than being able to spend it all on Levis and packets of B&H and bottles of Becks

Your DS should just ignore these people and live his own life.

justmyview · 13/07/2015 19:27

There's more to life than cars, even flash cars. Your DS is only 20, plenty of time to get ahead in his career (if that is his life path)

Purplepoodle · 13/07/2015 19:28

Yeah but it's either daddies or he's forking over every penny he earns. Took my dh many years in his youth to realise fancy cars don't define a person

ThoseAwfulCurtains · 13/07/2015 19:33

I thought you had to be a twat to drive an audi. Isn't there a test?

HoldYerWhist · 13/07/2015 19:35

Tell him to ask the women or men he's attracted to if they'd rather sleep with Derek Morgan or Spencer Reid, then tell him to only concentrate on those who answered the latter! Grin

SaucyJack · 13/07/2015 19:37

He's probably a drug dealer.

nousernamesleft · 13/07/2015 19:38

A twat I went to school with drove a top of the range black thing (don't ask, I just know it was posh and probably expensive!), until he was arrested and jailed for drug running. His boss took the car back then.
He spent a good while in a skanky foreign prison, and is now a junkie scumbag doing petty crime to feed his habit, and going in and out of jail.
Serves him right, he made my, and plenty of others, school years hell.

milkmilklemonade12 · 13/07/2015 19:38

Christ, I don't even want to think how much it costs to insure an Audi at 20... We have an apprentice at work who paid £2,100 to insure a shitty 8 year old Fiesta; his first car.

It's funny; I was chatting to one of my au pairs about this last year. She was envious of this girl who was coming over to the UK (both Australian) for 2 years and didn't have to go to uni. Her dad always sent her over money after she had ran out from partying/shopping the weekend away, she was over at our house one day and dropped her phone. It cracked the screen and she just laughed and said 'my dad will buy me another one!' And he did. She was a pretty girl and always had boys fawning over her. She and my au pair fell out (of course!) and my AP was saying how unfair it was that she had to go back home when she was enjoying her time here so much, and go to uni to get a decent job when this other girl just had her life paid for. I was telling her that it's only come 10 years time, when she'll have a great job and her independence, whereas this other girl will have just relied on a string of men to get her by; her dad, her brother, boyfriend etc... People don't put that bit out there on Facebook. It's hard to see at that age, of course.

Snowsquonk · 13/07/2015 19:41

One of the school bullies was the first to be given a car by mummy and daddy.

A car he managed to eject himself from via the windscreen. His future wasn't so bright after that.

BarbarianMum · 13/07/2015 19:42

He's 20 and an undergraduate. He needs to be a bit more patient. Also, it is (unfortunately) perfectly possible to be an unpleasant arsehole and have a successful career. However, who wants to be an unpleasant arsehole?