to object to after-school activity finishing at 9.30pm

[kitnkaboodle]

... twice a week, including term time! Am I the only person here who feels this is too late for pre-teen kids (or even early teens)?

I raised some objection and have definitely been made to feel that IABU by the organisers.

Not wanting to out myself, but it is a musical activity, so if my DD opts to leave early each night, she will obv. be missing some practice/instruction. What do others feel about this? DD is 12 and normally she's in bed at 9, lights out 9.30 - and my DH usually goes to bed at 10!

YANBU. Never mind pre-teens, that would be far too late finishing for ME too

Is this a school organised activity? Or outside school?

I think that is too late. Especially twice a week.

No yanbu. My 11 year old has a 9pm bedtime

Neither myself nor my DCs could cope with that. The odd finish at that time wipes mine out for days.

I wouldn't sign my DD (12) up for that if I could avoid it. I tend to have a mental cut-off of 8pm for activities. Her current latest is 8.15 but that's a Friday night.

However, if its a musical activity and some participants are older, you might have to suck it up or opt out I suppose.

Seems very late for the intended age group. ds1 would never have managed a 9.30 finish time at that age. Especially twice a week!

YANBU.

That does seem very late. especially if it's twice a week. Some of those kids will be up and out house really early the following morning. what's the reason?

YANBU

I'm very surprised at the school organising something like this.

In terms of whether it's too late - well i guess it depends on the individual children.

DS (10yo) copes with activities outside of school that finish this late as he's never needed much sleep. His older sister on the other hand would not have coped at this age. She struggles now at 13½!

What time does it start? I'd say 8pm as a cut off but ideally after school activities should be 3-6pm or on Saturdays.

What about dinner homework and time to unwind? Sleep is very important for grades IMO.

Is this a school organised activity?

If not YABU. I expect the organisers have scheduled the time to suit their own commitments. If you don't like it, find something else or wait until she's old enough for it not to be an issue.

...phew! It's out of school. The reason for that lateness just seems to be a) that it suits the organisers b) it's sort of been inherited from an earlier time, when more adults were involved c) there are teens there up to age 18 - but also primary kids too!

Glad people feel as I do. tbh I even feel that 9pm is too late, but DD is desperate to do it. I think we will compromise with 9pm. I seem to be the only parent making a fuss about it. I do suspect, though, that others are worried that their kids will miss out/won't be 'picked' for stuff if they object to the timings

yes, sorry. Realise that it was ambiguous. It's NOT a school activity. But it IS something that is aimed at ages 8-18.

I think it depends what the activity is, surely? If it was compulsory for a few weeks for say, a school play it would be okay, but in the situation you describe I would say it's not appropriate for younger kids/teens. Not on a school night anyway - Friday/Saturday/holidays would be okay.

Sorry but YABU. It's not a school organised activity, the people running it need to have it fit in with their schedules or else you wouldn't even have the club being run. It's a case of like it or lump it. Perhaps see if there is a similar group, at a different time?

I wouldn't do it no matter what age the child. In fact, it's too late for me!

I also think you'll probably find a lot of people don't agree with you now that you've clarified it's not a school activity and that it is for up to 18.

That's too late for a regular activity.

Dd has taken part in dance shows & musical perfirmances that have necessitated a late finish but its always been for a limited run.

8.30pm is our cut off

Perhaps but the OP can't object, like she asked, if it is aimed at a wide age range. It is up to her whether her daughter goes, not the organisers. They are no unreasonable in any way.

I think if it isn't a school activity then people may not agree that the finishing time is unreasonable. Especially if the activity in question caters for 8 to 18 year olds. In this case I'd be inclined to wait until your dd is old enough to manage such a regular activity that finishes as late as 9.30. Or find an alternative group that has more suitable finishing times for her.

I know that ds1 had to stop going to Scouts precisely because the times were aimed at older teenagers. When he went up from Cubs at 11 he simply couldn't cope with a 9pm finish. A shame but ultimately, not a compulsory or school-related activity.

Its quite a normal time for a non school musical activity. Many kids start at 12 and continue into adulthood. I think if you feel its too late at the moment you could tell your DD you will reconsider in a couple of years? If music is her thing, she will end up doing this eventually.

I don't think you're being unreasonable at all - our latest finish time is 8.45 and that still seems late, dd is tired the following day.

It depends.

If it finishes at 9.30pm and you are close to home, and it is not something adrenaline pumping so you could get DC into bed within 20 minutes of finish time, I think that would be ok. Assuming it starts late enough for DC to eat, maybe shower/do homework/whatever else that night.

not too late for mine very impressed by people whose teenagers go to sleep before 11pm.