..to ask about bi-sexuality?

[ArsenalsPlayingAtHome]

I want lots of traffic, hence I'm posting it here!

A couple of weeks ago, a family member came out as bi-sexual. He's male and still a teenager.

I have huge admiration for his honesty and the courage (imho) it takes to do this.

Needless to say, my feelings towards him haven't changed. Actually, that's not strictly true, they have changed: I feel even prouder of him, and my respect for him is greater than it was.

Anyway, I have no one in RL I can talk to about this. I have talked to my DH, but he's as clueless as I am.

What I would like to know is, and forgive my ignorance, if you are bi-sexual, can you be completely sexually satisfied if you choose to be monogamous, or will you always feel that you are missing out on something, iyswim?

TIA

Im bisexual and have had relationships with both men and women and have been faithful in those relationships. I didnt feel like i was missing out

www.stonewall.org.uk/at_home/sexual_orientation_faqs/2696.asp

Read this - covers bisexuality & biphobia

Yes. You can.

It's a common misconception that bisexual people need BOTH sex with women and sex with men to be satisfied. It's more like sex with EITHER is satisfying. Obvious everyone is different but, in general.

It's like your asking if the difference between or is sizes matters and can you be faithful to someone who has a large or small dick depending I. Your preference. Sexuality has nothing to do with faithfulness

Yes, of course. You don't feel you're missing out by settling with your one husband, as opposed to having every man in the world to have sex with, do you?

It's the same as that :) They just fancy people of both sexes, rather than just one.

It's a common misconception that bisexual people need BOTH sex with women and sex with men to be satisfied. It's more like sex with EITHER is satisfying. Obvious everyone is different but, in general.

This. ^^ I'm bi and have been in several longish relationships with women. I was also married to a man. I've always been faithful in these relationships. It's not that I need sex with both men and women to be satisfied, simply that if I were looking for a partner, I'd be as likely to fancy a woman as a man.

I am heterosexual

it doesn't mean I need to have sex with lots of men just because I can

bisexual people are just as likely to be as monogamous as the next person (or not, as the case may be)

Yes, of course. Sexual preference and faithfulness are not linked: there are plenty of faithful gay and bi people, and plenty of cheating straight people.

I'm bisexual, monogamous and married to a man. The implication that I will cheat on him due a crazed lust for the ladies is kind of insulting, to be honest. I'm sure you didn't mean it that way, but the assumption that all bi people cheat is a bit like the assumption that all gay men are promiscuous - it's damaging and untrue.

Yes, you can. You just might be attracted to a person of either gender.

Do you feel like you are lacking when you are with your DH OP? Do you feel completely satisfied with him given so many other men out there and/or relating to previous partners?

Because it's the same thing, When you are bisexual the actual gender of a person isn't what you fall for or want, it's the person. If you want monogamy then gender doesn't matter, genitalia doesn't matter that much. I've had partners both great and rubbish at sex and relationships, gender doesn't divide them.

The 'bisexuals can never be satisfied' idea which is often bandied around by people to justify not wanting to be with someone bisexual or to slate them is simply untrue instead we get the best of both worlds.

Not saying you are bandying it about, you're curious- but many do use it in untruth.

What knitfast said!

I've known straight and bi and gay people who are completely sexually satisfied if [they] choose to be monogamous

And straight and bi and gay people who will always feel that [they] are missing out on something because some people find monogamy hard, and some relationships fail and people in them look elsewhere...

What Anyfucker said

I consider myself bisexual. I've never had a relationship with a woman as I was brought up in a strict religious household (I did have the opportunity in my teens but didn't out of fear of how my family would react), I regret that but I am happily married to DH.

It is also untrue and insulting to presume that bisexual people fancy EVERYONE because they are attracted to both genders!

What ilovemargaretatwood said. I'm bisexual and some relationships were great, some I felt like I was missing something and left... never had much to do with gender or sex.

Bisexuals aren't necessarily going to be attracted to everybody, either. There are probably members of your preferred gender that you don't find attractive for whatever reasons. Same goes for bisexuals- they have characteristics other than gender that they look for or can't stand in a prospective partner, just like everybody else.

It is also untrue and insulting to presume that bisexual people fancy EVERYONE because they are attracted to both genders!

Exactly - heterosexuality never gets reduced to pure fucking (excuse the phrase) in the same way that gay and bi sexuality does. It's so oddly fetishised - this reduction of every queer person to a function of their genitalia rather than a rounded, relationship-seeking human being.

And yes, the whole 'this person is bi/gay/lesbian so they must fancy me!' thing - sorry folks, you're not THAT universally attractive

To be fair to the OP, I think she was confused and was assuming that bisexuality meant that a person needed to have sex with both men and women to feel sexually fulfilled not that she thought only heterosexual people could be monogamous. Hopefully posts on here have clarified but no need for undertones of assumption towards biphobia.

In some ways it can be harder to be bi because it can take years to understand yourself, obv I don't think OP is biphobic, homophobic or whatever it's just meant for clarification.

Being an openly bi woman, in my experience, comes in one of three flavours:

A) 'but you're married?! to a man!? How can you be bisexual?' - mostly from well-meaning but clueless straight people who think bisexual people are raging sex addicts who attend multi gender orgies every weekend
B) 'there's no such thing as bisexuality, you're just a lesbian in denial/straight girl wanting attention' - mostly from gay people, unfortunately
C) 'phwoar! Would you have a threesome with me and my girlfriend?' - mostly from moronic laddish types who think that bisexuality is a concept invented for heterosexual porn films

I am bisexual. Married to a man. Its about the person - finding the partner you want to be with first, sex secondary to that. I found the person I want to spend my life with, and only having sex with. The same way I don't need sex from another man, I don't need it from a woman.

I do indulge in both straight and lesbian porn though.

I don't know, I think it's easier in some ways. I'm bi but I have never been with a woman. (DH insists this makes me not bi, but I say how on earth could he know who I am attracted to or not?)

If you're bisexual in an opposite sex relationship, you "pass" as straight and avoid a lot of the issues which face same sex couples. Marriage, (yay Ireland!) childbearing, general prejudice, etc. There is a lot of annoying "Oh so that was just a phase then?" and other comments, assumptions etc made by other people, but it's not that bad in the scheme of things. And at least most people understand what bisexuality is and don't go "What? You're whatsexual? What IS that?"