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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was I wrong to do this in the supermarket

102 replies

balletnotlacrosse · 13/05/2015 12:13

I was queueing at the checkout yesterday. A woman in front, with a loaded trolley, suddenly dashed off down one of the aisles. I assumed she'd just gone to get something she'd forgotten and as the man in front of her was still checking his groceries through it was no big deal.

However, a few minutes later he'd paid and was leaving and there was still no sign of her so I went in front and started loading my groceries onto the belt. She arrived back when I had about half of them unloaded, with an armful of extra items she'd collected for her trolley, and looked really annoyed with me. I just ignored her, finished unpacking my stuff and paid. As I went to walk off she said loudly 'I see she's not even going to apologise for skipping the queue'.
I ignored her again, but AIBU to think that if you go off for several minutes leaving your trolley unattended you can't really expect the people behind you in the queue to hang around waiting for you to return?

OP posts:
MythicalKings · 13/05/2015 12:14

YANBU she certainly was. I would have told her so.

Gileswithachainsaw · 13/05/2015 12:16

Yanbu. People can't wait all day. shed had ample time to get back and had obviously just "reserved" a place and finished shopping.

grannytomine · 13/05/2015 12:17

What a cheek, I'd have gone back and told her how queues work i.e. you stand in them till its your turn.

MirandaGoshawk · 13/05/2015 12:17

It depends how long she was gone. I agree with you that dashing off to get one essential is reasonable but expecting someone to wait for ages isn't. The guy in front had finished and she was still missing, so in this case I think YANBU.

I have paid, unloaded into the car & then gone back for one thing before, rather than do what she did.

Goldmandra · 13/05/2015 12:18

You didn't skip the queue. She wasn't in it. You were the next person waiting.

I don't mind people suddenly remembering one or two things and dashing off to get it but I'm wouldn't tolerate someone leaving their trolley in the queue then going off to get the other half of their shop.

She's cheeky and you were in the right.

CaptainAnkles · 13/05/2015 12:18

It's not skipping the queue if there's nobody in front of you. She had disappeared. YANBU.

ollieplimsoles · 13/05/2015 12:18

So you were supposed to wait there? YANBU, she forfeited her place in the que by leaving it. She should have finished her shopping properly before queuing up.

RusticBlush · 13/05/2015 12:20

Ooh I couldn't have ignored her - she'd have got a flaming from me!!

PtolemysNeedle · 13/05/2015 12:20

YANBU. Woman was a chancer.

Floggingmolly · 13/05/2015 12:23

Is this the new version of putting your coats on seats in Starbucks, while all 9 of you queue up for coffee??? What a womble.

MadameJulienBaptiste · 13/05/2015 12:26

Ya absolutely nbu!

she obviously hadn't finished her shopping and decided to reserve a place in the queue with her trolley.

TheEggityOddity · 13/05/2015 12:28

Cheeky and yanbu! At the market the other day there was a massive queue for this veggie stall. An old woman came up and started calling one of the market holders for attention holding a plant of basil. He asked the other market holder serving with him to let her hop the queue as she was just getting basil. But then as soon as the market holder gave her this, she started saying "now a kilo of potatoes". Market holder rightly went mad with her for queue jumping lots of patient people who'd been there 30 mins and said the basil only or nothing! Lady was very put out by this but really some people are so selfish!

sparklepopsicles · 13/05/2015 12:29

YABU in that you did not give her a scathing retort Grin cheeky mare. I have occasionally popped to get 1 thing that I have forgotten but to be gone ages and return with armfuls of stuff is just rude

SirChenjin · 13/05/2015 12:30

YANBU

If you need to nip back to get an item you've forgotten you should tell the checkout assistant or the person next to you. She had disappeared without saying where she was going - what the hell were you supposed to do, hang around forever??

Original poster
balletnotlacrosse · 13/05/2015 12:30

Thanks everyone. I was pretty sure I hadn't been rude or skipped a queue, but was just taken aback at her manner towards me and wanted to check.

OP posts:
BitOutOfPractice · 13/05/2015 12:31

You see I think YABU.

babybat · 13/05/2015 12:43

I've had this happen to me in the queue for the self-checkout. A woman plonked down her basket, wandered off, and I waited. When the next checkout became free I went to it, and was halfway through scanning my shopping when she came back and started ranting about how she was in the queue. I told her that she wasn't in the queue just because her basket was, and she shouldn't walk off if she's in that much of a rush. Some people think everyone's got to wait for them!

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 13/05/2015 12:48

I think it depends on the length of time you were waiting for her to come back.

If it was genuinely several minutes and genuinely "an armful" of extra shopping then YANBU. If it was actually one or two minutes & one or two extra items then I would have waited.

If I had I made a judgment call on the situation myself & deemed it appropriate to go ahead of her, I would not have been able to resist replying to her sarcastic comment I'm afraid!

diddl · 13/05/2015 12:50

Could you explain Bit?

Was everyone, including the cashier just supposed to wait then?

MissBattleaxe · 13/05/2015 12:58

So she expected you and the cashier and anyone else who might have joined the queue to wait for her to finish her shopping in her own time, but apparently YOU were the rude one for not wanting to stand there like a lemon and do everything to her timetable?

YANBU. I would have composed a biting riposte, but probably wouldn't have thought one for ages afterwards!

Something like "I asked your trolley how long you were going to be but it didn't know"

butterflyballs · 13/05/2015 12:59

This is how it should work. You unload. Look at other persons shopping and spot something you were meant to get and say, oh God, I forgot milk!! Then turn to person behind you and say you are going to get milk. Then get milk by sprinting round the shop, shoving pensioners and small children out the way, all the time saying sorry, forgot the milk. Then dash back and squeeze through saying sorry continuously and then dump the milk down and look guilty.

Last time we were in a shop and the woman in front forgot milk, I sent dp to get it for her. She was so grateful :o

breadstixandhommus · 13/05/2015 12:59

outofpractice please elaborate as to why you think op was BU? Not asking in an arsey way it's very difficult to articulate yourself properly when writing I find

Yesterday I was in the position of the lady in front. I had just finished unloading then realised I had forgotten 2 things that I couldn't do without. If my OH was there one of us would shoot off to find the offending items and continue with the transaction, if we don't make it by payment time we go to the self service and pay separately. I was on my own, it didn't even occur to me to just bugger off, I reloaded and off I went.

She would've got a mouthful from me I'm afraid Blush

Goldmandra · 13/05/2015 12:59

Was everyone, including the cashier just supposed to wait then?

If so, for how long?

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 13/05/2015 13:01

Yes Butterfly, that's the exact way it works in polite society Grin.

whois · 13/05/2015 13:03

It's not skipping the queue if there's nobody in front of you. She had disappeared. YANBU.

You'd think that, but I nearly saw a fight i pundland where some dude had put his basket down by the door when there was a SUPER long queue, gone out for a fag/to other shops and come back in and tried to go in front of the woman in front of me. e joined forces to tell him to do one, but he was getting so pissed off. Apparently in other cultures it is ok to just 'know' where you are in the queue...