Was I wrong to do this in the supermarket

[balletnotlacrosse]

I was queueing at the checkout yesterday. A woman in front, with a loaded trolley, suddenly dashed off down one of the aisles. I assumed she'd just gone to get something she'd forgotten and as the man in front of her was still checking his groceries through it was no big deal.

However, a few minutes later he'd paid and was leaving and there was still no sign of her so I went in front and started loading my groceries onto the belt. She arrived back when I had about half of them unloaded, with an armful of extra items she'd collected for her trolley, and looked really annoyed with me. I just ignored her, finished unpacking my stuff and paid. As I went to walk off she said loudly 'I see she's not even going to apologise for skipping the queue'.
I ignored her again, but AIBU to think that if you go off for several minutes leaving your trolley unattended you can't really expect the people behind you in the queue to hang around waiting for you to return?

I did say ay 14:00 that I'm not the dasher off-er. I shop online

I'm back beause I just realised that I listened to this episode last night - doh!

I don't think you're wrong, bit, because you're seeing it from your point of view as a person who would be polite and and as quick as possible if you'd just forgotten a couple of things. Those of us who think OP is right are visualising someone disappearing for ten minutes- which is a long time in queue terms- and then coming back with a selection of items from all over the store.

Archers......Ambridge .

So someone listens to that? I switch it off whenever it comes on. It irritates the hell out of me.

A lot of Mumsnetters listen to it, Jane, there are whole threads dedicated to chat and speculation.

Leave bit alone now please. She is entitled to express a differing opinion but being a nasty twat to her is probably against talk guidelines not really on.

Yo're right silver, I'm lovely!

Janethegirl The MN Archers Threads are some of the longest running and usiest ones on MN! They fill up every 2 weeks or so and have done for years! They are not backwaters by any stretch - quite feisty at times!

Don't think anyone was being nasty Moving! Just forcefully disagreeing with a forcefully put opinion!

And the Archers is fabulous and anyone who disagrees is DBVVVU. (Sorry Jane)

Was I forecful? Oh! I typed it quite jovially. Only goes to show how text doesn't convey tone very well sometimes

Let's all be friends and go and dance around Linda's maypole then Bit

Presuming the Button sisters haven't made off with it.

And I'll race you for the last packet of farfalle in the shop

You've got a deal - but don't think about pushing in front of me in the Village shop! Jim will have very short shrift with you!

You weren't unreasonable she was. And SilverDragonfly wasn't unreasonable at the PO either - you'd queued up once already and I do what you do - stand to once side then go to the next free one. OP should have told her you weren't in the queue love, time stands still for no man

Join the queue to tell me IABU Need but don't push in

Seriously, I thought the person doing the AIBU-ing was the one to be put right, not the one person who had the temerity to disagree!

For those who have said they would have waited one or two minutes, (perhaps it was only Bit?), I wonder if they have ever actually waited in a checkout line? One or two minutes is forever in that situation. Others have pointed out that it was not just the OP who would have been inconvenienced, but also every other customer behind her in the line as well as the person on the cash.

One thing I would factor in before deciding to go ahead and unload my cart is the size of the store. I shop at two, one is tiny and a person could easily go to the extreme other end of it to pick up something very quickly, but the other is huge, and it would take a good deal longer. Seconds count!

Yep. It was just me. Lonely, friendless me!

And seconds don't count - not for most people.

What do you lot do if you're behind an elderly person who is taking a dog's age to go through, faffing and being generally slow. Are you all eye rolling and huffing?

I thought I was impatient but seconds count? Blimey!

What do you lot do if you're behind an elderly person who is taking a dog's age to go through, faffing and being generally slow. Are you all eye rolling and huffing?

Nope, I'm actually really patient when dealing the elderly. Seconds count, but so does context.

YANBU
I don't know why you were required to apologise to her when it sounds like she didn't say anything to you to explain where she was dashing off to - 'oops, forgot the milk - I'll just be two ticks!' etc. You stand in the queue when you've finished your shopping. She hadn't. I bet she wouldn't have waited for you if the roles were reversed OP and I bet she'd have made a snippy comment about having to wait for you.

I don't mind people suddenly remembering one or two things and dashing off to get it

I do, if there are people waiting. Pay for what you've got and then go back. Your mistake - you take the delay.

YANBU, I was in Waitrose the other the other week and this lime suit wearing woman forgot her bottles of mineral water and 'told', not 'asked' a security guard to go and fetch them for her - surprisingly, he obliged. she was irritated that she could not find a queue free till and looked at me with disgust and disdain when a shop assistant suggested to wait behind me as I was in the shortest queue. Unsure as to why she looked me up and down but it could've been that it was nearly 8 on a Friday night and I had my 7 & 4 year old with me, I noticed that they were the only children in the shop and it was pretty empty so they sounded quite loud in comparison to other 'single', non speaking shoppers. She insisted they open a new till and they responded. Meanwhile, the security man brought back her water and she indicated to him to put it on the belt of the new till. She then proceeded to tell the till assistant to unload her stuff as she had forgotten loads of things and took a basket to get the extras! She thanked none of them for their efforts.

I had another experience in my Sainsbury's local where certain items are kept behind the till. This man came up behind me with one item so I suggested that he go ahead of me as he only had milk or something. He thanked me so clearly understood my reasoning and then went on to buy a bottle of champagne, cigarettes, cigars, razors, some expensive medicine, a scratch card and some condoms! Obviously was going to have a fun night.

I really do wonder what snippy worlds some of you live in. It's like the twilight zone on here sometimes

If [the cashier] said "Oh I'm sorry for the wait, this lady seems to be taking her time doesn't she? I hope nobody is in a crashing hurry - if you are I'll serve you first" or even "Oh! Shall we start a sing song?" or just some social nicetie (sp?) instead of all of this seething and ignoring and embarrassing silences.

This is unbelievably passive aggressive, at least in the South-East

YANBU OP and there was no need for you to apologise or justify yourself to the entitled cah! I would have pushed her trolley firmly away from the checkouts and forged ahead.

It's not passive aggressive. It's about oiling the wheels of interaction with a bit of chit chat and jollity. I thoughts that's what British culture was all about. Clearly I'm in a minority.

And yes, I live in the South east in a traditionally very aggressive place. But I don't recognise all this glowering aggression described here. I feel quite depressed about it tbh

I can't see why it was rude of OP not to say anything when the woman in question didn't bother to say anything before she disappeared. But I must admit I'm a wuss in supermarket queues, if I've forgotten something I just leave it rather than run off to find it.