Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

"Have you thought about buying?"...

182 replies

NickyEds · 27/04/2015 13:28

As in a house. We're currently (and increasingly desperately) looking for a new house to rent. In our area stuff comes up, is viewed and goes within a day. We're on all the usual websites every day looking for somewhere suitable. The last house we viewed and applied for, 14 other people also applied for and we didn't get it.
If one more person says "If you're having trouble renting, have you thought of buying??"...GGrrrrr. Yes we have thought about it. We don't have thousands of pounds sat about. It's not an option. The question is usually followed by "Can't your parents help you out?". Angry. Maybe they think that the thought has actually never occurred to us and they're genuinely being helpful but AIBU to scream in the face of the next person who says this?

OP posts:
FarFromAnyRoad · 27/04/2015 13:33

I feel so so sorry for anyone trying to buy a house at the moment - and probably for a long long time to come. It must be awful - the bar is set so high that few can manage. This is one reason why we're urging DS to take up the offer of a PhD at a university in America - at least there he's got a chance. If he stays here he'll still be living at home in his 30's.

baies1 · 27/04/2015 13:35

YANBU op! Totally sympathise.

Original poster
NickyEds · 27/04/2015 13:37

My dp has a Phd!! but we're here though- not sure what it's like in the states. Dp's brother finished a Phd and just got a job after 18 months of looking and living back at home. No way he'll be buying any time soon.

OP posts:
Fairylea · 27/04/2015 13:40

Yanbu.

I think it extends to more than just buying a house though... We have no family support whatsoever and our youngest child is currently being assessed for autism and our house is literally falling down around us. If one more person says to us why don't we ask family for help or maybe the council can fix it I will scream....

I think a lot of people fail to understand circumstances different to their own.

FarFromAnyRoad · 27/04/2015 13:40

I honestly don't think today's younger generation have a hope unless they come into money or win a substantial amount somehow. My niece just moved to France and bought a farmhouse with 13 acres for half the price of a run down 2 bed semi near Crawley. It must be very worrying.

RattieofCatan · 27/04/2015 13:41

YANBU. I've had it and it drives me round the bend. Especially when they make out that it's so easy. Really? The bank would laugh us off with me being a nanny (and therefore not secure in my work apparently) and with my DP a mature student. That's if we even had the spare £10k or so for a 5% deposit.

blue42 · 27/04/2015 13:46

I think a lot of people fail to understand circumstances different to their own.

Bingo. Something we are all guilty of at least occasionally, but hits the nail right on the head.

Notyouagaintoday · 27/04/2015 13:49

Buy to let should be banned. There are not enough house.

littlejohnnydory · 27/04/2015 13:50

YANBU. Same boat (my dh has a PhD too!).

littlejohnnydory · 27/04/2015 13:54

Surely most people's parents haven't got tens of thousands of pounds just sitting around going begging, to give each of their children? Most of my friends bought houses in the era when 100% mortgages were the norm.

Notyouagaintoday · 27/04/2015 14:00

I don't think needing 100 percent mortgage is the problem. It's the price of property surely. In the 90's my 2 bed terrace was £42k. Still needed huge deposit. Current house, 10 years later and not that much bigger was £165k. Don't understand it.

Skeppers · 27/04/2015 14:01

YADefinitelyDefinitelyNBU.

It's closer to £20k for a 10% deposit where I am for a small 2 bed terrace. And with our first- and, most likely, only- baby due in August it's just never going to happen. I'm 36. I essentially had to choose between a house or a family. I don't think it's reasonable that a couple who work hard, both earn a decent salary (or anyone, for that matter) should be forced into making that decision, but that's what's happening to people on a daily basis.

EVERYONE I know who has bought their own house had financial help from their parents. Mine aren't in a position to do so, and neither should they feel obliged to really! The whole situation is ridiculous and I can only see it getting worse. Sad

I've condemned myself to a life of renting, but at least I get to have my little family! Smile

Plus, I'm in my late 30s, DH is in his early 40s. A colleague of his (43) was refused a mortgage last week on the grounds of his age, despite having £80k saved up in the bank.

Notyouagaintoday · 27/04/2015 14:03

Skeppers. Exactly why we won't move house, considered too old!

Original poster
NickyEds · 27/04/2015 14:03

Apparently they do Littlejohn. And apparently it's now seen as totally normal for their adult children to appropriate them! Several of my friends bought when 100%+ mortgages were the norm too but they mostly wanted to keep hold of them to rent out so got money for deposits on their next homes from their parents. So they now not only have the house they live in but their old one to rent out. And they bitch to me about having to pay tax on their profits!

OP posts:
ImNameyChangey · 27/04/2015 14:04

Skeppers What about a narrow boat? If I weren't emigrating I would seriously consider one and also I've condsidered a static caravan in the past! Anything just to have my own bit of something.

RainbowFlutterby · 27/04/2015 14:04

Is stopping btl the answer?

If my landlord didn't own this house I sure as hell wouldn't be living in it. Bank won't lend us much more than what we already have saved so we wouldn't be able to afford to buy it.

Artandco · 27/04/2015 14:05

A 2 bed flat is £500k here. That's £50k for 10% deposit

BreakingDad77 · 27/04/2015 14:05

"littlejohnnydory"

Not if has all gone on paying for their later life care, as we didn't have where with all to hide it in trusts etc My deposit came from working overseas which isn't possible for everyone.

We only got on as we were buying it off family member who was in a fix and we paid prob 20k less than its value but it has gone up 90k in about 4-5 years. So you are every lucky if you can get on, we could not buy it now.

Original poster
NickyEds · 27/04/2015 14:12

Snap Skeppers. I'm pregnant with dc2 and we more or less left it as long as we dared to have a family after giving up on buying.

Renting is just so hard too. Everyone is clamoring for family homes, shit tips advertised as "homely", blood of your first born for a bloody garden, paying for credit checks over and over again only to be refused the house because we have kids (which were there before the checks ffs)......I could go on.. I was sitting in tears the other night at the thought that at my age we might not be able to let ds have his bath (his favourite thing in the world) because we saw a house that was sort of ok but didn't have a bathSad. It's just so fucking frustrating.

OP posts:
Skeppers · 27/04/2015 14:12

ImNameyChangey I think we've been on the same thread before; I distinctly remember something about narrowboats! I'd LOVE to live on one- we're in the right part of the world, South Coast, surrounded by water. Don't even have the cash for that, unfortunately. I do know what you mean though. I've found myself on drives in the country eyeing up abandoned cowsheds and genuinely thinking "I could live in that, with a bit of work". Grin I don't want anything grand, just something I can call my own.

I don't even want to think about what's going to happen to us when we retire. I think it'll be so miserable that I may as well just take the 'easy' way out, rather than live anything up to 20 years in abject poverty as we'll have no assets to pay for our housing/care.

I agree with RainbowFlutterby, ending BTL would be a disaster. Where would we live then!? Wouldn't change the fact that we still couldn't afford a house!

Psipsina · 27/04/2015 14:18

We would be in rented still if we hadn't inherited some money. I will never, ever regret not staying in rented - as soon as we had the chance to escape we grabbed it with both hands.

I couldn't be more grateful if I tried, nor more sorry for those renting and unable to be in our situation. We don't even own our home - my parents do - but we are secure here finally without people breathing down our necks all the time.

Skeppers · 27/04/2015 14:19

NickyEds I've sort of made my peace with it now and refuse to get upset as there's absolutely nothing we can do about the wider situation. It is what it is, sadly. I just make do with my lot and remind myself that there are still people worse off than I am; people who don't have a roof over their heads at all!

Although it really is sad not to have a proper 'home' and be able to put your own personal stamp on the place. Magnolia walls aren't really my cup of tea, and it breaks my heart that we can't decorate a proper little nursery for baby. I can't shake the feeling that we're ultimately living in someone else's house; it's like living out of a suitcase in a hotel where you have to potentially be ready to pack up and move on at the drop of a hat!

Oh well. People are dying in earthquakes, etc. etc. (just to give myself some sense of perspective!)

Original poster
NickyEds · 27/04/2015 14:20

I don't really believe in banning BTL (I'm not that dictatorial!) but just imagine if they had to sell up and the market was suddenly flooded with all of those houses? The prices would drop and it might, just become affordable. 100% mortgages in and of themselves were only a problem because they enabled people to buy a second house without having to sell their current one. This was unheard of when, say my parents were young.

OP posts:
Original poster
NickyEds · 27/04/2015 14:23

Skeppers. I thought I'd made my peace with it too but now we're having such a ball ache renting....
Besides, I'm pregnant so I reserve the right to get upset about it!

OP posts:
Skeppers · 27/04/2015 14:24

To be honest, if they brought back 100% mortgages I'd be over the moon because it's really the only way we'd be able to get a place! We pass all the affordability criteria, it's just the frikkin' mountainous deposits.

The other thing I get from unsympathetic people is "Well, if it's that bad, why don't you just move to a cheaper part of the country?". OK then, I'll uphaul my entire life; both of our jobs, all of our friends and family, our entire support network and move somewhere completely alien up north just for the sake of bricks and mortar? No thanks. And I think it's an incredibly unfair and unreasonable thing to suggest!

Swipe left for the next trending thread