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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

"Have you thought about buying?"...

182 replies

NickyEds · 27/04/2015 13:28

As in a house. We're currently (and increasingly desperately) looking for a new house to rent. In our area stuff comes up, is viewed and goes within a day. We're on all the usual websites every day looking for somewhere suitable. The last house we viewed and applied for, 14 other people also applied for and we didn't get it.
If one more person says "If you're having trouble renting, have you thought of buying??"...GGrrrrr. Yes we have thought about it. We don't have thousands of pounds sat about. It's not an option. The question is usually followed by "Can't your parents help you out?". Angry. Maybe they think that the thought has actually never occurred to us and they're genuinely being helpful but AIBU to scream in the face of the next person who says this?

OP posts:
imalibra · 21/05/2015 13:57

I'm in my 40s and I (along with my DM and most of my closest friends) are lucky enough to have HA homes. I have no DC and no desire to ever own my own home. My flat is lovely, that area's not bad and most importantly its secure.

Any who, a couple of years ago I had an operation that went horribly wrong (almost died) and now I may be looking at quite a substantial pay out.

My dp (who is a lot younger than me and whose entire family have mortgages) told his DM that I may come into some money and she suggested that I use the only money I'll ever have to put down a deposit.

I think I'm clearly to old and why on earth would I give up my very comfortable flat that hopefully I will be able to stay in until I win the lottery or kick it, whichever comes first .

Newbrummie · 21/05/2015 13:59

The move up north comments are hilarious .... I got brought up north with ex hubby's job ... He was made redundant 5 years later and never worked again, had to go to Australia to find work. Perth is full of northerners and Irish and scots who moved for work, didn't hear many southern accents

expatinscotland · 21/05/2015 14:01

'if you move somewhere where the is near full employment,'

The house prices tend to reflect that Hmm

TinklyLittleLaugh · 21/05/2015 14:05
Arsenic · 21/05/2015 14:16

Are you not worried about changes to housing policy imalibra?

juliascurr · 21/05/2015 14:17

build council houses
problem solved

imalibra · 21/05/2015 14:27

Arsenic

Yes it has crossed my mind, more than it has my friends and my DM.

Tbh as I have no dependents, a rather unstable job I just have to take my chances with whatever future govs decide to do.

Besides would I even get a mortgage at 43? I seriously doubt it. I also plan on saving the money I get for my old age

MaliceInWonderland78 · 21/05/2015 14:28

Expat No they don't. House prices reflect the relative supply and demand - taking account of local wages and availabiliity of capital.

Trust me, where I live a young couple could get onto the housing ladder pretty easily. A 3 bed detached (Alison homes style) costs about 150k. A semi detached (or terraced - which are actually quite rare) could be had for around 100k)

Large detached houses go from anywhere between 250k and 700k.

When you consider that much of the social housing here is also part rent part buy, the opportunities (for those that want them) are pretty good.

Arsenic · 21/05/2015 14:31

Besides would I even get a mortgage at 43?

With a reasonable deposit, why not? There's been some silliness recently re. 40+ borrowers, but a decent broker wouldn't be perturbed, I'm sure.

propelusagain · 21/05/2015 14:33

We have just been given an 18 year mortgage and we are in our 50s.

Arsenic · 21/05/2015 14:36

Or there's always shared ownership, which your HA might be able to refer you to. HA tenants get priority on a lot of schemes.

BuggerMeInBurnley · 21/05/2015 14:40

I just love it when people suggest parents might like to help out.

Errm, because my parents don't have a spare £10,000 lying around because they're not fucking posh cunts well off.

Errm, because even if they did it's their money that they've worked fucking hard all of their lives for so why the fuck would I assume I'm entitled to any of it?

Errm, because I'm a self-respecting adult woman and I don't think it's right for me to be begging for hand-outs from my parents.

Cunts

imalibra · 21/05/2015 14:41

Arsenic

I suppose it may be something to think about but I have never in my entire life ever thought about owning my own property. The only benefit I can see is mobility / flexibility to move wherever or whenever you want and something to pass on to your children.

I just don't think it's worth it.

Arsenic · 21/05/2015 14:44

Sounds a fair assessment, as long as nothing changes.

imalibra · 21/05/2015 15:01

I totally understand the point of not wanting to pay all that money into nothing but with renting with HA (as it stands ) is that I will get new kitchen/ bathroom/ windows/ doors/ boilers and repairs without having yo fork out myself.

Also recent changes to policies (spare room tax) had no effect on me personally and lastly if I was somehow unable to work due to accident or illness, I won't be turfed into the street by mortgage lender or private landlord.

Might seem shortsighted and I'm pretty sure if I was a parent I would think differently.

Newbrummie · 21/05/2015 15:43

I'm starting to wonder if we've all just been brain washed by Margaret thatcher into thinking property ownership is a great idea, strikes me it's a bit of a ball ache, stops us following the work and actually if somebody else wants to fix a boiler for me on Christmas Day - true story, well I'd rather that wasn't me.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 21/05/2015 16:02

Renting is fine if you have security of tenancy and are allowed to make a house into a proper home.

And plenty of landlords would leave you to freeze on Christmas Day.

DinosaursRoar · 21/05/2015 16:06

Well, newbrummie - it depends, it can be a ballache while you're paying the mortgage and bills, but one of the reasons so many people just assume there's parents who've got a few thousand to throw their DCs way is they assume that from around your early 50s, you no longer have housing costs to pay, beyond maintenance. Renting is paying out for the rest of your life.

Annoyingly as well for a lot of long term renters, it filters into other areas, like university funding, the assumption that parents will be able to fund uni often seems to go hand in hand with the assumption that if they've still got a mortgage, it'll be a cheap small one, but probably will be mortgage free, and so can fund DCs easily. The assumption that when older people need care, their adult DCs will be able to pick up the slack as many people are able to reduce their hours/take early retirement once mortgages are cleared, which should be done by then. People will own a house outright that can be sold for care if need be. Pension provision doesn't need to be all that high because you don't need to pay housing costs out of it, and you'll have had a good decade or more of earning but not paying mortgage/rent before retirement to save a lump sum...

skinoncustard · 21/05/2015 16:15

It can be done. Dd finished Uni (21) moved south( not London) to be with partner. They rented , worked and saved for 7 years, bought 3 bed last year, got married, now pregnant.( 29)
No rich parents just work and determination with a lot of sacrifices ( holidays, cars, clothes etc ) thrown in .
We are very proud of them.

LotusLight · 21/05/2015 17:18

Well done to the skin daughter.

The issues on the thread about whether people even want to own with all the costs of getting your roof repaired, subsidence, £2k boiler replacement etc is not a simple one. Plenty of people in the rest of the EU have no desire to own at all.

Arsenic · 21/05/2015 18:17

Plenty of people in the rest of the EU have no desire to own at all.

Plenty of european countries give tenants a much better deal.

If I was still a tenant, I think I'd seriously consider emigrating at this juncture.

loveareadingthanks · 22/05/2015 10:03

Yes, stupid/lazy DP and I for not telling my frail elderly parents who have serious care needs (one with dementia, one nearly blind, both living in own home still), and his young daughter, ta ta and good luck as we will hardly see you any more as we're moving to the other end of the country.

And also us for not 'working hard' enough despite both working since we were 16 years old.

Pure feckless, us. we are clearly just too dumb/obstinate to buy our own house. We should stop wasting money on our one week camping holiday (free field in exchange for work) this year as well.

It's our own fault we can't buy anywhere because our priorities are so obviously wrong. Thanks to all the posters who pointed that out to us on here.

loveareadingthanks · 22/05/2015 10:12

MN sometimes...

OP says ' I wish people wouldn't act like everyone can buy their own home when it isn't always possible'.

Other posters ' But it IS possible for people who really want to and try hard enough'

DinosaursRoar · 22/05/2015 10:15

Loveareadingthanks - I guess it's more that other people can't see the contraints you have in your life that others don't have - it's hard to realise when you talk to someone in their 30s you haven't known that long that they might not have had a straightforward route to this point - so even if they are earning a good wage now, it doesn't mean theyve not had things happen in the past to wipe them out.

loveareadingthanks · 22/05/2015 10:31

But can't they see that they are doing exactly what the OP is complaining about people doing in her post?

You rent but wish you could buy a home?
Move somewhere cheaper then.
Work hard and save up then.
Don't waste money on holidays and cars then.

No fucking shit Sherlock.

To repeat the OP
'Maybe they think that the thought has actually never occurred to us and they're genuinely being helpful but AIBU to scream in the face of the next person who says this?'