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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

"Have you thought about buying?"...

182 replies

NickyEds · 27/04/2015 13:28

As in a house. We're currently (and increasingly desperately) looking for a new house to rent. In our area stuff comes up, is viewed and goes within a day. We're on all the usual websites every day looking for somewhere suitable. The last house we viewed and applied for, 14 other people also applied for and we didn't get it.
If one more person says "If you're having trouble renting, have you thought of buying??"...GGrrrrr. Yes we have thought about it. We don't have thousands of pounds sat about. It's not an option. The question is usually followed by "Can't your parents help you out?". Angry. Maybe they think that the thought has actually never occurred to us and they're genuinely being helpful but AIBU to scream in the face of the next person who says this?

OP posts:
WalterMittyish · 21/05/2015 10:40

YANBU. I can't stand it when people make an incredibly obvious suggestion as if they're the onlg person clever enough to think of it.

It's like when you ask a question on FB - you can guarantee that some bright spark will pipe up 'have you tried Googling it?'

I'd take the piss: 'Buy? What, as in buy a house? Do they let you do that? Woah, this changes EVERYTHING!! Hey, Eric, did you hear this? Apparently we could BUY a house! If only we'd known about this sooner!'

MaliceInWonderland78 · 21/05/2015 11:01

We live on the Norfolk/Cambs/Lincs border. One of the things I love about living here is the opportunity. A working couple on a little over minimum wage would have the opportunity to get a place of their own - especially with shared ownership.

It would be even easier if BTL Landlords weren't quite so prevalent and buying properties (new builds) unseen - due to the fact that we have near 'full employment'

I halved my salary to come here, but we are much better off in almost every other way. Sometimes (though not for everyone) it's about having the bravery to 'step off the treadmill' and forging a new path in what is (perhaps) a less desirable or expensive area.

loveareadingthanks · 21/05/2015 11:05

Yes, sometimes it is possible to move and if it were possible for us, I would. But it isn't. And I suspect it isn't for most people.

lljkk · 21/05/2015 11:14

Lljkk btl is the biggest housing problem at the moment. If btl didnt exist the houses wouldnt be as expensive so no need for renting in most cases.

Still not answering. What if I take a contract job for 6 months, or even I take a permanent job but it's early days & I need to see if I really want to stick with the job long term. I don't know or even want to move to the area for certain. I don't qualify for council housing or even want it. I'm quite happy to rent privately. Maybe I just left my parents' house so I haven't saved up yet and I need a while to get to know the area before I buy. Or maybe I never want to buy because I like to change my employment often. I might want a room in a shared house, but I strongly prefer to not lodge WITH my landlord. So where do I go live??? A caravan? The existence of NO private rentals would create massive problems.

mac12 · 21/05/2015 11:29

OP YANBU. It drives me mad. There is a parent at school who is fascinated by the fact we are in our 40s and renting. Every time the conversation seems to come round to "so, are you still renting?" "don't you want to buy?" "wouldn't you like to have your own home?"
So far I have been super upbeat about all the benefits of renting but it's through gritted teeth. Of course we want to buy! We just can't afford it, you tactless insensitive smug arghhhhhh Angry
I do like WalterMittyish's idea above: "Buy a house? You mean they let you do that? That changes everything."

Very tempted...

Babymamamama · 21/05/2015 11:36

It is dreadful nowadays. I feel for people around my way in the capital who haven't got in the ladder. Myself and partner and dd are stuck on the first rung but still grateful for that. I did shared ownership and then staircased quickly. But that was a good while ago. Other options which seem to help are housing association rentals / developments for key workers. I know asking parents is not ideal but some really self less parents of friends who I know have actually downsized without too much pain thus enabling their kids to get some kind of family home without moving hundreds of miles from their roots. Seems like a win win. We aren't fortunate enough to be part of the baby boomer generation when houses were relatively cheap as chips.

MaliceInWonderland78 · 21/05/2015 11:49

Actually, I'd say there VERY few people (hardly any in fact) for whom 'not moving' is really the only option. It's just about what your priorities are, and how improtant owning your own home is.

I make no judgement on those thngs, but to say that it is not possitbe for most people doesn't seem right to me.

Kittymum03 · 21/05/2015 12:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 21/05/2015 12:23

I'm not so sure about the whole buy to let thing being a big money maker. DH and me have our own business and, having rubbish pension provision but some spare capital, bought a house to rent to my sister. She is a single mother on a part time wage and really needed a secure home. The house is nice, and we keep on top of maintenance and we make about 3 or 4% on it. Yes, better than a bank, but not brilliant. House has also dropped in value since we bought it.

We though about buying another rental, up north where we live. Bearing in mind we wanted to make at least 5%, and we also want to be decent landlords, letting out a nice place and keeping on top of the maintenance, we just couldn't make the figures stack up.

judypoovey26 · 21/05/2015 12:24

Kittymum03 that's terrible. I believe it's actually illegal for a LL to let themselves into your home without prior warning and permission from the tenant.

expatinscotland · 21/05/2015 12:33

'Actually, I'd say there VERY few people (hardly any in fact) for whom 'not moving' is really the only option. It's just about what your priorities are, and how improtant owning your own home is.'

Utter bullshit if you cannot move your job or easily find/get hired for another one, you know, that thing you need to pay a mortgage. Hmm

TinklyLittleLaugh · 21/05/2015 12:38

We moved up north from London, it was a logistical nightmare in that it is difficult to get a job if you have nowhere to live, and difficult to find somewhere to live without a job. We only managed it because DH has family here.

WonderingWillow · 21/05/2015 12:40

YANBU OP.

SevenAteNine · 21/05/2015 13:01

TinklyLittleLaugh, and all the other buy to let landlords: Poor you.

Long term, the house will go up in value. And 3% isn't bad! Perhaps you could do better working, but long term you are onto a winner.

I feel no sympathy for any buy to let landlord. And I say that as someone who is about to become one! I feel like I'm part of the problem with housing in this country, and I hate that in order to secure my future I have to take an opportunity from a family with less capital than us.

Ultimately, though, I don't want my children to have their options limited when they get older.

Kittymum03 · 21/05/2015 13:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DinosaursRoar · 21/05/2015 13:12

I think the "why don't you buy?" question is often asked if you are a 30-someting with professional jobs and relatively young children/just starting a family, then the assumption isn't that you'll just save £10k that year, but that you'll have quite a large nest egg saved up from saving in your 20s.

that's often not possible if one or both partners have done the "extended student" lifestyle of getting a PhD - that effectively rules out years of "putting a bit away" that adds up to deposit levels, and then hit their 30s without that savings cushion, but in this market, not automatically earning vastly more than they would if they'd started their career after a first degree.

There are many reasons that 30-something people with professional careers/earning considerably above average wages unfortunately missed the opportunity in their 20s to save a deposit, but most people talking to you now, knowing what sort of jobs you have, will just assume that you do have savings if you've never spent that "nest egg everyone like us has" on a house deposit, therefore it's a choice not to buy.

(Oh and I have met people in their 30s who could easily buy but for various 'ideological' reasons chose not to. It could be some of those saying "why don't you buy" have met some of those people and think it might be a choice.)

TinklyLittleLaugh · 21/05/2015 13:22

On the contrary Seven "poor you" with your wishy washy, middle class guilt.

Personally I am quite happy with my choices; I didn't make them primarily for financial reasons.

I hope you have looked really hard at your figures though, like I said, it's very difficult to make them stack up at the moment.

Kittymum03 · 21/05/2015 13:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SevenAteNine · 21/05/2015 13:25

I think anyone who owns a property and asks someone who is renting that question is being an arse. It's none of their business.

I'd never ask that question, ever.

Onecurrantbun · 21/05/2015 13:26

I'm probably super ignorant about this too. I saved up £5k in one year on a £10k a year job - granted I lived with mum and dad paying only £200pm board and didn't run a car. Round here that would be a 5% deposit on a 3-bed semi in a safe, nice but not aspirational area. A doer up would cost even less.

This means that most of our friends become ftb around 26/27, especially if they're in couples.

Onecurrantbun · 21/05/2015 13:28

YANBU about people saying it like it's a brand new idea - but some people are genuinely clueless (myself included!)

SevenAteNine · 21/05/2015 13:31

Tinkly: I don't feel guilt about what I'm doing. I am playing the system, like everyone else with the capital to do so does. I'm merely saying it's dysfunctional.

MaliceInWonderland78 · 21/05/2015 13:37

Utter bullshit if you cannot move your job or easily find/get hired for another one, you know, that thing you need to pay a mortgage.

if you move somewhere where the is near full employment, you'll be able to find work and pay a mortgage. It happens all the time. I've done it.

If you have a very specific job which you're not prepared ot give up, which is to say that you want to prioritise your career over home ownership (I'm not saying that's wrong) then you might not be able to own a place of your own.

SevenAteNine · 21/05/2015 13:37

As to the figures, well you have to look to the longer term; 3% is actually not bad at all. In fact, if the place I'm buying is empty in the long run I will still be OK, because ultimately it will be worth more in the future than it is now.

SevenAteNine · 21/05/2015 13:40

Although I do owe you an apology for the "poor little you" comment. I didn't mean to sound so sarcastic.

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