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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not understand middle names with no meaning?

144 replies

QueenofKelsingra · 13/01/2015 11:37

Just been lurking about on baby names.

Can someone please explain the rationale of spending months agonising over finding a second name that they love, just for it to be a middle name that is basically never used other than on official paperwork? I don't get it Confused

My 3 DC have middle names that belonged to family members no longer with us that we wanted to remember and wanted the kids to be aware of as they grow up. it would never occur to DH and I to used a name we just liked as a middle name - save it for the next DC! plus it took us long enough to find one name we liked enough for each DC first name

If you have no-one you want to commemorate why give a middle name at all??

OP posts:
superbagpuss · 13/01/2015 11:40

We all have bible middle names and I did this to my DC

For me it's important to have a connection to our faith

youareallbonkers · 13/01/2015 11:41

How do you know there is no meaning?

Original poster
QueenofKelsingra · 13/01/2015 11:41

that's a nice tradition bagpuss and yes, a nice connection for them.

OP posts:
Original poster
QueenofKelsingra · 13/01/2015 11:43

youareallbonkers I just said I've been lurking on babynames and there are many posts along the lines of 'what middle name goes with XXX?' if you asking for general suggestions online the middle name isn't going to have meaning. unless you will bring your child up to know that 'some person I don't really know on the internet chose your name'

OP posts:
IneedAwittierNickname · 13/01/2015 11:43

My middle name has no meaning. My parents just liked it.
My own ds' are named after people who are sadly no longer here.
lots of people have told me that's weird and morbid.

Meh. Each to their own.

KingJoffreyObviouslyWatchesHol · 13/01/2015 11:44

Giving a child the name of a dead relative is odder.

Can't you just remember the relative and give your child their own name?

NeedABumChange · 13/01/2015 11:46

Some people use full names quite a lot. Some people like to have a nice middle name is DC doesn't like their first name but mostly I think people just like to give their children nice names, not sure why you find that odd. I find it odd to name people after dead people but there you go.

Original poster
QueenofKelsingra · 13/01/2015 11:47

they do have their own name - their first name which they go by every day.

DH and I both have 'family' middle names and now as adults we really love that connection to family members we never got to know personally.

OP posts:
Manyproblemsinthishouse · 13/01/2015 11:47

Me, my mother, my grandmother and my daughter all have the same middle name. It wasn't a special name it was just a name my great grandma liked and it was made special by passing it through the generations :)

PercyGherkin · 13/01/2015 11:49

You don't understand - that's your prerogative to choose how to name your children. Someone else can do whatever they want. Some middle names do get more use than others anyway.

I think it's odder looking at DSIL here to choose bloody ugly names to pass on in memory of relatives who the child never knew.

(Caveat - my children have middle names with meaning - but that's just how it worked out. I have two middle names, one with meaning, one without. DH doesn't have one at all.)

Original poster
QueenofKelsingra · 13/01/2015 11:49

needsa I find it odd because it is so superfluous. I have only ever used my middle name when filling out forms, it seems a 'waste' of a favourite name to me as it will virtually never be used if it has only been picked because it is 'nice'. I don't use mine in everyday but I know its there and reminds me of my grandfather who I never knew which feels special to me.

OP posts:
youareallbonkers · 13/01/2015 11:50

Perhaps they want to give the child a choice in the future? Why does using a relatives name make it right and just a random name wrong?

LiviaDruscillaAugusta · 13/01/2015 11:50

As far as I know, middle names have often had no specific meaning.

When I was at school, all the girls I knew had middle names (usually Louise, Clare or Jane!) - I didn't even know that a "meaningful" middle name was a "thing".

Bumbiscuits · 13/01/2015 11:50

I gave one of my kids the name of a very much alive, and beloved, relative. How odd are we on your scale?

WhirlyTwirlySnowflakes · 13/01/2015 11:52

There are several possible reasons:

The first name is unusual and they wanted to give the DC an alternative more traditional name. (We did this)

They really liked both names and couldn't decide so used one as a middle name. (One of my sisters did this)

They have a very common surname (eg Smith) and wanted to give the DC more chance of having a unique name from an identification point of view. There will more more Jane Smiths than Jane Annabelle Smiths for example. (My other sister did this)

They just like how it sounds?

You do sound a tad overly bothered about this. Not everyone finds picking a name as traumatic as you seem to have done.

Also consider that not everyone will have more babies or have the opportunity to 'use the name the next time'.

QueenTilly · 13/01/2015 11:52

People grow up with different traditions. I grew up thinking that middle names should be nice names, that you liked having. So for my children, I tried to choose some nice middle and first names.

Waitingonasunnyday · 13/01/2015 11:52

I think having a middle name is essential for proper telling off. It helps me get into cross Mummy role.

'Kelsingra-Middlename go and think about your attitude'

Look, it works!

SophieBarringtonWard · 13/01/2015 11:52

I agree with you OP. Personally, middle names are for significant names, not just "sounds nice with" names.

LiviaDruscillaAugusta · 13/01/2015 11:52

But I wouldn't dream of questioning someone else's name choice because its none of my business.

BornToFolk · 13/01/2015 11:53

DS has got a middle name with no meaning, according to your criteria. There were two names that exP and I really liked and DS was going to be one or the other and have the other one as his middle name. He's turned out to be an only child so I'm pleased that I used both of my favourite boys' names. There was no agonising and no consulting other people either, FWIW, we just chose two names that we both liked.

Isn't it just the usual cultural thing in the UK to have one first name and one middle name? Seems to be the usual thing amongst my family and friends. Sometimes middle names commemorate a family member but not always. My sister has one of our grandmother's names as her middle name as she died shortly before my sister was born but me and my other siblings just have middle names that our parents liked.

Waitingonasunnyday · 13/01/2015 11:53

(Although to be fair, both my DC do have family middle names so they have a meaning too. But they are also more useful than I had anticipated.)

msgrinch · 13/01/2015 11:54

my middle name is the name of my mums childhood imaginary friend. Grin

2tired2bewitty · 13/01/2015 11:55

I think middle names generally are an important way of distinguishing between people, particularly in databases. It would get pretty confusing pretty quickly if you had no way of quickly identifying which J Smith you were after, for example.

So once you have decided you want/need one why should it have to be meaningful? We have two dds, but none of our grandmothers had names we were desperate to reuse (Muriel anyone?) so we just picked names that sounded nice with their first names, and give them options when they are older.

Nolim · 13/01/2015 11:57

A middle name can be choosen for several reasons: familiar name, cultural tradition, sounds good with the first name, in case the child does not like the first name or decides to go by middle name later, in case someone else in their class have the same first name…
I didnt know i was irritating people by choosing a middle name.

SwedishEdith · 13/01/2015 11:57

Some people don't like their first name so a nice middle name gives them another option. I imagine if you've been named after lovely Uncle Adolf you wouldn't have that choice. Middle names are fun- a chance to be as indulgent as you want.