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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To put my toddler in 2nd hand pants?

113 replies

Failedspinster · 30/12/2014 15:28

Bit of a weird one here. My mum has some neighbours to whom she is very close; they are really kind people and coincidentally have two sons just a little older than my two. They have very generously passed on their boys' outgrown clothes for the last couple of years, since i had my toddler. I'm very grateful for all their help.

Recently, they sent a lot of underpants. My toddler son (2.8yo) is just starting potty training and so this is the first time that pants have been passed on. AIBU to feel a bit icky about putting my son in second hand pants? They are clean and have been washed, but I can't shake this slightly icky feeling about it. Im normally very happy (and grateful) for him to wear everything they send....but pants?

I wore a lot of second hand clothes growing up but pants and shoes were always new, for reasons of hygiene and fit, respectively. My mum keeps telling me that I don't need to buy my son pants as her neighbours have passed on plenty, so she definitely doesn't seem to feel icky about it. But I do! Also, I'd like to feel that at least my sons pants were his own. It seems an illogical feeling to have thiugh, so what do you think? aIBU?

OP posts:
elvislives2012 · 30/12/2014 15:29

YANBU pants aren't expensive. Second hand pants feels a bit gross to me

brokenhearted55a · 30/12/2014 15:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

puntasticusername · 30/12/2014 15:32

YANBU - I am perfectly happy to have pretty much anything else second hand, but not pants. It may not be entirely logical, but there it is. I don't think I'll even keep DS1's for DS2.

Passthecake30 · 30/12/2014 15:32

If he has a slip up at school he'll most likely be wearing second hand from their stocks.

I bought new for my kids as had no hand me downs, but if I were in your position I'd let him choose a pack of special ones and keep the others as spares/backups (after putting them in a hot bio wash)

Purplepoodle · 30/12/2014 15:33

I would feel icky. Iv used pants between my own dc but I think that's different

alteredimages · 30/12/2014 15:34

I was just going to start a thread about the exact same thing! Have been given a big pile of hand me downs by someone very close to us (DD has previously worn their children's pants after peeing herself at their house) and there are pants in there as well as wash cloths for down below. I am also too freaked out to use them, so I say YANBU.

fredfredgeorgejnr · 30/12/2014 15:38

So a pair of trousers that a nappy leaked poo all over, or a baby gro covered with vomit and washed is fine, but underwear not? Why?

ZenNudist · 30/12/2014 15:39

Yep chuck. Ime potty training pants get so much washing I doubt they'd survive the first owner. Something like £7 for 7 well worth it for new.

SapphireMoon · 30/12/2014 15:40

The more pants the better with potty training....

dannydyerismydad · 30/12/2014 15:41

I bought all new pants for DS, but since potty training, he's ended up in spare nursery and spare friends pants too.

I'd keep them. You never know when you might be grateful for extras!

ClimbingFramePlanningEnquiry · 30/12/2014 15:43

They're clean. And you could wash them again, if you're bothered.

I'd use them. But as the thread shows, there are plenty who wouldn't.

PoppySausage · 30/12/2014 15:43

Dd has loads of second hand undies, washed hot, no problem

frostyrivers · 30/12/2014 15:44

It wouldn't bother me, but there is nothing wrong whatsoever in not doing something because you don't like the idea of it :)

If ever the saying "Your baby, your rules" was applicable - the time is now.

erin99 · 30/12/2014 15:44

I think it's illogical but then we did cloth nappies (including handmedowns) so my 'ick' settings are pretty low anyway.

It's only pants. Don't use them if you don't want to, like any other handmedowns for your DS. Just don't think badly of your neighbour for offering them - she is not forcing you to use them.

Islander79 · 30/12/2014 15:45

I'd use them - my son wore a lot of 2nd hand cloth nappies! But if it bothers you, pass the pants to a charity shop and buy new. No big deal...

SirChenjin · 30/12/2014 15:47

It wouldn't bother me. I was grateful to my friend for her hand me down pants when the DCs were at that stage - although maybe it was the fact that I knew her which made it OK Confused

If you don't like the idea then bin them - or keep them as emergency spares in the car?

Mammanat222 · 30/12/2014 15:47

I would maybe keep them for emergencies?

reddaisy · 30/12/2014 15:48

I wouldn't have a problem with using them and I hand ours down too. You can never have too many pants! You will need spares everywhere (handbag, car, preschool bag etc) so they will come in v handy.

crapcrapcrapcrap · 30/12/2014 15:51

I gave a friend a big bag of undies when she was potty training her DS. She looked horrified, momentarily, and I think she probably politely binned them once I was gone!

I just told her I'd found second hand pants a boon because anything grotty could just be binned. I stand by it. She's still my friend!

Artandco · 30/12/2014 15:52

I would use them. They are clean and have been washed. Means you can buy some nicer, maybe more expensive type in the next size for once he is properly trained.

I buy my children underwear from petite bateau as 100% cotton and fit well. But aren't cheap, so would happily receive spares of same type.

Dancingincircles · 30/12/2014 15:55

When kids wet themselves at nursery or school they are given clean dry second hand pants to wear.

Artandco · 30/12/2014 15:56

Oh, I have never thrown pants away due to toilet accidents either. They wore cloth nappies anyway beforehand, so washing odd wee accident, or tipping poo in loo and washing was exactly the same

Eastpoint · 30/12/2014 15:58

We were given some & used them & dd2 has dd1's old pants now - petit bateau which cost a fortune but are still in use years later. If you don't want them you could give them to your child's nursery, I'm sure they'd be grateful.

5madthings · 30/12/2014 16:00

The madthings had some hand me down.pants and I re used pants from one madthings to the next. Madthing5 is wearing bob the builder pants today that I bought for madthing1 as a toddler, he is now 15 so they have done well!

CountingThePennies · 30/12/2014 16:02

Would you wear knickers that a friend had given you that she no longer wanted?

If the answer is no, then dont put your child in second hand underwear.

When i lived with my parents as a teen, my sister and i had to do our own washing. My sister always let her washing pile up and therfore was always short of knickers after a while. So she used to pinch mine!!!

Yuk! I would never wear them after she had worn them so i was very frequently buying knickers

Angry