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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To put my toddler in 2nd hand pants?

113 replies

Failedspinster · 30/12/2014 15:28

Bit of a weird one here. My mum has some neighbours to whom she is very close; they are really kind people and coincidentally have two sons just a little older than my two. They have very generously passed on their boys' outgrown clothes for the last couple of years, since i had my toddler. I'm very grateful for all their help.

Recently, they sent a lot of underpants. My toddler son (2.8yo) is just starting potty training and so this is the first time that pants have been passed on. AIBU to feel a bit icky about putting my son in second hand pants? They are clean and have been washed, but I can't shake this slightly icky feeling about it. Im normally very happy (and grateful) for him to wear everything they send....but pants?

I wore a lot of second hand clothes growing up but pants and shoes were always new, for reasons of hygiene and fit, respectively. My mum keeps telling me that I don't need to buy my son pants as her neighbours have passed on plenty, so she definitely doesn't seem to feel icky about it. But I do! Also, I'd like to feel that at least my sons pants were his own. It seems an illogical feeling to have thiugh, so what do you think? aIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
Failedspinster · 30/12/2014 16:04

Thanks ladies! I think I will buy him new ones but keep the others as backup pants just in case. This makes sense in my weird illogical brain!

OP posts:
ILovedYouYesterday · 30/12/2014 16:06

It wouldn't bother me at that age but, since it does bother you, just get rid quietly, and don't mention it to your mum (if she'll keep on about it) one pair of tiny pants looks much like another so she'll never know!

If your boys go to nursery, they'd probably be very grateful for a bag of spare pants if you don't want them going to waste.

forago · 30/12/2014 16:08

my ds3 is in third hand pants :) - but they've come down from his brothers. I have bought him a few pair of his own character pants as well.

At nursery he often came home in their spares which were donated by leavers. I know what you're all saying but by the time he came home after wearing them.all day it seemed fine to be honest and a few have crept into his undie drawer I think.

If you're still to potty train I'd wash them and save them for that I think as they are often only I. them for 5 minutes and a few will get thrown out along the way ....

springlamb · 30/12/2014 16:14

It might bother me a little.
But then I am a knicker-and-pant-ironer so I might be a little...strange...about these things.
But wowee when I think of the stuff the dc have come home from nursery in after accidents! Our nurseries must have had the most eclectic collection of 'spares' in the universe. DS came home once in pink frilly things (but don't tell him that). I used to complain bitterly to DH, then wash the things and send them back for the next victim.
So really, I have no idea why I'd be uncomfortable putting them in these pants.

erin99 · 30/12/2014 16:14

If you are really not keen you could always offer them to nursery/preschool if he has one. Ours were always grateful for them as people often don't get round to returning 'borrowed' ones.

When DD was training we could easily get through 10 pairs in a day so the more spares the better!

ChristmasEva50 · 30/12/2014 16:20

It wouldn't bother me. My three have had most things second hand. I do have friends who like everything new though. It seems like such a waste.

Squtternutbaush · 30/12/2014 16:23

Bizarrely this weirds me out a bit despite that every single one of my daughters cloth nappies are second hand Confused

I'm not sure why, I think its because I wouldn't want to wear second hand underwear.

Original poster
Failedspinster · 30/12/2014 16:24

Just as a matter of interest - is there anyone who would feel icky about second hand pants on a girl, but not a boy?

OP posts:
SirChenjin · 30/12/2014 16:34

Nope. I was given pants for both DD and DS - but I think it might have been the fact that I knew the hand-me-downer which made the difference.

Greenfizzywater · 30/12/2014 16:38

I've used second hand pants and passed my kids' pants on to others. They're clean FFS!

AuditAngel · 30/12/2014 16:41

We have had plenty of hand me down pants, but mostly from cousins.

I have sent outgrown ones into nursery in the past, but after an outbreak of nasties, this no longer seems to be allowed. I had to have words one day when DD2 had an accident and they threw her (almost brand new Next) pants away. I sent in the receipt and deducted the amount from my fees.

LadyLuck10 · 30/12/2014 16:45

Yanbu. Underwear is so cheap surely someone should have that basic brand new. Would you use second hand underwear op?

Viviennemary · 30/12/2014 16:46

I don't think I'd use them. Can't quite give a reason. But no.

LizzieMint · 30/12/2014 16:52

I'm really surprised at how many of you wouldn't use them. Mine have had many second-hand pants, and we've passed a lot on too. When my friends have been round and their LOs have an accident, they borrow pants. Mine have come home from nursery and school wearing borrowed pants.

What do you do with old ones if you yourself don't use second hand ones? Bin them?

mathanxiety · 30/12/2014 16:55

YANBU. Buy new, undies are cheap. My DCs wear lots of handmedowns and I buy second hand too, but I draw the line at pants from someone else.

Jollyphonics · 30/12/2014 16:55

I'm astounded so many people have a problem with it. DS1 has second hand pants from my friend's son, and DS2 has them when DS1 outgrows them, if they survive.

They've been washed, so what's the big deal?

The only second hand thing I never use for my kids is shoes, but that's because someone else's shoes will have been stretched etc and won't fit properly.

CeeloWeevil · 30/12/2014 16:56

It's a long time sinced I was potty training my DSs, but I DO remember that you simply CAN'T have enough pants when they're first learning to control their bladder Smile. i would use them and be grateful!

AWimbaWay · 30/12/2014 17:01

My dcs all wear hand me down underwear, it didn't even occur to me people would find it odd. I do work in a reception class where children are constantly having to borrow our class spare pants though so maybe I'm just more used to the idea.

Artandco · 30/12/2014 17:03

It's not that they are cheap so replaceable. Why would you want to keep buying more and more products if not needed? We are already such a consumerist world without buying even more of an item you already have but want to throw! It's illogical.

The secondhand pants washed repeatedly, will be much cleaner than a new pair unwashed. The factories floors most cheap clothing is made in is disgusting. Which is why you shouldn't wear a new item of clothing without washing.

ConfusedInBath · 30/12/2014 17:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ThePrincessWhoSatOnTheSprout · 30/12/2014 17:10

Use them for potty training. Some will only be on 5 minutes before you need another pair!

NorahBone · 30/12/2014 17:10

My boy's in 2nd hand nappies and has been handed down pants for when he's older. Didn't occur to me to be grossed out.

OriginalGreenGiant · 30/12/2014 17:15

There was more than one pair of pants went straight in the bin if one of mine had a poo accident when training for the potty. I cannot handle scraping sticky, sat on poo down the toilet.

Keep them!

5madthings · 30/12/2014 17:16

Op re the girl/boy comment. The first four madthings are boys, Madthing5 is a girl and wears their old pants. She prefers the boys fitted boxer style pants anyway.

5madthings · 30/12/2014 17:16

And I also binned manky pooed in pants.

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