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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be livid about this?? (Xmas working hours related)

98 replies

Mammanat222 · 28/11/2014 11:41

In-fact I am beyond livid, I am in tears.

OK so I agreed early on to work the festive period [we are a software co. but we don't close down completely so need skeleton staff]. I was off 2012 and 2013 on maternity leave so even though I am the only one with children I felt it only fair to volunteer. I had no issues at all with this.

Colleague advised me a few weeks back that she doesn't need to take Xmas Eve and she made quite a big deal of offering it to me. I was thrilled though, means I get a nice 5 day break and means I can see family on Xmas Eve I would have otherwise missed and I can attend a friends little one's Birthday party.

Today colleague advises that actually she has taken Christmas Eve after all. Not entirely her fault as the way the holidays work at our stupid co. means she has to take X amount of time this year as she can only carry over a certain amount of days.

I am so fucking annoyed though. I have made plans based on having that extra day off.

I guess I know deep down I am BU. Not to drip feed but I go on maternity leave from 6th Jan and my DS is only little but I am still annoyed - I adore Christmas and love to see as many family and friends as I can.

I think what annoys me most is how blasé colleague has been about it all. It's not fair to mess people around at this time of year???

OP posts:
Floralnomad · 28/11/2014 11:46

I don't understand your OP at all , I've no idea what you are working ,but it really annoys me when people think that because they have children that makes them more entitled to not work at christmas . Perhaps your colleague also wants to see as many friends and family as she can at christmas . YABVVVU.

CaptainAnkles · 28/11/2014 11:48

YABU, and you know it already. It's not like you've been forced to work on what would have been your only day off, now is it?

wowfudge · 28/11/2014 11:49

Calm down - it's one day and you are going off on mat leave on 6th Jan. You've said yourself she's now had to take that day because of the way holidays work in the company, yet you want to blame her for being blase? Biscuit

nequidnimis · 28/11/2014 11:49

I can understand your disappointment, but I do think YABU to be so angry for the following reasons :

You volunteered to work over Xmas
Your colleague needs to use holidays
You had the last two Xmas periods off
You go on maternity leave on 6/1
You will still have a nice 4-day break

Make the most of the days off you do have, and evenings, and catch up with friends and family in January.

MaidOfStars · 28/11/2014 11:49

it really annoys me when people think that because they have children that makes them more entitled to not work at christmas

I don't get that from the OP at all.

OP volunteered to work Christmas (because she hasn't worked the previous two). Colleague told her that OP could take Christmas Eve off. OP made plans etc. Colleague then told OP she has to work Christmas Eve because colleague is taking it off after all.

OP, it's annoying. But I don't see what you can do really.

Floralnomad · 28/11/2014 11:52

OP says even though I am the only one with children I felt it only fair to volunteer ,that's where I got it from .

TheFairyCaravan · 28/11/2014 11:52

Well it's annoying to think you are having the day off then find out you're not, but you've had the last two years off and you're going to be of next year, presumably, so YABabitU.

ShatnersBassoon · 28/11/2014 11:53

It's just a minor change to plans, you'll still get some time off. What sort of hours are you expected to work on Christmas Eve? Regular office hours (in which case you'll probably get sent home early anyway)?

SoonToBeSix · 28/11/2014 11:55

Is this a reverse op?

Original poster
Mammanat222 · 28/11/2014 11:57

I agreed to work all over Xmas - fine

Then colleague said she didn't need to use Xmas Eve and made a big song and dance about letting me have it "it will be nice for little one" - her words.

So I made plans based on this - to attend a Birthday party and see family who I otherwise won't see

Colleague has now taken Xmas Eve after all.

Not that is makes much difference but colleague (I say colleague we've worked together 10 years and she is more of a friend) hates Xmas and often chooses to work as you tend to get early finishes / late starts.

It's the fact she knew she'd offered Xmas Eve to me and made a big deal of how gracious she was being, knows I love this time of year, knows I am tired and hormonal and to top it all off knows I made plans as I told her I would as soon as she said I could have that day off?

OP posts:
Lomega · 28/11/2014 11:57

Wow. 50% of my family work in health care and so every year is a gamble as to whether they get any time off over xmas at all. My poor DM had to work xmas day twice in a row! And my DH got xmas off this year but only on the proviso he does x4 night shifts in a row from boxing day onwards.

YABU

Original poster
Mammanat222 · 28/11/2014 11:59

No it's not a reverse

And yes now written down I see it's really not a big deal.

It's just annoying.

OP posts:
DidoTheDodo · 28/11/2014 11:59

So you were off last Christmas and the Christmas before, and you're going on maternity leave a week after the Christmas break....and you still demand the days off that you want. (And out of the 5 day break you were hoping for, you're having to give one day back so your colleague can take her leave allowance?)
YABU.

spamanderson · 28/11/2014 11:59

Sorry but yes yabu. Yes it's annoying but as you say you're off on maternity leave on 6th Jan, you've had the last 2 Christmases off and it's only Xmas eve that you thought you were getting off and now have to work... Is that right?

Original poster
Mammanat222 · 28/11/2014 12:00

I don't work in healthcare, so whilst I appreciate that some people have it tougher than I do etc.. that isn't really the issue.

Issue is colleague being a wee bit inconsiderate.

OP posts:
BolshierAyraStark · 28/11/2014 12:00

I do understand why you're pissed off, however, If you didn't want to work then don't volunteer, it's that simple.

kilmuir · 28/11/2014 12:00

Blimey you sound a nightmare

GoodKingQuintless · 28/11/2014 12:03

Surely this must be a reverse? Nobody can be this entitled? (Aside from maybe Liftzilla)

You are going in your third maternity leave in a 4 year period, not having worked in 2012 and 2014, and you are beyond livid and in tears?

With the bank holidays this festive season you will hardly work at all between Christmas and 6th Jan

You need a grip.

InfinitySeven · 28/11/2014 12:03

Colleague probably couldn't do anything about it.

I've volunteered to work to let colleagues with parents off before, but that kind of offer can easily be vetoed if the company don't agree. In this case, they have required your colleague to take it off so that she doesn't lose the holiday. It was nice of her to give you the day, regardless of what she thinks of Christmas - she was working a day she didn't have too so that you could have it off, and that's nice at any time of the year, but especially at Christmas. To give you the day off now, she'd have to work and lose a day's holiday, which is a much bigger ask.

Plus, it's only Christmas Eve. You've got Christmas Day off, and you're off for a long period a few days later!

Chin up. It won't be so bad. The office will probably be in a festive mood, and you could always get a stash of Christmas-y food and music to amuse yourself with while you work?

The magic of Christmas Eve for your son will be at night time, so you'll be there for that, and for the big moment the next day!

GoodKingQuintless · 28/11/2014 12:04

sorry, not worked 2012 and 2013, and now wont work 2015. Blimey.

PrincessTheresaofLiechtenstein · 28/11/2014 12:05

I would be highly embarrassed to offer a colleague a day off, allow her to make plans, know how pleased she was about it and then announce that she couldn't have it after all. i think all the other stuff is irrelevant, really. So on that basis YANBU.

lornathewizzard · 28/11/2014 12:05

It is just me thinking that you could just start your maternity leave earlier? Probably not the most helpful of things to do for the company but you can choose to go off whenever you want as long as you let them know in enough time (and its after a certain week that I cannot remember).

DidoTheDodo · 28/11/2014 12:05

It's not inconsiderate to take your full leave allowance. It can sometimes be very difficult to fit all annual leave in with the needs of the business.

You're about to go on mat leave for possibly a ear (and I know it is different) but you begrudge your friend taking a single day to complete her leave allowance for the year.

spamanderson · 28/11/2014 12:05

How is your colleague being inconsiderate?! By taking something she's entitled to?

SomethingFunny · 28/11/2014 12:05

I actually feel sympathy for you. Take christmas out of the equation: you offered to work, you collegue offered the day back to you, you made plans and now she is taking the day off and you have to work after all and change your plans. No wonder you feel messed around (even though it's not your friend's fault).

Nothing much you can do about it though.