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Original poster

To be livid about this?? (Xmas working hours related)

98 replies

Mammanat222 · 28/11/2014 11:41

In-fact I am beyond livid, I am in tears.

OK so I agreed early on to work the festive period [we are a software co. but we don't close down completely so need skeleton staff]. I was off 2012 and 2013 on maternity leave so even though I am the only one with children I felt it only fair to volunteer. I had no issues at all with this.

Colleague advised me a few weeks back that she doesn't need to take Xmas Eve and she made quite a big deal of offering it to me. I was thrilled though, means I get a nice 5 day break and means I can see family on Xmas Eve I would have otherwise missed and I can attend a friends little one's Birthday party.

Today colleague advises that actually she has taken Christmas Eve after all. Not entirely her fault as the way the holidays work at our stupid co. means she has to take X amount of time this year as she can only carry over a certain amount of days.

I am so fucking annoyed though. I have made plans based on having that extra day off.

I guess I know deep down I am BU. Not to drip feed but I go on maternity leave from 6th Jan and my DS is only little but I am still annoyed - I adore Christmas and love to see as many family and friends as I can.

I think what annoys me most is how blasé colleague has been about it all. It's not fair to mess people around at this time of year???

OP posts:
brownie31 · 28/11/2014 12:59

If you've booked Xmas eve off though doesn't that just mean you colleague can't have it now - is it not first come first served? I wouldn't have thought she could just change her mind if you'd booked it subsequently, but it probably works differently at different companies.

TheRealMaryMillington · 28/11/2014 13:04

It will be ok, OP, its just a minor inconvenience, and you have plenty of notice. You were keen to do the right thing by your colleagues, this way you will be.

I always liked working Xmas Eve, we'd have Christmassy internet radio on, be generally cheery and knock off early. Work from home now and almost feel nostalgic about it.

unclerory · 28/11/2014 13:08

I think livid is a bit strong but I can see why you are pissed off at being messed around. Unless your company is extremely flakey wrt annual leave then she will have known all year how much leave she could carry over to next year. So having offered to work this day she's now taking it back because she can't use it at any other time in the next month? I would think she's been invited to an event on Christmas Eve and has just decided she wants it off. Of course there's not much you can do about it so you just have to suck it up but have some chocolate and a good cry to yourself because YANBU to be upset about being messed about when you are heavily pregnant with small kids.

Fallingovercliffs · 28/11/2014 13:11

Well if she can take the day anytime between now and Christmas then I think it's mean to go back on her promise to let you have Christmas Eve off. I can understand you being annoyed with her, given your clarification. But I wouldn't say anything to her about it. You'll be gone from early January for a while, so no point causing yourself stress over it.

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 28/11/2014 13:15

So you were off last Christmas on maternity and you were off the christnas before on maternity.

You also go on Maternity again 6th Jan?

Working christmas this year is probably the least you can do!! Thats a lot of time off work in a very small window.

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 28/11/2014 13:16

And Ive just seen your update and you arent even at work Christmas Day! So yoh are unhappy about working Christmas Eve once within a three year timeframe? YABspectacularlyU.

Jessica85 · 28/11/2014 13:22

I can see why you're annoyed. All the other stuff about being off previous years and going on mat leave don't really matter. Your friend offered you the day off instead of her, you made plans and now she's gone back on the promise. That is annoying.

Original poster
Mammanat222 · 28/11/2014 13:23

If you've booked Xmas eve off though doesn't that just mean you colleague can't have it now - is it not first come first served? I wouldn't have thought she could just change her mind if you'd booked it subsequently, but it probably works differently at different companies

I could have gone down this route but didn't (so I am not that spoilt / unreasonable / entitled) I have simply withdrawn my request for XE.

Urm I don't think it's a legal requirement that I work the period no-one else really wants to work because I have been / will be going on maternity leave [to the posters who think it's the "least" I can do]. It's something I offered to do.

OP posts:
Chunderella · 28/11/2014 13:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

randycheeseburger · 28/11/2014 13:24

my dh has never had a Christmas eve off in all the years we have been married and we have 2 children, his place of work now shuts at 10 pm Christmas eve, likely to be there until midnight, shut Christmas day then open boxing day.

saying that tho I used to work in a shop not a food shop just a gift/ crap shop and when they said next year we are opening boxing day I knew then I would not be staying!

i feel for you tho because she has messed you about

kaymondo · 28/11/2014 13:26

You are getting an unnecessarily hard time here OP. People are getting distracted by the Christmas issue which is actually kind of irrelevant. The core of the issue is that you thought you'd have a day off, you made plans, now told you can't have it. I think most people would be pissed off at that.

I think people are projecting their own issues about Christmas working to accuse you of being entitled or unreasonable (for the heinous crime of taking maternity leave over previous Christmases) when it's just not justified on the basis of the OP!

ilovesooty · 28/11/2014 13:28

You aren't exactly being asked to put yourself out too much given that you've hardly done any Christmas working and you'll be off again on January. You're beyond tears and livid because your colleague has discovered that she'll lose her annual leave allowance unless she takes Christmas Eve off? What an overreaction given that you'll probably not be working late and you'll get Christmas day and Boxing day off.

NeedABumChangeNotANameChange · 28/11/2014 13:28

You've been given a months notice it's not as though she told you the day before!

nancy75 · 28/11/2014 13:28

Bloody hell bit of an undeserved pasting for the op here.

Take the fact that it is xmas eve out of the equation for a minute. Your colleague says I don't need to have next Friday off do you want it? you say yes and arrange to do loads of stuff next Friday, suddenly colleague wants to take next Friday off and you have to cancel your plans - nobody would be a bit annoyed by that?

noseymcposey · 28/11/2014 13:29

Well, I think your colleague is completely out of order!

You offered her xmas eve off, she said no. You made plans and now she's changed her mind? Nope, too late.

I think you should have said, 'oh no, I'm really sorry, but I've made plans now' or words to that effect.

Hope you get nice early finish on the day OP.

Fallingovercliffs · 28/11/2014 13:30

The OP has clarified that her colleague doesn't have to take Christmas Eve specifically to use up the day. She can take any day between now and year end. Given that the OP had already been given the day and made plans I think the colleague should have just sucked it up, realised it was her mistake, and just taken some other day in December.

The OP had no problem working Christmas Eve and actually offered to do it. Her problem is that she has been mucked around.

DazzleU · 28/11/2014 13:31

I get why your a bit miffed.

You have a plan - to work - so everything else is fitted round that then someone comes along makes huge fuss about doing you a favour - you say thank you rearrange other arrangements then bam favour is rescinded.

You then have to rearrange everything again - and probably can't complain in RL because she was doing you a favour and you'd look ungracious.

I don't think there is anything you can actually do about it all - but yes her favour did mess you around even if she meant it kindly.

Though livid does seem a bit OTT - YANBU.

TheRealMaryMillington · 28/11/2014 14:13

"slightly disappointed" and "a wee bit irritated" would be perfectly reasonable: I'm guessing "livid" is the hormones talking.

Does your friend know how you feel OP - it may be that its no biggie to her and she could tack her leave day on to the end.

…but, but, but you did offer….

Original poster
Mammanat222 · 28/11/2014 14:24

I concur that livid is a bit of a overreaction, I posted here as opposed to throwing a hissy fit in the office Shock

I wasn't sure if I was still being oversensitive or not when I thought some posters were being a bit mean?

I am big girl and can look after myself but no-one likes to be called names! I appreciate the support from those that see it's just a combination of me being pissed off and hormones as opposed to me actually thinking the world revolves about me.

OP posts:
Yoruba · 28/11/2014 14:27

Yanbu op and I don't know why everyone's jumping all over you.

My sympathies, it's crap when you're looking forward to something and then it gets cancelled. But it's only one year and you'll have a lovely break before :) could you plan something lovely to do in the evenings?

LineRunner · 28/11/2014 14:33

Buy her out, if you really want the day off.

If she's only taking XE off otherwise she loses a day's paid leave, offer her a day's pay to go in. Or at least a decent wedge.

I bet then you'll find she has another reason!

crumblebumblebee · 28/11/2014 14:46

I can see your point but I'd let it go if I were you, not worth jeopardising a work friendship for. Not saying you would, of course!

I do think

schokolade · 28/11/2014 15:17

Why does the colleague's "need" trump the OPs? Even if she were to lose a day (which OP has clarified she wouldn't necessarily), she should honour the agreement.

What if the OP just laughed and said "no sorry, we agreed on me being off xmas eve, I can't work it now".

Everyone saying it's "just one day". Yes, just one day for the colleague too.

DidoTheDodo · 28/11/2014 15:26

Probably because the OP has just finished one lot of ML and is off on another shortly. Of course she is entitled to it, but ML can put a lot of stress and extra work on remaining colleagues so the "one day" might be very much needed by the colleague. And I would have hoped that anyone who is likely not to be working four out of five Christmases might appreciate that.

Not forgetting that annual leave accrues when you're on ML so OP will be getting her fair share on "one days" in the near future.

Bogeyface · 28/11/2014 15:51

Its got nothing to do with Xmas or the job concerned, or how much ML the OP has had.

Its everything to do with not mucking people about. The colleague offered this day, the OP took it and made plans and now the colleague has done an about face without seeming to be bothered that the OP has now to cancel everything. You just dont do that to people, especially as she had made such a song and dance about the OP having that day. The colleague should have checked the rules on taking days off before she offered it, that she will lose a day is not the OPs fault or her problem.

Some of the comments on here have been shockingly nasty.