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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be livid about this?? (Xmas working hours related)

98 replies

Mammanat222 · 28/11/2014 11:41

In-fact I am beyond livid, I am in tears.

OK so I agreed early on to work the festive period [we are a software co. but we don't close down completely so need skeleton staff]. I was off 2012 and 2013 on maternity leave so even though I am the only one with children I felt it only fair to volunteer. I had no issues at all with this.

Colleague advised me a few weeks back that she doesn't need to take Xmas Eve and she made quite a big deal of offering it to me. I was thrilled though, means I get a nice 5 day break and means I can see family on Xmas Eve I would have otherwise missed and I can attend a friends little one's Birthday party.

Today colleague advises that actually she has taken Christmas Eve after all. Not entirely her fault as the way the holidays work at our stupid co. means she has to take X amount of time this year as she can only carry over a certain amount of days.

I am so fucking annoyed though. I have made plans based on having that extra day off.

I guess I know deep down I am BU. Not to drip feed but I go on maternity leave from 6th Jan and my DS is only little but I am still annoyed - I adore Christmas and love to see as many family and friends as I can.

I think what annoys me most is how blasé colleague has been about it all. It's not fair to mess people around at this time of year???

OP posts:

TheRealMaryMillington · 28/11/2014 18:58

Have you never thought you could help someone out with something smallish, and you were pleased to do it, and then because of circumstances beyond your control - had to say actually, sorry, not going to work….?

The colleague doesn't need a savaging, any more than the OP does.

greenfolder · 28/11/2014 19:03

OP this is either a wind up, or you are unintentionally hilarious.

i work in bog standard office- working christmas eve is not working over christmas.

being off xmas 2012.2013 and no doubt 2015 abd actually, lets have a think- 2014 apart from xmas eve.

pull yourself together luv

YouAreBoring · 28/11/2014 19:20

YANBU. Your friend messed was inconsiderate and messed you about.

I'd be pissed off too. Did you say anything to her when she told you?

YouAreBoring · 28/11/2014 19:20

Sorry for typos

Kiffykaffycoffee · 28/11/2014 19:27

Your colleague messed you around, but tbh working Christmas Eve is a bit of a doddle, you might get to go home early anyway

WD41 · 28/11/2014 20:18

You're in tears? Are you joking?

You haven't worked the past 2 Christmases, you're on maternity leave in the new year, presumably you have Xmas day off and it's just Xmas eve you will be working

Have you asked Santa to bring you a grip

mysteryfairy · 28/11/2014 20:42

I think you are perfectly entitled to be annoyed. I don't think I would have withdrawn my leave request. There are plenty of other working days between now and Xmas for colleague to take.

I always work on Xmas eve as we generally get sent home by noonish so not worth spending a day's leave on. Any hope same will happen for you?

mum9876 · 28/11/2014 20:45

Well done you for coming back op!

I think to put it in perspective, think of all those care workers, caterers etc etc who will be not only working Christmas eve but Christmas day and Boxing day and New Years Day. I've done it and yes it was rubbish. Felt like I had no Christmas at all.

You're really lucky to have the bank holidays off, a lot of people don't.

I would be peed off with mind changing colleague though.

MrsItsNoworNotatAll · 28/11/2014 21:07

I'd be cheesed off with the colleague dozying me about but at least op you've got Christmas Day, Boxing Day and New years day off.

Dunno why some posters feel the need to give you a hard time.

MrsPiggie · 28/11/2014 21:13

But does your colleague even know that you made plans for the day? I mean, Christmas Eve is not that special, it's still almost a month away and you were previously expected to work, for all she knows it makes little difference to you if you have to work or not?

Only1scoop · 28/11/2014 21:13

Yabu wow just wow....

Sounds as if colleague had to take her leave it lose it.

You have of Xmas day Boxing Day and new year

You originally made me think you were working all over Christmas when actually you are barely doing anything and off then on maternity again....

Blimey

MrsHathaway · 28/11/2014 21:16

One Christmas Eve I was just polishing something off after the boss had sent everyone home (2pm after a long boozy lunch) when we suddenly had a panic-panic e-mail from a foreign client for something that needed doing without fail that day. The two of us were headless chickens and I nearly missed the last train home that wouldn't be full of drunk people throwing up and Loving Everyone.

I have a special torture reserved for said client should I ever meet him in a dark alley. It involves tweezers, a glue gun, and a ball gag.

Vycount · 28/11/2014 21:26

I have some sympathy as well, and if you had a proper system for booking leave this wouldn't have happened. Colleague would have booked her leave. Then she'd have released that day for you, and you would have booked it. Meaning that she wasn't able to suddenly change her mind and re-book it, she'd have lost her chance.

Vycount · 28/11/2014 21:28

If it was critical that she took her leave or lost it she wouldn't have released this day in the first place. So I think that's a bit of a red herring. She's just changed her mind.

EustaciaBenson · 28/11/2014 22:09

You are getting some nasty responses on here tonight. It certainly isnt up to you to work a particular day because you were off on maternity leave once before! Your OP sounded to me like you were annoyed with the situation rather than especially with your colleague. You'd made plans now you have had to cancelled them you are entitled to be irritated, whether you are about to go on maternity leave or not. Its not necessarily your colleagues fault but that doesnt mean it doesnt still affect you. And I dont get the bizzare notion that because 12 months ago you were off on maternity leave you should be so damn grateful, its your legal right not something only you has chosen to do to inconvenience everyone else and cause problems!

PrincessTheresaofLiechtenstein · 28/11/2014 22:25

Maternity leave is irrelevant, as when someone is on ML the job should be covered properly by someone else. So no need to get at the OP about "doing her fair share"

ThePinkOcelot · 28/11/2014 22:53

So all of those saying Op should get a grip,wouldnt be disappointed if the same happened to you?!

I don't blame you for being upset Op. Hopefully, you'll get away a bit earlier. I'm certainly hoping I will.x

youareallbonkers · 28/11/2014 23:43

Why didn't you book the holiday when she said she would work it? Then she couldn't have taken it?

anothernumberone · 29/11/2014 01:02

YANBU OP there are some very harsh posts here. I do not see what the maternity leave has to do with anything it is not a crime to have children and it should not put more expectation on someone compared to other workers.

BlinkAndMiss · 29/11/2014 01:39

Yep, I'd be livid too. I'm not sure what you can do about it but YANBU to be upset, colleague's fault or not.

And WTF is with the comments about it being the 'least' you can do after being off on maternity leave and going off again? Women have a right to maternity leave and shouldn't have to make up for it!

gincamparidryvermouth · 29/11/2014 01:50

I posted here as opposed to throwing a hissy fit in the office

You definitely should have "thrown a hissy fit" in the office IMO. Definitely.

Christina22xx · 29/11/2014 02:02

Yep that is annoying, in fact happened to me recently.
A colleague said to me i could take her pre booked holiday space then changed her mind
I already brought the £1600 ticket to fly and if cancelled i would of lost it.
So i quit and had a nice holiday then cane back and found a better job 2 weeks later
Not saying you should do that tho lol

SorchaN · 29/11/2014 02:49

Maternity leave isn't a privilege, it's a right. If someone hasn't worked the last two Christmas periods because they were on maternity leave, SO WHAT? It's their RIGHT to be on leave.

Although, at the same time, the colleague has a right to take all their annual leave. It's a shame that an offer was made and then withdrawn, but sometimes shit happens. It's also unfortunate that employers sometimes make it difficult for employees to take all their leave, so that these kinds of situations arise.

I don't think the OP is being unreasonable, but then I don't think the colleague is being unreasonable either. It's a shame, but I don't think there's a 'bad guy' here.

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