To be livid about this?? (Xmas working hours related)

[Mammanat222]

In-fact I am beyond livid, I am in tears.

OK so I agreed early on to work the festive period [we are a software co. but we don't close down completely so need skeleton staff]. I was off 2012 and 2013 on maternity leave so even though I am the only one with children I felt it only fair to volunteer. I had no issues at all with this.

Colleague advised me a few weeks back that she doesn't need to take Xmas Eve and she made quite a big deal of offering it to me. I was thrilled though, means I get a nice 5 day break and means I can see family on Xmas Eve I would have otherwise missed and I can attend a friends little one's Birthday party.

Today colleague advises that actually she has taken Christmas Eve after all. Not entirely her fault as the way the holidays work at our stupid co. means she has to take X amount of time this year as she can only carry over a certain amount of days.

I am so fucking annoyed though. I have made plans based on having that extra day off.

I guess I know deep down I am BU. Not to drip feed but I go on maternity leave from 6th Jan and my DS is only little but I am still annoyed - I adore Christmas and love to see as many family and friends as I can.

I think what annoys me most is how blasé colleague has been about it all. It's not fair to mess people around at this time of year???

Yanbu to be annoyed, but she might have had a good reason to take Christmas eve. However, she shouldn't have offered it to you if she didn't intend to stick to the arrangement. If you didn't have the day formally booked off there isn't a lot you can do about it. I think that you could see people while you are on mat. leave, and maybe this was her train of thought.

Perhaps you could ask her to find out if anyone else could cover for you on Christmas eve, I think this is the least she could do to try and make it up to you. Just don't trust her in future.

Off in 2012 AND 2013 on ML, and about to go back on ML on 6 jan... If say it's time you did your share of Christmas working!

YANBU. She offered it to you and then took it away. Next time get an official leave request in as soon as the offer is made...

If I were you I would take mat leave from 23rd December.

And she was prepared to whois. It's just that she was messed around!

"I AM HEAVILY PREGNANT. I thought I would have to work on day x, until colleague said she'd cover it, so I made plans. Then colleague changed her mind, so my plans are up the Swanee. AIBU to be upset?"

OP, YANBU to be upset (particularly given pgy hormones), but your colleague hasn't really done anything wrong.

I don't think it's unreasonable for the OP to be disappointed. The colleague made an offer in good faith, which she has had to rescind.

If I were the colleague I'd do the same because there's no choice. But I would be apologetic and appreciate that I'd be disappointing the OP.

I don't see the need for such vitriol against her. AIBU or not.

Just the one ML but that happened to fall over 2 Christmases.

Just annoyed to be messed around and now in turn having to mess other people around after making plans.

Gosh you're getting a hard time OP!

I can see that it would be incredibly annoying to think you would get Christmas Eve off and then make plans, only for this to be taken away again. Particularly annoying when it's a friend who has done it who appears to realise the effect on you.

However - not much you can do :-/ hope you can see your family in January.

Yanbu to feel a bit upset and disappointed that you now have to cancel plans but yabu to blame your friend. It doesn't sound like she wanted to take Xmas eve away from you, more that she had to? Not nice to be let down and have to cancel plans though. Can you stary mat leave earlier?

You've had your fair share of Xmas off and about to go on ML again so suck it up. Your annoyance at your colleague is a bit dramatic. Yes your plans are going to have to change but you're going to be off soon so give others a chance.

YANBU to be very annoyed at your colleague for changing her mind. I hate it when people do this. Can you say I thought we'd agreed and I've made plans and I'm afraid I can't change them now and see what she has to say.

Its just Xmas eve you have to work?

(what hours?)

Yanbu to feel aggrieved at being mucked around but it sounds like she hadn't thought it through and now has no choice.

I think yanbu and don't understand the negative responses. Op was told in no uncertain terms she could have day off. Now she is told, having made plans, that she can't. That is annoying. Colleague nit even apologetic for messing her about.

Take kids and Xmas out of equation and it is the same.

Some people on mn seem to take a real glee in telling parents they need to work Xmas. It's not be all and end all but it does make a difference.

I had a dc in hospital on her first Xmas so I really appreciate thoas essential workers who do work. But no reason for having a go at this op.

But Vivienne the colleague didn't change her mind. She has been told she will lose a day of her leave allowance if she doesn't take it on Christmas Eve so has no choice but to take that day off.

Your posts are a bit unclear:

Are you working Christmas Day/Boxing Day/all the rest of christmas?
If so, then yanbu to be disappointed if you are also working Xmas Eve unexpectedly, though as you point out its not entirely your friend's fault that she had to take her leave if she'd otherwise lose it.

If you have Xmas Day/Boxing day off then you are being a right whinger!

She should have thought about that before she made the agreement. I do sympathise with the OP as the colleague is in the wrong. She agreed and should honour the agreement.

I can see your point. She could have said it ages ago and not messed you around, particularly given you're covering the other days.

If she's entitled to it, however much you love Christmas is irrelevent really though.

Annoying but one of those things.

I used to hate having to work over Christmas myself. So much so I changed jobs.

YABU and overreacting. It's one day.

That's all there is to say.

YANBU to be a fucking annoyed.

YWBU to do anything about it, though (apart from venting, which is fine!)

Sorry, rogue "a" in there.

I don't see how colleague is in the wrong and being inconsiderate. She offered it in good faith then found out she'd lose the days leave if she worked it.

But the colleague needs to take it. She has to use up her days. It's mildly disorganized of her to have only realized this late on, but it's not something she's done out of meanness.

I'd be quite fed up too, but on the inside, not to the colleague.

Colleague needed to take an extra day this year, didn't have to be Xmas Eve (although I understand the logic as she is off the rest of festive period)

I am off Xmas Day and Boxing day and NY day.

Annoyance is not in that I have to work, it's in the fact I was told I'd have an additional day, I made plans based on this and it's all been changed on me again.

In the grand scheme of things no it's not a big deal, I did say in my opening post that I realise I am BU, I guess I just needed a little friendly actually rude and quite bitchy slating on MN to gain some perspective