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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Leaving a 3yr old for a night out...

76 replies

McBear · 25/10/2014 18:55

Ok help me out.

I have a chance to go out and have a well needed night out with DP to reinvigorate our relationship/just have fun.

We are an hour from home in DPs home town. dD is with his mum. She loves his mum.

We've had an offer to stay at a friends house so I can drink (I never do and it would be great to be able to)

BUT...

I just can't shake the idea that I am being unreasonable in putting a night out above my daughter. She rarely sleeps the night and always wants cuddles. She is happy and safe with her DGma but I can't help feeling guilty. Does it make me a bad parent to do this? This will be my first night away from her.

OP posts:

Original poster

McBear · 25/10/2014 18:56

His mum obv lives in his home town. We will be approx ten/twenty mins drive away. 5 miles max.

OP posts:

ArabellaTarantella · 25/10/2014 18:58

Really? Really? Just enjoy yourself - she is safe and happy with Grandma. What's to feel guilty, or make you a bad parent, about this? You will both survive, I promise you.

DearGirl · 25/10/2014 18:59

I never understand posts like these - I am a nanny - the child is asleep it doesn't matter where you are, and if she wakes she will have her grandma .

ThePinkOcelot · 25/10/2014 18:59

Of course you aren't. It's not as if you are leaving her by herself. Go out and enjoy yourself!!

Tory79 · 25/10/2014 18:59

Good lord, do it and don't give it a second thought! I've not had loads of time away from my 3 year old but I'm not ashamed to admit I've loved it when it happens!

NK5BM3 · 25/10/2014 19:00

Go for it!!! She'll be thrilled about a big girl night with granny. Make it fun for her, so pack her favourite pj, books, teddy. Get her a treat (hot choc before bed...). And if she doesn't fall asleep on time, or later... Whatever, just let it happen. If you trust granny, and she loves granny, then that's fine. Enjoy!

MamaMed · 25/10/2014 19:00

For me, it would depend on her relationship with the grandma in question. My DD is close to one grandma of hers and not the other, as we don't see them regularly. I wouldn't leave her with the one she isn't familiar with.

Thewrongmans · 25/10/2014 19:01

First night out in over 3 years? Wow. No wonder you need to reinvigorate your relationship. You don't have to stop being you when you become a parent. Stop being such a martyr.

Showy · 25/10/2014 19:03

Nope not a bad mum at all. As long as the cuddles are provided by grandma and dd is happy to receive them. My 3yo ds can't be left overnight so goes to grandma's with his big sister, stays for dinner and bath and I pick him up at bedtime and leave dd to sleep over. If he wanted to stay I'd happily leave him.

MrsCumbersnatch · 25/10/2014 19:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

53Dragon · 25/10/2014 19:09

I'd worry more that you're over protective - mine stayed with grandma & grandad almost as soon as they finished breast feeding - about 9 months. Everyone loved it

Bambambini · 25/10/2014 19:11

Why am I always tempted to say - "Yes, you are a bad parent - don't leave her" to these kind of threads.

WutheringTights · 25/10/2014 19:12

We left DS overnight for the first time at around 16 months, we left him for the weekend, so two nights. He barely noticed we were gone and had a brilliant time. His grandparents had a brilliant time too! She'll be fine.

MrsKCastle · 25/10/2014 19:14

YAB a bit U to be worrying so much! (But understand able if you haven't left her before). It's fine. She'll be fine. You deserve a night off after so long and sleepovers with grandparents are a great way of building strong bonds. I have lovely memories of staying with grandparents when I was young, it was always an adventure and a chance to be a little bit spoiled for a night.

Gileswithachainsaw · 25/10/2014 19:14

Oh fgs Go. She will be fine. They will cope. No need to martyr yourself till they are teens.

Does kids good to be away from parents. Never know nanny might get her to sleep.

hollie84 · 25/10/2014 19:16

I can't believe you would even consider leaving a 3 year old, you will scar her for life! Make sure you never have another child and have to leave her to give birth.

WobbilyFang · 25/10/2014 19:17

I think a night here and there with a grandparent as a toddler is a good way of getting used to sleepovers/babysitters. So by the time she is 6 or 7 she will be big enough to stay at a friend's house and by 9 big enough to go on brownie camp or whatever.

cheerupandhaveaglassofwine · 25/10/2014 19:20

Go for it and enjoy your night out, we had both of ours at grandparents from a week old for an odd night here and there so they were used to staying over

Mumraathenoisylion · 25/10/2014 19:22

Do it!!!!! We go out for a night (or more) and leave our two with Dnanna, they've even stayed a few days while we go on holiday. They are very close now and it's lovely.

PoppyFleur · 25/10/2014 19:23

Go out and enjoy yourself!

Your dd will be fine with granny & will absolutely have a blast I can guarantee it. Please think of it this way, a relationship with a grandparent is a really special thing, by going out and leaving granny to build that bond with dd you are facilitating a very special relationship.

vestandknickers · 25/10/2014 19:23

You need to be a wife as well as a mother.

Go out, let your hair down and have a proper giggle with your DP.

Your DD will have a lovely time with her Grandma.

Sallygoroundthemoon · 25/10/2014 19:24

I think you are being a bit precious. She is 3 not 3 weeks. I am not surprised your relationship needs reinvigorating if you are so child centric. I am sorry to sound harsh, just don't want you to think going out is an issue - Go and have a lovely time.

TheABC · 25/10/2014 19:26

Go, go, go! I went away for the night celebrate DH's birthday last month. DS is 15 months, stayed at my parents and had a brilliant time. Only downside was that he tried to breastfeed from Dgrandma boobs in the night ( they were co sleeping). She said it was a bit of a shock! Milk was quickly offered instead!

Original poster

McBear · 25/10/2014 19:28

I'm being very precious. I know it's over the top. I don't understand why I feel this way and I know that I can't and won't do this forever but I'm not sure what the point of it being ok will be. If I keep going like this it will be 30.

She's been with her grandma all day. I didn't tell her first hand she may be staying.

OP posts:

vestandknickers · 25/10/2014 19:29

OP is not being precious. That's a bit mean.

She sounds like a lovely Mum who needs a bit of a boot up the bum to get out and get drinking! .

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