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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Annoying things you can't properly respond to

103 replies

KnackeredMuchly · 04/09/2014 11:57

People who say "Oh you must be so lucky living so close to your family!"

The only real response to that is "Yes I know!" Because saying "Why? So I can live 5 minutes away from people who do fuck all as opposed to 2 hours away from people who do fuck all?"

/bitter

Anyone else get people saying things that are a bit innocuous but mean you have to bite your tongue?

When I was depressed, the question "How are you?" was the worst, because the only answer I wanted to give was "So miserable I want to die". But of course, I was always "Fine"

I think I need chocolate today!!!!!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
KnackeredMuchly · 04/09/2014 11:58

Ah fuck it, I've put this in IABU and now I will get flamed and I am NOT IN THE MOOD

OP posts:
amyhamster · 04/09/2014 12:00

People who say 'you're looking very well today ' - do you mean to imply I looked like shit yesterday Grin

People who say when you're food is brought to you on a night out ' wow that's massive' & make you feel a fat bitch for eating it all

CeliaFate · 04/09/2014 12:01

"You have more money than sense!" just because I don't buy cheap tat. We save up to buy nice things, I'd rather have one lovely thing than 100s of cheaper items that don't last as long or look as good.

ladymalfoy · 04/09/2014 12:02

My SIL.

MTBMummy · 04/09/2014 12:04

"You've lost a lot of weight" - so I was a fat bint?

Original poster
KnackeredMuchly · 04/09/2014 12:04

Ooh, the more money than sense is one that drives me bonkers. It's basically saying "You're an idiot" and for some reason it's acceptable to say? Hmm

OP posts:
CrohnicallyPissedOff · 04/09/2014 12:04

YANBU. I go back to work tomorrow (school). Everyone's going to be asking 'how was your holiday?'. I really want to say 'actually, my holiday abroad was cancelled, my house move seems to be going tits up, one relative died and another has cancer, and the stress of it all has meant I've relapsed into depression.'.

But I'll probably manage to choke out 'fine, thanks, how was yours?' and run to the toilets to cry.

farewellfigure · 04/09/2014 12:06

YES YES amyhamster. My Dsis said 'OHMYGOD look at the size of THAT!' to me as I was about to tuck into what I thought was a quite averagely sized pizza. I ate one mouthful then felt so upset, fat, and sick I couldn't eat anything else. I was a size 18 at the time, and she was a size 6. I spent the whole meal crying quietly to myself (it was a big family meal on a darkened Greek quayside so nobody noticed). What a waste of a good pizza that was.

I think I was probably a bit hormonal at the time as that sounds like I'm a total lunatic!

farewellfigure · 04/09/2014 12:08

Oh and yes to 'Have you lost weight?'. I had a neighbour who asked me that every time she saw me. I used to think if I had lost weight for each time she asked, I'd be the size of Kate Moss. I mean no-one would ask a thin person if they've lost weight, so obviously she thought I was a total whale (which I am). I absolutely hated bumping into her and would choke out a feeble, 'No, it's just what I'm wearing' before scuttling off.

farewellfigure · 04/09/2014 12:10

Ooh when are you going to have a second baby?

TropicalJuice · 04/09/2014 12:10

"Your mum is coming over to stay with you for 6 weeks! How wonderful. You must be so excited?"
Hmm!

Original poster
KnackeredMuchly · 04/09/2014 12:20

Ha! TropicalJuice - are people saying that sarcastically? Grin

OP posts:
TropicalJuice · 04/09/2014 12:28

Knackered I don't get the feeling it's sarcastic. These people give the impression they have wonderful mother-daughter relationships.
One gave me a hug as she was saying it "oh, I'm just so excited for you!"

Pointlessfan · 04/09/2014 12:30

I get irrationally irritated by people asking me if my baby is "good". Of course she is, she is a tiny baby, she doesn't have the mental capacity to be naughty. I think they mean "does she cry?" Yes, all babies cry but not as a deliberate tactic to wind us up.
I'm usually asked this by fairly elderly ladies and don't have the heart to be rude to them so I always end up just saying that she is good and leave it at that.

DiaDuit · 04/09/2014 12:34

'OHMYGOD look at the size of THAT

When i hear this my inner response is "challenge accepted" and i take great pleasure in putting a look of disgust on their face as i wipe the last bit of food off my plate with my bread Grin

velocity1 · 04/09/2014 12:37

People who tell me to cheer up! I'm perfectly happy most of the time,I just don't go around with a grin plastered on my face

allypally999 · 04/09/2014 12:42

I get "cheer up it might never happen" and "what's wrong with your face" ... its been winding me up for 56 years and still not found the perfect response although "someone just died" does shut them up

Not like I can change my face!

deakymom · 04/09/2014 12:45

when are you having another baby? umm never my husband had the snip remember? well you never know it might happen! Hmm

cherrybombxo · 04/09/2014 12:46

velocity and allypally

That's known as "resting bitch face" and I suffer from it too. People (including dp!) are constantly asking me what's wrong, if I'm okay or telling me to cheer up. I'm actually happy as Larry, I just have a face that stops charity collectors and people with surveys in their tracks.

Ludways · 04/09/2014 12:51

I think people who say "have you lost weight?" Just want to be liked, what they're actually saying is "I know you're fat and saying I think you've lost some weight will make you like me". It makes me hate them and avoid them at all costs, it justakrs people around look at you and think "fuck me, exactly how fat were you?"

grimbletart · 04/09/2014 12:55

I'm someone who doesn't seem to feel the cold as much as others and I am always been accosted in my village (happened as usual this morning because it had a short sleeved T shirt on) with "ooh, aren't you cold?"
Err, no. I'd have put a coat on if it was wouldn't I? Doh!

grimbletart · 04/09/2014 12:56

'being' not 'been' Blush

Hurr1cane · 04/09/2014 12:59

Are you having another?

No

Why? You're such a good mum!

I might not be if I have a baby in the house as well so can't sleep in the day as well as having to stay up all night to care for DS.

I just shrug but I really don't know the response to that

allypally999 · 04/09/2014 12:59

lol cherry .. I like that ... "resting bitch face"

JuniDD · 04/09/2014 13:03

People asking me if it felt "magical" when the baby started kicking. It was kicking me in the cervix and bladder and felt fucking disgusting. But you can't say that, can you? Just a bland "yeah, lovely" had to do.