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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think nurseries are people's first choice?

130 replies

Writerwannabe83 · 29/08/2014 21:43

I have a 5 month old DS and today I sorted out his childcare for when I return to work. We have registered him with a childminder and for some reason I didn't even contemplate using a nursery.

However, it feels like in many MN threads (in differing topic sections) most children that are talked about are in nurseries as opposed to having a childminder.

Is nursery more 'the norm' now and am I depriving my DS of something by using a CM instead? There must be a reason why nurseries seem to be the preferred option for parents?

OP posts:
HoldenMcGroin · 29/08/2014 21:46

All depends on the provision in your area

You can't really extrapolate from MN into RL

nethunsreject · 29/08/2014 21:47

I chose a childminder. I guess it depends what is available locally. I have a lovely neighbour who is a cm and have seen her with her charges over the years so I felt very confident the dc would have a great time and they did.
Hope all goes well with your return to work Smile

justabigdisco · 29/08/2014 21:48

We looked at both nurseries and CMs when I went back to work after DC1. Everyone I know who had used both, said go with CM every time - especially for young ones. CM was and is my first choice.

whathaveiforgottentoday · 29/08/2014 21:49

Nope, in real life It seems pretty even between childminders and nurseries and it depends on circumstances.

Moreisnnogedag · 29/08/2014 21:50

I think it does really really depend on where you live. We have had two previous CMs who were absolutely fantastic but we've just moved to a new area which doesn't have a single childminder. Not one!

Plus the (one and only) nursery is attached to the primary school which in turn is attached to the high school. In the end we decided that it's probably best for DS to go to nursery where all of his future classmates will be.

Saying that, for a little one I'd pick childminder every time!

LynetteScavo · 29/08/2014 21:50

I would have rather used a childminder than a nursery for DD, but there just wasn't one in the area I was prepared to leave her with.

She's now 9, and hasn't yet forgiven me for leaving her at the nursery I chose! I think it's easier to find a decent nursery with spaces than a childminder with spaces, as they tend to be fully booked.

Notacs · 29/08/2014 21:51

Pretty even I'd say.

I'd prefer a nursery personally.

echt · 29/08/2014 21:52

It's really down to what's available; we wanted CM for our child because of the homely atmosphere and lower numbers, but were very happy when she turned two and a nursery place was available, but again small scale and only two minutes' walk away.

BarbaraPalmer · 29/08/2014 21:53

i would have been very happy to find a good childminder with spaces. However, both times when I looked, the good ones were full with no spaces on the horizon, and I wasn't keen on the ones with space.

Pico2 · 29/08/2014 21:54

Nursery was our first choice. I wasn't interested in the "home-from-home" thing that seems to be the reason that people choose a CM. I wanted an environment, activities and schedule specifically designed for babies/children and split to a certain extent into age specific groups. I also wanted to know that I wasn't reliant on one person, that they had a management and leadership structure and my child wasn't really alone with one person for periods of time. I didn't really want my DD to be in a house with pets or strangers visiting. Also the CMs I saw at local toddler groups seemed disengaged. I can only think of two people who have used CMs, it isn't the norm in our social circle. Both have swapped to nursery when their CMs have quit.

My DD is really outgoing. Knowing her now, I can't see a CM suiting her as well as her nursery, but she does go to an excellent nursery with an unusually high staff ratio and highly qualified staff compared to others I have seen.

thegreylady · 29/08/2014 21:55

My dd used a cm. She has used the same one for over 7 years. Cm and I share after school pick ups now and used to share childcare. She is amazing.

Timeforabiscuit · 29/08/2014 21:56

I'd be careful with NFM (normal for mumsnet).

Boden is a foreign word round these parts and its very hit and miss with childcare availability - you take what you can get rather than having a true choice.

BrianButterfield · 29/08/2014 21:57

DS is a social sort who likes other kids and has enjoyed nursery, as I knew he would, so it was my first choice. Having read about problems people have with CMs going on holiday or being ill confirms my choice - we have no bookable holiday and taking sick days is a huge hassle so we need reliable childcare.

I know CMs I would totally trust but I live in quite a small community and having seen posters for CMs who I frankly wouldn't trust a dog with has not made me have confidence I'd end up with a good one. At least if a nursery worker is poor, there are other adults around to spot that and deal with it.

2kidsintow · 29/08/2014 21:59

Well, childminder was my first choice. There are plenty of nurseries around here and they had spaces. I chose a childminder because I wanted a home environment. And I wanted childcare that would be consistent instead of moving from particular aged rooms at certain times, leaving behind friends that children have made. That might not happen at every nursery, but it definitely happens around here.

I have used the same childminder for 13 years and love the consistency. The only problem comes when she is ill, but to be fair, that's happened about twice in all that time. My girls love her.

Tigresswoods · 29/08/2014 22:02

In our experience a childminder suited DS when he was a baby & toddler. When he was about 3 he started nursery for a few days. He still went to the childminder on the other days. Now on the cusp of starting school he gets more out of nursery but still enjoys the comfort of going to his childminder.

When he goes to school he won't be at the childminder but only due to location.

Each to their own, neither needs to be mutually exclusive.

erin99 · 29/08/2014 22:02

No you're not depriving him. Lovely for him to have that one to one.

We used nursery because:

  1. 51 weeks a year available with no issues with sickness or holiday
  2. this is purely my paranoia, but if there were a big medical emergency or accident I am happier with there being more adults around.
  3. again my paranoia, a lot of CMs are fab but through soft play I've met a few who chat, swear, and ignore the children. I don't trust my own judgement enough to be completely confident I've chosen a good'un. I could get over it if I needed to use a CM or nanny but as I don't, safety in numbers makes nursery an easier option.

I do think nursery has all sorts of benefits at preschool age but you're years away from that. Nursery is a convenience and paranoia thing, and luckily we found one that only moves them between rooms once, and that's with keyperson and friends going too, so minimal transitions.

batgirl1984 · 29/08/2014 22:07

I was lucky, while I was looking for provision, I saw the lady who is now our childminder out and about and my daughter wouldn't stop smiling at her. When someone mentioned she was a childminder I set up a meeting and now I wouldn't be without her. Someone else looking for childcare at the same time as me didn't want their child to form an intense bond with someone else. I think childminder suits my child and nursery suits theirs. I do wonder if that is because that's all the kids have ever known, but i really didn't feel that nursery was for my DD. Younger DS probably would have been ok in nursery, but he got sent where his sister is!

Gen35 · 29/08/2014 22:08

I was pro nursery at first but after the first year dc1 decided she hated it, she'd have been happier at a child minder I expect but we didn't know any in the area and it's just not something I'd be happy to do without a personal recommendation. So I think it depends a bit on the particular child's needs

Stealthpolarbear · 29/08/2014 22:11

Ds and dd went to a nursery. When we wenr to chabge childcare as ds started school he has a cm for after school. We booked dd into anothet nursery. Dss cm was so lovely we asked if she could take dd as well. Weve changed cms now but have been really happy with both

Showy · 29/08/2014 22:19

Depends on the child, ages, cost, provision etc.

My preferences in order:

Home with me
With family
Childminders
Nursery

MoominKoalaAndMiniMoom · 29/08/2014 22:22

DD (4mo) is starting nursery next month. We picked nursery over CM because it's a variety of carers and children that she'll see, the hours are very flexible, and it's on campus (we aren't taking any time out from uni so she's going in the uni nursery). Plus it's very modern and amazing facilities.

magentastardust · 29/08/2014 22:24

I have used 2 Childminders in the last 10 years (3dc's). They have been brilliant-My dc's go on teddy bears picnics, woodland walks, trips to the beach, farms, local museums as well as do baking , crafts and loads of other activities. They rotate toys , have art freezes and displays of the childrens work on the walls-often themed to fit in with the seasons etc. The children that go there also have a really nice relationship and have bonded together and my Childminders seem to genuinely enjoy my children and looking after them.

dogscatsandbabies · 29/08/2014 22:29

I was really put off CM when a friend said that the youngest of a childminder's charges can just end up stuck in the car seat all day as they're driving about doing multiple school pick ups etc. Never even looked into CM after that as found great nursery. It works for us.

justmyview · 29/08/2014 22:36

I think it depends a lot on the childminder. Some are brilliant. Others not so much. Nurseries perhaps more consistency

LynetteScavo · 29/08/2014 22:36

But then some childminders don't even own a car or do school pick ups!

Childminders are so different, as are nurseries.