To think nurseries are people's first choice?

[Writerwannabe83]

I have a 5 month old DS and today I sorted out his childcare for when I return to work. We have registered him with a childminder and for some reason I didn't even contemplate using a nursery.

However, it feels like in many MN threads (in differing topic sections) most children that are talked about are in nurseries as opposed to having a childminder.

Is nursery more 'the norm' now and am I depriving my DS of something by using a CM instead? There must be a reason why nurseries seem to be the preferred option for parents?

I had colleagues at work who put their dc in nurseries and nearly lost their jobs because of the amount of time off they had to take when their dc were ill with whatever illness was going around that week. I never considered a childminder or nursery after that. I had a live-out nanny, who was really flexible, and could stay late or come in early if I had shift changes or emergencies. She would also come away with us for weekends, and wouldn't charge me if I paid for her huge hairy-- boyfriend to come with us. It was expensive, but still probably worked out cheaper when you factor in that I could ask her to start at 5 am, and she didn't mind as it meant she could leave at 2pm.

Depends if you find a good CM, how many hours you need and if you have family that can bail you out in emergencies. We had brilliant CM for DC1, but when she stopped because pregnant we put DC1 & 2 in nursery. They could accommodate longer hours, 51 weeks a year, and since we have no family nearby never let us down with illness etc. My boss only just accepts me taking unpaid time off to look after ill kids, but it sucks when the CM has flu! Also when on mat leave I saw loads of CM in coffee shops, shopping, looking after their own kids and it pissed me off paying them £50 a day to do that. For DC3 we will review the situation though suspect nursery will win it because I work long hours, as does DH.

Thanks everyone, the varied replies are really interesting. For some reason I always thought Nursery was the more expensive option but if not I may have to look at some of the prices in nurseries local to us.

How much do people on here pay for childcare? Although I assume it varies greatly geographically.

My DH is a teacher so at least we have the knowledge that around the Holiday periods (Christmad etc) he is able to have DH if the childminder can't. He can also have DS during the school holidays when the childminder takes her family holiday. We also thought the CM could be more flexible about days as although rare, sometimes I am asked to work different days one week then I normally would (to cover meetings or sickness etc). I need to really clarify that with them though as I forgot to ask when I saw them the other week.

Locally we have 2 or 3 registered childminders and 3 nurseries. I need childcare 7am - 6pm which none of the childminders were able to provide.

Nursery was our first choice. I only work 2 days and he goes to grandparents on one of those. We wanted him to get used to a childcare setting and being with other children so we chose a nursery. He started at 13 months though. He's very happy there

My one year old's nursery costs £41 a day.

I think a good childminder is better than a good nursery but a bad nursery is better than a bad childminder.

I had a fantastic childminder. She went to playgroups etc so the socialisation element was there. She worked closely with another childminder so on the rare occasions when she couldn't work my DD could go there. She only took holidays in school holidays, I am a teacher so this was perfect. She has older children who my daughter saw as big siblings. She has a big garden, so they could play outside. We only stopped using her because we moved, and recently went to visit her and DD still remembers being happy there.

When I was looking for childcare my DD was 10 months, all the nurseries insisted she would have to go in the room for under 1s for two months and then move up, I cannot see how that is in her best interests.

I had a childminder who within a week of finding out she was pregnant again gave us all a weeks notice to leave. I chose a nursery after that as I can't risk the stress of having to deal with that again

" Add message | Report | Message poster JohnCusacksWife Fri 29-Aug-14 23:34:48
We considered a childminder briefly but discounted it because we didn't want our childcare to be entirely reliant on one person (what happens if they're ill etc)"
Yes that's definitely something to consider. Dh and I both have flexible jobs,, our cm has had quite a lot of sick days but we've been able to manage it. If we both had jobs where we couldn't work from home at short notice, we'd have had to change childcare arrangements by now.

Whiskwarrior I've often thought that! They all sit around looking morose and then when one of the parents turns up she shoves a paintbrush in their hands and hypes them up to say what a LOVELY TIME they're having

YABU. We looked into nurseries and decided it wasn't for us. We went with in (our own) home care instead. Then, when they turned about 3.5, mixed that up with Kindy, 2-3 sessions a week.

I think IRL it's a total mix of what works best for each family's set-up, needs, finances, etc, etc. I don't think there's a prevailing option (is there?); just what's right for each family.

I didn't like the CM's I had when I was a little girl. I remember them as shouty, unhappy people. It's probably influenced my decision a lot! So when I had my own DS, I really didn't feel comfortable using a CM. They would be my absolute last resort. I am aware that this is unfair btw; but it's hard to shake off several bad experiences. I think my mum was just really unlucky in the ones she chose.

Staffordshire ....our outstanding nursery 36 pounds a day ....21.00 half day, all mature staff.... been there years and have gone out of way with flexibility

It depends on so many factors. I pay for childcare two days a week, and family cover the other days if needed, my hours vary a lot due to shifts and uni. I send the younger two to a childminder who I have known for years. They are very happy there. I send my eldest to a nursery as I felt it would meet her needs better, as she has special needs and needs a carer who understands that and has time to work with her. It is much more expensive, she is only there an hour usually and I have to pay for the full session which is £15. And that is a special rate for term time only (luckily I only need term time care).

The childminder charges £3.00 an hour for school age children, so it would cost me £3.00 is she went there.

It is all about finding the right fit for the child though.

If I had to use childcare it would always be a nursery over a childminder.

For me it's the ratio of other adults around so no lone working for the entire day. Staff holidays and sickness covered, no visitors unless an activity booked, children there own age and no being dragged out to meet the school runs of others.

Add to that they are unlikely to have their own children with them, will be concentrating on the children not doing housework or shopping and will have a much larger space and equipment and there's not really many down sides.

Lastly, it's rare for a nursery to give notice whereas a CM may do if a financially better option comes along. Ie somebody wants a full time space so the part timer of two days needs to go to make room.

It's personal choice though, everybody see it's differently. It's what you feel comfortable with. I knew from walking into the after school setting care club that it was fab and DS would be happy there.

I have a childminder and preschool nursery hat on- have two childcare settings. What's the difference?

At both settings the quality of care, attention, food, opening hours, resources et al is identical. The differences are size - one having more kids than the other, and the fact one is in a residence and one is in a commercial setting (which is itself made to be very homely).

Preschool setting only closes 1 week a year, childminder setting used to close 4 weeks a year (tons of notice given to parents), now I have another childminder who works with me, so that setting also only closes 1 week a year too.

Sickness - I've rarely been sick but yes, this is something that you need to think about if using a childminder - having a plan B who you can call on last minute should you get that call that the setting is closed that day. Having another childminder working alongside of course takes away the sickness issue.

Always remember... There are good and bad childminders and nurseries.. And not even necessarily bad ones... Just ones that don't offer what you specifically need as a family eg my settings close at 6... Some parents need till 7... So they won't use me. Not due to any other reason but I do not provide what they need.

Always do your homework - visit childminders and nurseries (some nurseries are very small... The same size as a childminder with assistants setting, plus many are based in a house too if that's your reference). Visit Good and Outstanding settings - oftentimes a Good setting has narrowly missed an Outstanding grading due to a tiny thing eg a form not signed.

Ask tons of questions! Go with your gut feel. You're leaving your child with the person you're visiting... How will your child enjoy being there? Will they be loved and feel secure? Will their nutritional needs be met? Will they be safe? Will they have lots of opportunities to have fun and learning through play? See what the ethos is of the setting - this varies greatly.

We chose nursery over childminder for a few different reasons, the main one was wanting DD to be in a larger social group where the activities would likely be a bit more varied and structured. Availability and location of decent childminders was another reason, plus the advantages of not having to worry about the childminder's holidays or them being unwell. DD loves nursery but I don't think one is necessarily better than the other, it just depends what suits you and your DC best

The sickness thing: every CM I know has quite a network of other CM's they can call upon to cover for them if there's an emergency.
However, being SE you tend to find we are very rarely off! I've not had a day's sickness in over 7 years. ( I think I must be immune to every bug going by now!)

Lastly, it's rare for a nursery to give notice whereas a CM may do if a financially better option comes along. Ie somebody wants a full time space so the part timer of two days needs to go to make room.
I've never known a cm DO THIS. I WAS HOWEVER READING A THREAD A WEEK OR SO AGO BY A WOMAN IN A PANIC AS THEY TURNED UP AT NURSERY IN THE MORNING TO FIND A NOTE ON THE DOOR SAYING THEY HAD SHUT DOWN!!

oops. sorry about the caps.

I didn't like the CM's I had when I was a little girl. I remember them as shouty, unhappy people. It's probably influenced my decision a lot! So when I had my own DS, I really didn't feel comfortable using a CM. They would be my absolute last resort. I am aware that this is unfair btw; but it's hard to shake off several bad experiences. I think my mum was just really unlucky in the ones she chose.

This is the same reason I didn't choose a childminder for DS - I had some very unhappy experiences at childminders as a child.

I had some very shouty miserable teachers as a child. Doesn't make me think all teachers are like that and not send my child to school.
Most CM's do the job because they enjoy it. It's a very hard, time consuming job which can take over your personal life as well as your home.
The ones who don't enjoy the company of children tend to drop out of it quite quickly.
It really isn't worth your home being taken over if you don't like it and it stresses you out to the point of being shouty and miserable.

I think it depends on what options you have open to you.

We went with a nursery and have been happy with it. Dd was 16 months when she went. I might have felt differently had she been smaller. However we preferred that the nursery had more members of staff about and was more reliable ie if one member if staff was ill then cover would be arranged. Staff turnover hasn't been high and dd still sees her earlier key worker from the younger room.

In part when on mat leave I also saw a lot of childminders gossiping constantly when at baby/toddler groups and largely ignoring their charges which put me off. I know not all are like that but nevertheless I wasn't keen.

However when dc2 arrives and I go back to work I think we'll probably get a nanny as it will give us more flexibility and both DCs can stay at home, nanny can go pick ups from school etc. It really is down to personal circumstance.

Everyone's choices are different depending on where they live. I visited all my local options. In the end I choose a nursery that has now been open for 31 years and some of the staff have been there all that time. It was a very small nursery with very low staff turnover, never used agency staff ( had it's own bank staff) and was out in the countryside with a massive garden. The ethics and morals that the nursery had were very similar to mine. It was an old house so very homely.
My DD made friends for life there her two closest friends both started with her full time at less than 6 months. Their friendship is still very strong despite now being 10 years old and at different schools.
We still see DD's key worker from when she was first there who remembers all her children and asks after them.

I was lucky I found a nursery that had a large number of the features of a childminder so it isn't a straight line between childminder and nursery, some childminders have assistants and may actually have more children than were in DD's nursery group.
Horses for courses we all make the best decisions for our family based on the options. We have available to us.

DD's nursery is £185 per week. We get childcare grant from student finance as we're both students, which pays 85% of that. I'm too tired to work out what we actually pay

I want an environment that is friendly and loving, but (I know this sounds selfish) don't want her attaching to one other person. I like the idea that there are several people there, and it's one staff member to two children if I remember correctly. I think if I'd gone in there and they'd been offish and seemed unfriendly, I'd have turned straight around again, but they were wonderful, and I liked that in the information pack, in the baby room they've stated that cuddles are a big part of the day, and if the babies need rocking or singing to sleep, they do it. It feels very personal and nice :)

I would have preferred a nanny but as that was out of the question for financial reasons we've gone for a nursery. A CM would be my last choice but I think if I could have found one who was flexible and whom I really, really liked then I would maybe have gone for one. Our nursery does term time only and is much cheaper than any local CMs too.