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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that when you say 5pm

90 replies

JosieMcDozie · 09/07/2014 17:41

You mean 5pm?? In laws have my eldest, dh is away and specifically asked them to fetch him home at 5pm - it's now 5.40pm and no sign. Aibu to be pissed off??

OP posts:
ItHasANiceRingWhenYouLaugh · 09/07/2014 18:32

Call.

NorwaySpruce · 09/07/2014 18:34

How far away are they?

Perhaps they are stuck in traffic, missed a train, only realised the time at 5pm?

If your child is with family, I wouldn't worry, unless you have to be somewhere else, obviously.

Original poster
JosieMcDozie · 09/07/2014 18:35

They turned up at 6.00pm shouted at me to shut my mouth, told me I was never on time (in front of my children) and then fil threw the car seat across the front lawn whilst my mil was asking why I can't be civil.

No contact, population 2

(Am actually bloody shaken about whole thing and dh away tonight)

OP posts:
Lilaclily · 09/07/2014 18:36
Shock

But why did they have to be back at 5pm?
Did you have a go at them for being late ?

NorwaySpruce · 09/07/2014 18:37

Oh.

Well those are not quite the doting, indulgent, grandparents I had in mind when I replied. Shock

It's a wonder you allow your child to spend time with them at all.

hmmmwhatnow · 09/07/2014 18:38

And your part in the above conversation?

QOD · 09/07/2014 18:38

We need more information. What did you say ? How old is ds?

Lilaclily · 09/07/2014 18:38

If they were doing you a favour child care wise you were wrong to chastise them

But they massively overeacted :-(

Original poster
JosieMcDozie · 09/07/2014 18:39

We asked them to fetch h back so we had time for a bit of a wind down before bath at 545 and bed at 630 as he's been waking up early so is knackered.

OP posts:
Original poster
JosieMcDozie · 09/07/2014 18:41

They weren't doing me a favour!! It was for their benefit!

OP posts:
miffybun73 · 09/07/2014 18:41

How old is DS? Did you shout at them first? Are they usually aggressive ?

glenthebattleostrich · 09/07/2014 18:41

Wow, if they were my in laws that would be the last they saw of me and my children.

Hope you and the kids are OK

Jellybelly18 · 09/07/2014 18:42

I think 5pm means 5pm. It's inconsiderate to the waiting person to be that late with no contact. As a child I remember waiting for my dad to come home, he was late because he had been in a car crash. So I would worry if people are later than 20 min without a text, besides isn't just polite to let people know?

BackforGood · 09/07/2014 18:43
Shock

I presume there's a massive amount of back story.
If that's the way they treat you / speak to you, why exactly would you want your dc spending time there ? (and I'm not normally one to criticise 'in-laws' - I'm normally the one shouting up in their defence)

IDontDoIroning · 09/07/2014 18:43

Yanbu. They were an hour late and didn't call you so it's natural you would start to worry. Then they were rude when they did turn up.
Do they have mobile phones??
I suppose it is possible they were stressed if they got stuck in traffic and dc was wingeing, but there's no excuse to shout at you or throw the car seat.

Ragwort · 09/07/2014 18:43

You all sound totally unreasonable - surely they don't have to arrive at 5pm on the dot, why does he need 'wind down time', can't he go straight in the bed.

Learn to chill out Grin

ItHasANiceRingWhenYouLaugh · 09/07/2014 18:45

Were you civil?

Original poster
JosieMcDozie · 09/07/2014 18:45

I asked them if dh had mentioned bringing ds back earlier to see if it was a matter of miscommunication. It wasn't. Ds is 4. They are a dr and teacher.

OP posts:
BreeVDKamp · 09/07/2014 18:47

I'd be pissed off if someone was that late meeting me for lunch, let alone returning my child!!! YANBU

Original poster
JosieMcDozie · 09/07/2014 18:51

Ragwort 20 mins I can live with - an hour with the courtesy of a phone call too. It seems just so inconsiderate and a two fingers of, you asked us to bring him back at 5 so we're going to ring him back at 6 just to show you who's in charge here.

It, I was very polite. I thought it may have been miscommunication.....clearly not.

OP posts:
Original poster
JosieMcDozie · 09/07/2014 18:52

They're 10 minutes away. I think it's a power trip thing.....

Bloody awful situation to be in.

OP posts:
KissMyFatArse · 09/07/2014 18:54

Whether folk think op wanting them back at 5 for whatever reason is acceptable or not? That's what they requested so that's what should have happened!!!

I'd have been furious if they'd turned up that late without even a text to explain.

TippiShagpile · 09/07/2014 18:55

It certainly sounds like a power trip thing OP.

IMHO it matters not a jot why you say 5pm. If you say 5pm it's 5pm unless there's a very good reason (traffic).

NewJobNewLife · 09/07/2014 18:56

It all sounds like a horrible situation, particularly without DH to deal with his parents.

You said your FIL threw the car seat across the front lawn. I know it's not the point of the thread, but you should really look at replacing it ASAP as it may well have been damaged if it was thrown.

Original poster
JosieMcDozie · 09/07/2014 19:15

Thanks New - didn't think of that x

OP posts: