To think that when you say 5pm

[JosieMcDozie]

You mean 5pm?? In laws have my eldest, dh is away and specifically asked them to fetch him home at 5pm - it's now 5.40pm and no sign. Aibu to be pissed off??

Mil wasnt asking you why couldn't you be civil, she was asking you why couldn't you just accept they had the right to act however they like. She's used to being the one incharge and is telling you not to question her.

Just accept you can't expect them to stick to any rules you put down, however reasonable, possibly because they don't accept you have a right to put down restrictions, so don't put them in the position of control.

sorry - got confused. i thought you said they phoned and that they were on their way.

well, i would be limiting the time my child spent with them tbh.

Yes the OP was telling them off with her comment, but they were an hour late not 10 minutes, they deserve to be told this is rude thoughtless behaviour.
Their reaction was completely OTT
"yes he did, sorry we lost track of the time, we should have phoned you" was what they should have replied. Their response suggests alot of past problems. I wouldn't be letting someone who spoke to me like that in front of my kids have them again in a hurry.

Slightly off topic but I can easily see how a row during (or perhaps before) a 10 minute car journey can develop with GPs being tired and stressed with each other and aware that they are late. But they should have kept it to themselves and not in front of you and children. They sound like 12 years olds themselves to me, but I am sorry to say that my DH can behave like a 12 year old sometimes!
Think the DC would be better off not seeing them too often and your DH could explain why.

Haha jassy that was my thread!! And yes there were a lot who started slagging me off for being mean about my mil who I have to say was fantastic up to the day she died when dd was 9 weeks old!

Op, I am guessing that they were expecting you to be upset and had geared up for a row about being late and rather than hear what you said and your tone just jumped in with their own attack in defence if that makes sense.

Doesn't excuse their appalling behaviour and they definitely owe you a replacement car seat. I would be having nothing more to do with them until they grow up and apologise frankly

No matter what the OP said or the tone she said it in the FIL should not have reacted the way he did.It sounds like he has a HUGE anger problem if he can't reign it in when his GC are around! I would not let the GPs have unsupervised contact.

Even if your tone was impolite, there is no excuse to get aggressive and throw something in front of the child. If they are only 10 mins away, why on earth didn't they phone you?

Have you fallen out with them before?

I also think there's a back story here.

If they are always so erratic and bad tempered and rude why would you let them be alone with your child? If they are normally quite civilised and polite why would they suddenly start telling you to shut your mouth and throw child seats across the lawn.

There's something not making sense here.

Do you call upon them often for childcare favours OP and then turn up late? I too think there might also be a lot more to this than just your side of the story.

Caly, where in this thread has the OP suggested her parents in law provide childcare at all? She's made it clear that this particular instance was not a favour to her but at the grandparents' request.

Have I got this right?

You: Did DH mention to bring baby home at 5?
Them: Shut your mouth, you're never on time. Why can't you be civil? .

That was it? No lead up, no flipping the bird from you, nothing else at all?

This is the craziest thing I can imagine! Who acts like that? I would honestly never see them ever again. If DH had an issue with that then I'd be evaluating my relationship too. That is not normal behaviour.

I think there's no where near half the story here,

They sound bonkers. But there is obviously much more to the story.

As an aside, is no-one else thinking: of course a 4 year old is getting up very early if you put them to bed at 6.30! Thats practically mid-afternoon in the middle of summer. Sounds bizarre.