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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To serve kosher meat just to spite them?

280 replies

flaquark · 29/03/2014 11:52

I think I might be being a tad silly but..

A few of DH's work collegues are coming over for sunday dinner (with their families) tomorrow. We did all the making sure about veggies and allergies and all that.
I got a text from one of them saying that they were looking forward to coming and all that and they added on the end that could we not serve any kosher meat tomorrow as they dont agree with it.
Both me and DH dont keep kosher, at all, never have.

For some reason the text really pissed me off, and I really want to go and buy different meat that is all kosher.

I'm being ridiculous aren't I?

OP posts:
Lucyccfc · 29/03/2014 11:54

Why would you be pissed off?

It's no different to allergies, veggies etc. some people eat kosher meat, some people don't. Would you respect their views if they insisted on kosher meat? If you would, then you should respect their views on non kosher meat - it's no different, unless you just want to get all pc about it.

trashcanjunkie · 29/03/2014 11:54

the method of killing kosher meat is probably their issue, but it seems strange to mention it... are you or they jewish?

antimatter · 29/03/2014 11:55

why not server just vegetarian and get over with your anger that way Grin

WooWooOwl · 29/03/2014 11:56

Your reaction is ridiculous, yes.

Not wanting to eat kosher is no different to not wanting to eat meat. They are both personal choices made for personal reasons. It's wierd that you will happily accommodate one but not the other.

WorraLiberty · 29/03/2014 11:56

Would you serve meat to spite a vegetarian, or would you respect their choice/belief?

shakinstevenslovechild · 29/03/2014 11:58

Why has it annoyed you?

You asked a question, they answered, are people only allowed to have dietary preferences you agree with?

PacificDogwood · 29/03/2014 12:00

Yes, you are being a bit silly.
Frankly, I would not have asked about food preferences, even allergies.
I love inviting people to my home, cook for them and hopefully have a nice time. I'd be happy to take allergies/religious preferences in to account if they told me.
You asked, they told - I think YABU to be annoyed by it.

ebwy · 29/03/2014 12:01

if they know you are a jewish household, the polite thing for them to do would be to eat vegetarian if they can't stand the method of slaughter of kosher animals.

the polite thing for you to do is swallow down the implied offense to your religion and serve them vegetarian food

Caitlin17 · 29/03/2014 12:04

I'm assuming your Jewish? Otherwise the comment is mad but yes you are unreasonable.

I rarely eat meat. I don't eat pork for example unless I've bought it from a source which guarantees it is free range (not that you'll be serving pork if you're Jewish, ) It concerns me if I don't know the provenance of the meat. I wouldn't eat Kosher meat as I disapprove strongly of how the animals are killed.

LimeLelloLizard · 29/03/2014 12:04

Yes you're being a bit silly.

Just serve vegetarian food.

Ottolenghi's 'Plenty' is full of good ideas.

Have a lovely time with your friends!

OwlCapone · 29/03/2014 12:14

Buy halal meat instead. They only specified kosher. Although they are more or less the same aren't they?

But really, you are being ridiculous and i don't see why you would want to be deliberately mean.

Original poster
flaquark · 29/03/2014 12:18

I have no idea why it annoyed me, no idea.

(they texted me weeks after I had asked about other requirments) - maybe it is the fact they did it the day before?

OP posts:
TeWiSavesTheDay · 29/03/2014 12:23

Urgh. How rude of them. I would be annoyed too!

Surely they would have realised kosher meat was a possibility and just asked for a vegetarian option weeks ago?

I wouldn't buy new meat, but I would ignore the txt, and be vague about the food's provenance.

Crinkle77 · 29/03/2014 12:24

I can see where the OP is coming from. They sound a bit rude. If I was going to a Jewish household I would just shut up and eat it as I would not want to be offend my hosts or as another poster suggested I woulod just eat veggie.

ThreeBeeOneGee · 29/03/2014 12:25

No one would be forcing them to eat it. It's up to you what you serve in your own home. They are being unreasonable.
I'm vegetarian, but when I'm invited somewhere, I wouldn't dream of asking the hosts not to serve any meat to the rest of their guests.

Caitlin17 · 29/03/2014 12:26

TeWi she doesn't have to be vague. She hasn't bought Kosher. There isn't a problem.

ThreeBeeOneGee · 29/03/2014 12:27

To suddenly make this demand, twenty-four hours before the event, is just entitled and rude.

HolidayCriminal · 29/03/2014 12:34

I'm a mischief maker & would be entertaining the same fantasy, OP.

capsium · 29/03/2014 12:35

I wonder if they would check the provenance of any meat? Would they ask if it was organic or free range for example?

If it is for religious reasons it is apt that the New Testament of the Bible even mentions this and advices just not to ask about meat's provenance....then there is no conflict of beliefs. Although of course they may not be Christian.

Tbh I would do as you usually do. Not worth taking offense about. People refuse food for all sorts of reasons. If they ask, say where the meat comes from but have plenty of food available for those who do not want to eat the meat.

BackOnlyBriefly · 29/03/2014 12:36

You are being ridiculous, but so are they and so are the vegetarian guests.

And if Jewish people come to dinner they can eat pork like everyone else or go without.

That's fair right?

TeWiSavesTheDay · 29/03/2014 12:37

I realise that, Caitlin. But, I would be vague to appease my annoyance. Petty but satisfying.

CeliaFate · 29/03/2014 12:42

Cheeky bastards! If I'm invited to someone's home for a meal then I would eat whatever you choose to serve. All they've done by issuing this very cheeky request is ensure you'll think long and hard before inviting them again.

How rude of them!

littleducks · 29/03/2014 12:43

Country file did a really interesting piecee on halal And kosher meat recently. Apparently there is loads of kosher slaughtered meat in the market as only the fore legs are kosher and the hind legs are sold as non kosher. So half of every animal slaughtered for kosher meat is sold in the main market.

It even showed inside a halal abattoir if anyone is interested and wanted to check out on Iplayer.

Topaz25 · 29/03/2014 12:43

They should have mentioned it earlier when you asked about dietary preferences but you haven't bought kosher meat so there is no problem. They would BU to expect you to buy all new meat if you had already bought kosher meat but since you haven't then you would BU to buy kosher meat just to piss them off.

capsium · 29/03/2014 12:45

Although I remember years ago being a bit strict about Organic food, not that I would dream of insisting on it but I definitely preferred it, especially for DC. Since then, needs must and I have mellowed....

I still am quite opinionated about farming methods though but don't think about them very much now. Will still try to avoid as many chemical additives as is practical though...I think this can be a similar issue if take to the nth degree. A lot of unwanted toiletries / non perishable food gifts now go to the School Fayre, but years ago I would have even felt uncomfortable about giving them away...

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