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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

birthday cakes at birthday parties

112 replies

geriatricmom · 18/03/2014 17:53

am I BU to think that if you have a birthday party and everyone sings happy birthday around the cake for the child to blow out the candles , the cake is then shared out or wrapped up and put in party bags.
I have been to three childrens parties this year when the cake was then taken home intact for home consumption only, the guests received cupcakes or a slice of generic cake to take home, my dd age 5 was looking forward to a piece of the special cake and was a bit disappointed with a cupcake, although she didnt notice the generic cake was not the party cake on the other times. now not complaining because the parties were lovely and the parents had put a lot of effort into them, I was just wondering why bother with a birthday cake if its not to share. the birthdays were either on the birth day or the birthday had been on a weekday before the party, so they were not saving to have on the day coming up (in which case I totally understand) it seems to be the norm now to show a lovely cake but not cut it for your guests, is this the done thing now?

OP posts:

WooWooOwl · 18/03/2014 17:56

I don't think it's the done thing, but it is a valid option. As long as there is cake for the guests, I don't think it really matters which cake it is.

QueenofKelsingra · 18/03/2014 17:56

tough one.

I make sculpted cakes for my DC and quite often family want to see the cakes too who may not be at the party. plus I do the parties myself so amd running party games etc and want to save time. so I make the proper cake and a 'sheet cake' - same type of cake and iced in the same colours, which I can cut up prior to the party for the bags. I don't think anyone noticed that it wasn't the same cake. I took the sculpted one out of sight after the candles bit.

I can understand disappointment if the go home cakes were not of the same quality standard as the real cake but I also understand that often the 'friends' party and the 'family' party are separate hence saving the real cake.

however my DS is just happy to have cake of any nature so not a problem I've encountered from him!

StuntBottom · 18/03/2014 17:57

Never heard of this and it's a bit odd. We've sometimes had more than one birthday cake so we can have one at the children's party and one for a separate family party but I wouldn't bring one out and then not share it.

HighlanderMam · 18/03/2014 17:57

Strange.. I had a party for my daughters 2nd birthday on Sunday, we had a lovely cake, cut it up and shared it out after singing happy birthday. Normal procedure as far as I'm concerned!

It was chocolate and yummy.

QueenofKelsingra · 18/03/2014 17:58

to add, how do you know they weren't being saved? unless you have access to their diaries...?

nancy75 · 18/03/2014 17:58

most of dd's parties have had over 30 kids, it is much easier to blow out candles on a little cake and then give out ready wrapped cup cakes

HighlanderMam · 18/03/2014 17:59

It was jungle theme by the way, hence the tiger on the cake

LittleprincessinGOLDrocks · 18/03/2014 18:02

I am a bit guilty of this. I tend to do a very small cake which sits on top of the cup cake stand (6inch cake tin), then fill the rest of the stand with cup cakes.
So DC blow out the candle on the cake then I hand out the cup cakes in little boxes to guests as they leave. I do this as it is less hassle for me at the end of the party, and ensures all guests get the same amount of cake and icing.
We then eat the cake after tea for a few days.
I have in the past done a big cake and just sliced it up, but I got people saying which piece they wanted, how the pieces were not all the same size, "he got more icing than me" etc. Too much like hassle!

missmapp · 18/03/2014 18:06

but it is so much easier to have pre cut cake already wrapped in paper napkins and put in party bags!!!

I have done this , but have never noticed if others do or not. I don't think YABU , but I do think you are a bit odd to be bothered!!

Hulababy · 18/03/2014 18:08

We have done both. DD's friend's have had both happen too.
No one, including the children, have ever commented on it at all.

Infact the lovely personalised cupcake DD recieved this weekend at her friend's 12th birthday looked great Can't imagine anyone was concerned at all at not having a slice of the bigger cake.

Sparklingbrook · 18/03/2014 18:08

Years ago now but I used to buy another cake for the party bags. It was just easier to do them and wrap them in a serviette prior to the party. I didn't want to spend time cutting cake at the party itself.

When the DCs used to bring party cake home I always used to wonder how much child spit was on the top from candle blowing.

BoingBoingBoingBoingBoingBoing · 18/03/2014 18:09

Ohh... I have committed this crime! Have often given DC a party with about 30 children. Have purchased a small M&S cake to stick the candles in and sing "Happy Birthday" around, then have put individual (probably very lovely Waitrose Birthday) Cup Cakes in each party bag - all nicely wrapped.
Never heard a complaint. It's not that we're desperate to take the small M&S cake home (we do eat it though!)... just can't be bothered to chop it up and wrap it up when surrounded by small people having a meltdown waiting for their party bags! Been to lots of parties though were lovely parents make huge brilliant cakes, and you get a slice in the party bag. Though sadly often DC too stuffed to eat after party and next day it's all dry and goes promptly in the bin. Where as lovely (Waitrose Birthday Cup Cakes) having been individually wrapped in a plastic bag with a tie will survive a few days. (I don't work for Waitrose!).

Chippednailvarnish · 18/03/2014 18:11

How many five year olds would be able to recognise a piece of cake that has been cut, wrapped in a napkin and then been put into a party bag and probably squashed when digging around for the sweets / plastic tat?

StuntBottom · 18/03/2014 18:12

I never thought of the pre-cutting and pre-packing. Now it makes perfect sense. I think I might do the 'small cake and individual cupcakes option' myself next time.

NewtRipley · 18/03/2014 18:12

So this is the newest thing.....

It's a shame in a way, but I can see that it's easier and neater to have individual cupcakes.

Original poster

geriatricmom · 18/03/2014 18:15

I know they werent being saved as they are good friends of mine and I asked outright, they just didnt want to cut it at the party they were having it at home which is their perogative of course and believe me we did have a chuckle about it together as quite a few of the children asked about the cake(that was the party when they got the cupcake) , I was just wondering if its now the done thing and I was missing something.
highlander thats a fab cake.
dd is only 5 she wouldnt notice quality , like I say she didnt even know with the generic cake, and I suppose its a good idea to have one ready done for guests for a large party, however if we were to do that,instead of a half eaten cake to get through at home after the party we would have the whole one to eat and would probably end up chucking most of it.

OP posts:

Winterwardrobetime · 18/03/2014 18:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LittleprincessinGOLDrocks · 18/03/2014 18:17

Why is it a shame NewtRipley ?
The cupcakes are made from the same mixture I use for the cake (Egg free so have to make them myself), and have icing any special toppings on.

BoingBoingBoingBoingBoingBoing · 18/03/2014 18:18

It's the done thing for me because I am (A) lazy!, and (B) the cake only came from M&S, and (C) the cup-cakes from Waitrose are nicer (and shockingly more expensive!) than the M&S cake.

But basically it boils down to laziness on my part and huge lack of cake making skills! If I made great cakes like the one above I'd be very proud of myself indeed!

CountessOfRule · 18/03/2014 18:19

I wouldn't want that much spare cake tbh. I always cut the pretty one - always cut in a grid so it's dead quick, and tough luck if you get a less iced bit.

DC1 definitely notices which bit of the cake he got - "look mummy I've got part of Spiderman's leg!" - but only one child in my experience has ever asked for a particular bit (a little fondant ant that had taken aaaaages to sculpt, and I said no because it was too tricky in the time remaining to make sure he did).

LittleprincessinGOLDrocks · 18/03/2014 18:19

CountessOfRule · 18/03/2014 18:19

As for showing off cake, I take photos and brag on FB

Sirzy · 18/03/2014 18:21

I would actually rather a cup cake be sent home - less likely to get squished and messy!

Makes much more sense to send ready cut cake home, save the hassle and really does it matter They have cake does it matter which cake?

Hulababy · 18/03/2014 18:21

I don't think it is anything new. Known it - as said before - for a while now. DD is almost 12y, so at least the last 9/10 years.

Sparklingbrook · 18/03/2014 18:22

DS1 is nearly 15 and I remember doing it. Not new, just practical.

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