birthday cakes at birthday parties

[geriatricmom]

am I BU to think that if you have a birthday party and everyone sings happy birthday around the cake for the child to blow out the candles , the cake is then shared out or wrapped up and put in party bags.
I have been to three childrens parties this year when the cake was then taken home intact for home consumption only, the guests received cupcakes or a slice of generic cake to take home, my dd age 5 was looking forward to a piece of the special cake and was a bit disappointed with a cupcake, although she didnt notice the generic cake was not the party cake on the other times. now not complaining because the parties were lovely and the parents had put a lot of effort into them, I was just wondering why bother with a birthday cake if its not to share. the birthdays were either on the birth day or the birthday had been on a weekday before the party, so they were not saving to have on the day coming up (in which case I totally understand) it seems to be the norm now to show a lovely cake but not cut it for your guests, is this the done thing now?

[ZenGardener]

Actually a friend was telling me about her son's wedding in Hawaii where they had a big fake cake which they took pictures of them cutting but the at the dinner they were given a regular piece of cake to eat. She found it quite amusing.

We cut the cake and eat it there and then at our kids parties but I can see if you are doing it at soft play or something it might be more complicated. I do remember as a kid we would bagsie the bit we wanted. I'll take a bit of eye. That sort of thing. It was fun!

[PseudoBadger]

DS is only just 3 and has been to a few parties in his life. At every one so far the cake has been cut and eaten at the party. I must just have nice friends!

[MoleInAComa]

You could just have a instead....

[NormHonal]

Slices of cake that come home in party bags in our house invariably get forgotten about and thrown away a couple of days later, usually because my DCs are chocoholics and cannot conceive of such a thing as non-chocolate cake (most birthday cakes being vanilla sponges).

What I have done at "our" parties is matching cupcakes (yup, sorry!) which the children can eat there and then.

The big cake then goes for the family party (cake usually made by family member, so they get to see/supervise the demolition and soak up the praise).

And no stressful faffing about finding knives and napkins before the impending end of the party.

[SarahAndFuck]

It is getting quite popular to do birthday cake with matching cupcakes.

We've been to lots of parties where we've brought home a cupcake instead of a piece of actual birthday cake.

DS does not care one bit. The cupcakes are made of the same mixture and usually decorated with matching topper things.

It did seem a bit strange to me at first but it seems to be becoming the norm now. I think it's because quite often people do a party at the weekend and then a family tea on the actual birthday.

[WalkingThePlank]

I've found the opposite - massive cake and 15 children. Each child goes home with tiny slither and we go home with 2/3 of the cake. I'd rather give generously and have enough for us as a family to have with a cuppa when we go home.

[CountessOfRule]

Trouble with softplay places is that they can take slicing requests very literally - 15 children, massive slab cake (for all the guests and then leftovers for home) cut into sixteen equal pieces. Each child goes home with a piece of cake approximately the size of his head

[Joolsy]

We went to a party recently & it was only after that I realised the kids invited didn't get a piece of the birthday cake - infact, no cake at all! But they didn't notice as they got an Easter egg instead of a party bag. I thought it was a bit odd though. Last year & this year DD is having a softplay party and they are fab 'cos they cut up the cake for me & put it in the party bags - I don't have to lift a finger (except make it, that is). On her actual birthday, not sure if anyone is even coming round but I've got a handmade choccie cake from Lidl - will prob taste better than my effort!

[ZingSweetCoconut]

especially as they are children!
all they want is THE CAKE!
the shiny special birthday cake.
right now. Get a crappy replacement instead

try it with adults you'd be lynched I'm sure!
imagine at a wedding - beautiful 3-tiered cake shown off then wheeled away and you get a rich tea biscuit to take home.

[Aeroflotgirl]

Exactly zing, why sing round tge cake if they are not getting any of that cake, seems very odd to me. We are not taking about people having cupcakes as cake or different types of cakes, but them not getting some of the birthday child's actual,cake. I normally cut the cake up after happy birthday has been sung, I thought that's what normally happens.

[ZingSweetCoconut]

ffs, I'm not for spoiling kids but isn't it mean spirited to show the invited children what they will not be getting?

If people only want to show off their baking creations for applause and ego-boosting they should do it at a baking competition, not at a kids birthday party.

[itiswhatitiswhatitis]

If I was having a party at home cake would be cut and given out to eat there and then as I do think that is quite special for the kids but if it's being cut up, wrapped in kitchen roll and stuffed in a party bag then I don't think it matters

[ebwy]

when I was a kid, the cake was cut up and eaten at the party with pieces being wrapped up to be given to absent friends.


but then, it was the 70's and early 80's, and we didn't do party bags etc either, and were limited to about 6 or 7 kids around our dining table so numbers were naturally limited

[ThornOfCamorr]

I really think it's up to the people having the party who eats the cake! Children have so much now,party bags,fab prizes and exciting activity parties. Expectation has gone through the roof.When I was little eating the cake really was a massive deal- having a bit of cake was a rare treat! You went to your friends house for the party,played a couple of party games (and not everyone got a prize!) had a few sandwiches,crisps and sausage rolls then sung Happy Birthday ate a piece of cake and went home- without a party bag. imagine if I did that now I appreciate the cake is still very very important to children but they do have many treats.Lots of people splash out on a great party for their child's friends and like to keep the special cake to share with family. I don't see a problem with that at all.

[Fillybuster]

I don't mind giving cake to small children - I make 4 x quantities of Nigella's Old Fashioned Chocolate Cake recipe for most of these, and there's a limit to how much of that even I can eat (I think ) but I would love to make something smaller (which maybe doesn't take 6 hours to ice...) and get rid of the faff-factor involved with rapidly cutting and packing 35-40 slices in the last 30 mins of each party....

[itiswhatitiswhatitis]

Ooh filly I made the same dinosaur cake for ds's party (and gave none to small children mwah ha ha ha)

[Fillybuster]

I make pretty large cakes and always cut them up and send them home. But I'm fairly certain lots of it gets chucked away by parents post-party, or just sits somewhere getting stale and I find cutting up and wrapping 30 slices in hurry quite hard work (plus I miss the end of the party....).

So (contra the OP - sorry!) I really like the idea of pre-cut flat cake or similarly decorated cup cakes to send home. But I do need to figure out how I make complicated cakes in smaller sizes....

[PeaceEagle]

Last party we had for ds there were only cupcakes on a stand, which the children ate there and then. No big cake at all and none to take home. I can only imagine what you must think of me.

Not a single six year old was bothered, btw. We did the singing and candles - I thought that was the important bit?

[Aeroflotgirl]

It's very odd and rude. If you want to keep the special cake for family don't bring it to the party, have a cheaper cake for tge kiddies party, which you sing round and dish out. It's not about the cake but the principle, yes kids do notice. What's the point in singing round the special birthday cake if no child gets any!

[Nocomet]

I've have a DF who does this as all sorts of relatives come to tea, some after helping with the party.

Fair enough except, chunks of tray bake are too obviously not the cake with the candles even to a 6 year old.

They may well just give the cake to DH, but they want their gift to dad to be "birthday cake", such things matter when you are 6.

A small cake surrounded by lots of well decorated, in the same theme, cupcakes is absolutly fine.

DCs will understand the cake won't do everyone and have been displayed and sung over, the buns become birthday cake, in a way generic cake hiden in the kitchen clearly doesn't.

[ZenGardener]

It's an interesting idea. I never thought about it before.

I think the OP was just asking. I don't understand where the accusations of her being outraged or complaining about it being a first world problem have come from.

[DamnBamboo]

I have done this.
When there are 40 kids at a party, it is much easier to have a pre-cut cake or cupcakes ready to go.
If the kids get some cake, who really cares.

YABU.

[Sparklingbrook]

I don't see the point of making a masterpiece when Asda sell cakes for £8.

[GoodnessIsThatTheTime]

They're mainly home made around here. And often very good! There's an industry of people who make to order and sell too!

[Blu]

We just cut it up at the table after the candles and share it out to eat there and then. No messing with wrapping it up for party bags!

Then the other parents can't judge my cake making skills when the party bag gets home